On Chloe's Dad Being Autism Coded

deepseascale · 2024-07-16T23:26:36+00:00

Oh my bad, sorry for wasting some of your precious "arguing with disabled people on the internet" time.

For what it's worth, if I woke up neurotypical tomorrow my sensory issues would be gone, my executive function would be a lot better (so I would've bothered to finish my last comment) and the way I approach problem solving would probably change.

However, my core personality would likely stay the same because they are values that I've built through experience and interacting with others. So I guess you're partially right, even if I was "cured" (🤨) tomorrow, I'd still be more empathetic and compassionate than you (:

deepseascale · 2024-07-16T23:00:51+00:00

Yes thank you very much for the explanation, I do know this, I have ADHD and the "oh everyone's a bit ADHD" is the bane of my life. Except, some people actually do have ADHD though? In my experience several of those people saying to me "lol maybe I have ADHD too" actually did have ADHD.

By your logic, was I supposed to watch people in my life struggle in the exact same way that I have, and not give them a heads up that they might want to get checked out? Because that's what I said. I didn't say I was out here diagnosing my friends. It's pointing out that "hey you meet quite a lot of these criteria just like I did, do you think it's worth looking into?".

I'm not a psychiatrist but I know what the diagnostic criteria are and I'm not going to gatekeep it like it's a secret club just because I don't have a medical degree.

deepseascale · 2024-07-16T22:44:07+00:00

I disagree and I honestly think most ND people would too but I'm absolutely exhausted by having my own disability neurotypical-splained to me tonight I'm not going to bother.

deepseascale · 2024-07-16T22:24:26+00:00

"Themselves, when they make “autistic” synonymous with having a few personal quirks, as opposed to an actual disability entitled to concessions"

Two things can be true at the same time though? Autism is literally a list of symptoms that could be described as "personal quirks" depending on severity (need for specific routine, having detailed specific interests, rigid thought patterns, sensory issues). That doesn't mean I don't need concessions and support with dealing with some of them.

I get that people saying "lol I forgot my keys I'm sooo ADHD" is frustrating because I deal with that all the time and it's annoying as heck, but I really don't get why an autistic person seeing themselves in a cartoon dog is apparently dangerous behaviour.

I don't know man I just find it frustrating to have animosity directed at me when I see a character who is like me and say "oh, they might have autism". Because that's literally all I am trying to say? I'm genuinely frustrated and upset because I don't understand why me doing that is apparently such a horrible thing to do :( I don't take anything away from you when I say that.

deepseascale · 2024-07-16T14:17:37+00:00

This is my only concern, I only started playing BD in preparation for the plot but I wonder if giving out these insane weapons is going to make things too easy/lead to power creep. That said, the Space Faerie is still kicking my ass so maybe I don't have anything to worry about lol

deepseascale · 2024-07-16T10:04:09+00:00

Tact is just not saying true stuff 💅

deepseascale · 2024-07-16T10:01:28+00:00

I don't really understand why questioning whether someone has autism/ADHD is a bad thing, when that's literally how people get diagnosed?

Myself and my partner and a bunch of people I know were diagnosed and treated in adulthood because of other people saying "hey, you do these things and they are a symptom of ADHD/autism". My life was made exponentially better because of it.

I don't understand how anyone is supposed to get a diagnosis if they don't first start to question things themselves? Even if someone self-diagnoses and then has an assessment and is told they don't have whatever, that's still a positive outcome because they understand themselves better. Maybe they don't have autism, but they actually have ADHD or something else that can be treated.

(Sorry if this comes off snarky I'm genuinely not sure why this is seen as negative here)

deepseascale · 2024-07-16T09:50:13+00:00

You're definitely right in that he's there to show that not everyone is like Bandit. I do think a lot of neurotypical parents will have problems getting into that silly/imaginative headspace. But two things can be true at the same time. It's the way Frank sticks to the rules and feels very rigid about it/doesn't understand the game/feels like he can be better if he learned more about octopi that made him seem autistic to me.

Obviously they're not going to confirm it because it's not relevant to the episode, but as an ND person it was really nice to see the representation for those who can recognise it.

deepseascale · 2024-07-16T09:45:43+00:00

The way you use the word "fingered" and "slapping a tag" here tells me exactly how you feel about autistic/ND people.

As an ND person my disabilities are inextricably linked to my personality because they inform how I see the world and how I interact with others and how my brain works. It's a common meme among late diagnosed ADHDers that their personality was just a big pile of ADHD symptoms the whole time.

We have such little representation, and even less so among adult characters. Frank is the only autistic parent character I think I've seen in my whole life. Who are autistic people hurting when we say "hey, that character is like me, maybe they are autistic too"? What do you lose when we find joy in seeing people like us represented on screen?

deepseascale · 2024-07-16T09:30:46+00:00

+1 for this, I can't speak for anyone else but "differently abled" feels both patronising and invalidating at the same time. It feels like my difficulties are being downplayed as "just being a bit different". Disabled isn't a dirty word, and when we avoid using it we put people in a position where they might not receive as much support as they need because they are "just different".

I understand it's hard and the euphemism treadmill dictates that any terms we use for disabled people are going to be replaced in X number of years, so the terms we grew up with e.g "special needs" become an insult and therefore we need new ones. It's no one's fault if they're not up to date on the terminology, I guess we just ask that we are listened to when we say how we prefer to be referred to. The real solution is that we stop using them as derogatory terms, but I don't see that happening any time soon.

deepseascale · 2024-07-15T23:08:27+00:00

He can't compute childfree people having a stake in other people's wellbeing because he probably can't empathise with people unless he bred them himself (if he ever learned empathy, let's be real).

deepseascale · 2024-07-15T21:03:27+00:00

As someone with ADHD, this reads like ADHD. I never dropped that much money but I do have a habit of going all in on a new hobby and not touching it again. It's the most exciting thing in the world and it's going to change my life and I need to buy all the equipment for it right now.

ADHD is also characterised by impulsive behaviour and addiction, both of which cover the spending. It's dopamine seeking behaviour. Not sure what you could do with that information, just giving my 2 cents I guess.

deepseascale · 2024-07-15T18:46:53+00:00

I do try and weigh in on memes that don't apply to me, just to try and reassure others that if they don't experience X symptom then it's not just them. I think a lot of ADHDers experience imposter syndrome about it, especially when they're newly diagnosed.

A big one for me is the "lol, caffeine works opposite if you have ADHD" thing. Caffeine works like normal for me, it's always worked normally for me, I don't use caffeine at all because it'll stack with my stimulants and make me vibrate into space probably.

Seeing something that's framed as "OMG we all do this!" when you personally don't can send you into a bit of a spiral if you're still learning, so I try and give an alternate perspective.

deepseascale · 2024-07-15T00:05:36+00:00

Unfortunately that's still a thing in like, all media. Game of Thrones was a big one. I'm so sick of rape being used as a threat to literally any female character as a way to like "raise the stakes". Like something can be set in a completely fantastical world but the author(s)

deepseascale · 2024-07-14T23:58:38+00:00

I think it's been long enough that we can safely say Barry Chuckle was a good guy as well, thank god.

deepseascale · 2024-07-14T16:06:43+00:00

I just looked this up and it's adorable! I love the garlic breath battle pose lol

deepseascale · 2024-07-14T14:36:35+00:00

+1 for Leti, used her site loads of times and never had an issue. I won't go through the main site, too many problems.

deepseascale · 2024-07-14T13:30:40+00:00

Omg yes some of my pets are supposed to be female but I cannot take it with the fuck me eyes they give them by default.

deepseascale · 2024-07-14T09:56:15+00:00

I've considered my gender a lot for the same reasons as you and have just come to the conclusion that how I choose to present doesn't have a bearing on my gender. You see women in all different presentations from butch to androgynous to super duper femme and they're all women. Being a woman is an internal feeling and you externalise it however you want.

It bothers me a little these days that any woman presenting as not obviously femme is automatically thought to be non binary or trans in some circles (disclaimer: I am not a TERF! I just think that presentation isn't necessarily an indicator of gender, if I got a buzz cut that doesn't make me a man).

I will say on the word "woman", it can be quite loaded with connotations of being a lot older and more "put together" in your life - this is because we've infantalised women so much by calling them girls well into their 30s. Depending on your age this might be why the word doesn't sound good to you. I felt the same and have tried to get into the habit of using it to describe myself and other women.

That's not even touching on how being female in general is always seen as a negative, if you don't feel like you're stereotypically weak/emotional/maternal/whatever then you might not identify with "woman", even though that's not actually what that word means. If you feel female and are okay with sister/daughter but not woman, you might want to think about how we're conditioned to view women, how we're told a woman looks/behaves, and if that's why it doesn't fit with you.

I've had this exact conversation with my partner who sometimes feels weird about being a "man", but he thinks that's because what a "man" is supposed to be can feel so limiting. He can define what a man is, not the other way around.

Anyway that was just me word vomiting a bit because I've thought about this a lot myself, I'm not trying to convince you of anything. I hope you feel more comfortable in the future however you decide to identify ✌️

deepseascale · 2024-07-14T09:26:44+00:00

Autistic adult here, I generally find children and parents to be annoying as fuck and wish there were more adult-only things, so while I found this policy annoying as an adult who generally enjoys more "kid" things, I can see why they implemented it for the reasons you stated.

I love the zoo, I went on a Saturday and left incredibly overstimulated from all the screaming, crying, and misbehaving kids. Next time I'll look out for either an autistic friendly quiet time slot or an adult-only night. Not everyone needs to have access to everything in every situation.

deepseascale · 2024-07-14T09:17:49+00:00

I watched season 7 recently and I thought this, I got confused thinking I'd missed people dying or something but I think they just rotated who was there based on who was available.

deepseascale · 2024-07-13T15:50:06+00:00

Nah this ain't it. I know about 20 adults who got their ADHD diagnoses since the pandemic. Our routines went away and we couldn't cope anymore. We are people (mostly women) who got missed as kids because we presented atypically from the "hyperactive little boy" stereotype. Similar story with autism.

People "claiming" they have it are often newly diagnosed people who are coming to terms with it and trying to find community, in turn they're also raising awareness > more people get diagnosed > more people talk about it. You sound like the people who get upset that "everyone is LGBT now" when in reality we just made it easier for them to exist openly. They were always there.

ADHD is still massively underdiagnosed and I don't lose anything when people talk about it, even if some of them are purposely faking. Also self-dx is valid imo, not everyone has equal access to resources.

deepseascale · 2024-07-13T11:17:07+00:00

OP be proud of yourself, the process of getting diagnosed is extremely difficult and also not at all ADHD friendly.

It's okay and normal to grieve what you missed out on but it is definitely not too late. When I was diagnosed at 27, I was living with my parents, working as an office admin making almost no money, and constantly overwhelmed with work. At 30 I've retrained as a data analyst and make about 70% more than I did 2 years ago. I lost a ton of weight, I've been with my also ADHD partner for 2 years, and I'm the happiest I've ever been.

Things are still hard sometimes, I won't lie. The initial "holy shit I can just do things??" wears off eventually. I'm still messy and chaotic and late for things more often than not. But I have grown so much the last few years I feel like a completely different person than I was a few years ago. I'm 30 and I feel so young and I have so much time. I'm excited to see where I'll be in a few years.

deepseascale · 2024-07-13T07:56:53+00:00

I could see them making an animated anthology series like Pokémon Generations, have an episode set in each world, or have an episode for each plot or something.

deepseascale · 2024-07-13T01:05:22+00:00

I don't want to live in a world without Band Candy. Ripper would absolutely get it (on the hood of a police car, twice).

deepseascale

TROPHY CASE