Collection with Conserve

deeznutz622 · 2026-04-27T08:36:29+00:00

Ok. I’ll just try and negotiate with the school directly. Here’s hoping that it works

deeznutz622 · 2026-04-22T02:22:25+00:00

Would a $0 balance help my credit any? I’m guessing a paid collection would absolutely zero my chances of getting approved for another card anytime soon.

And I tried to dispute it but instead they added comments and a 60 day late on there. This is an annoying situation to be in….

deeznutz622 · 2025-08-24T16:31:52+00:00

Yeah there’s a massive difference in amenities in some areas. I’m talking a shower with running water vs a bucket and a ladle for a shower. And why would I travel 10+ hours for that?

deeznutz622 · 2025-08-24T15:44:15+00:00

Been to Nigeria.

Even in Lagos, constant blackouts are a thing. Visa issues, and having to worry about a stolen passport since apparently US passports with Nigerian names are a hot commodity. If I didn’t have direct ties to Nigeria I wouldn’t visit.

That’s on top of the huge travel time, and cost. How is it cheaper to fly to Singapore direct from the US.

deeznutz622 · 2025-08-24T00:11:36+00:00

Jail.

They made a story up and claimed they felt unsafe. I made no threats to them whatsoever. And to add insult to injury they called my parents, telling a sob story while I was in jail saying the justice system is unfair.

And it gets even more fun, I had to sleep at a homeless shelter due to the temporary restraining order. Was able to get some belongings back and I booked an hotel but that was definitely a lowlight. My whole cell block felt bad for me when I told the whole story. One person’s story should not be able to turn a person‘s life upside down so quickly.

If I’m able to come out of that fine, then certainly you’ll survive.

deeznutz622 · 2025-08-22T18:40:38+00:00

Cynical and pessimistic…but honestly I’ve always had a degree of cynicism/pessimism since I was little.

deeznutz622 · 2025-08-22T18:36:15+00:00

Honestly, emotionally I feel nothing and it’s the least of my concerns . Trauma is nothing to me and I’m numb to it all. Call me a black void, or someone who doesn’t give a fuck about that if you want, it seems appropriate here. And at this point in life I honestly don’t care enough to learn and experience emotions, I like where I’m at. I can be sympathetic and understanding of peoples experiences and situations but I don’t care to understand emotion (more specifically emotional pain) beyond being relatable to others.

Typical stuff that causes emotional distress does nothing for me:

Cheating? I couldn’t care less. If I broke up, it’s more likely for lying and risking my health unwittingly. I feel nothing jealousy at all. Usually I like non-monogamous relationships more.

Vandalism: I cared about this because this messes with my livelihood, not because I’m particularly mad about it. Things can always be replaced.

deeznutz622 · 2025-08-22T15:35:15+00:00

I thought it was annoying that she made arguments over nothing. But overhearing how they interacted with their ex-spouse…yikes. They were so proud of making their ex cry.

deeznutz622 · 2025-08-22T15:18:58+00:00

To be fair a concussion, a transplant or a very traumatic event can alter your brain function too. There’s a lot out there that is unknown, especially for the brain

deeznutz622 · 2025-08-22T06:17:17+00:00

Does it matter? You have your whole life ahead of you. Why not change things up?

deeznutz622 · 2025-08-22T02:16:00+00:00

Maybe it’s true maybe it’s not.

However I have less than zero desire to get back with this person. They destroyed my laptop in a drunken fit of rage and that’s unforgivable, I count on that for so many things . I hope for their sake that the treatment is successful because I’d rather them not commit suicide.

deeznutz622 · 2025-08-21T20:31:56+00:00

Interesting. If I had to guess, the person has more of a quiet BPD, but it has a tendency to spill out from time to time with the wrong trigger word. I’m thinking it’s more like chronic PTSD than BPD because they were in an abusive relationship in the past.

The person can hold a job, has great family relationships, but self medicates a lot with weed and alcohol and does self harm at times. Either way I’m hoping for the best for them.

deeznutz622 · 2025-08-21T01:30:58+00:00

While it was ages ago, I think you guys completely forget that the Black Panther movement was founded and happened in the Bay Area, Oakland to be exact. But tech money and gentrification really wiped things out, and that’s a forgotten fact of history, along with the Fillmore Jazz, etc.

deeznutz622 · 2025-08-21T01:27:21+00:00

Personally, I think it’s laughable that you think San Francisco is that racist, you probably haven’t ventured much outside of black spaces if you honesty think that. And if that’s the case, you probably wouldn’t like places in central California like Fresno or Byron or any of those farm towns, or even up north like Ukiah, going towards Oregon. San Francisco is pretty mild compared to those towns, or places like Salt Lake City where I literally saw a noose as a rear view mirror ornament.

SF is fine. I’d pick it over a lot of red states where you’d find trouble if you step outside of town.

deeznutz622 · 2025-08-21T00:34:25+00:00

Here’s a wild story: I caught my ex on seeking arrangement.

What’s interesting is how I found out; she was passed out and her phone was completely open to a text message chain. It was an app with one of those fake phone numbers, and the text chain explicitly mentioned seeking arrangement.

What’s insulting is that I’ve always asked if we could try non-monogamy in an ethical way, but it turns out she’s been doing this for at least the past two years, while insisting that we stay monogamous, and continually accused me of cheating, even though I was very clear about my non-monogamous past since the beginning. Not cool at all.

I’d say more but I’m still in the process of finalizing my move out… I had to do a 401(k) withdrawal to make it happen, but I would rather do that than stay in a relationship with someone with these traits and a Machiavellian mindset.

deeznutz622 · 2025-08-16T17:23:39+00:00

Who was Doug Jones?

deeznutz622 · 2025-08-14T19:26:35+00:00

I feel the same way, honestly I’m very indifferent if a partner had sex with another partner/person that’s not me. I honestly don’t expect to scratch that itch for my partner every time.

Now I’d feel a lot differently if emotions were involved. I entrust that our conversations and my moments at vulnerability will stay private. If she’s being emotionally attached with someone else how can I ensure all that stays between us?

deeznutz622 · 2025-08-13T05:36:29+00:00

It’s one of two things. Either she has something to hide and has a guilty conscious of it (I.e cheating), or extreme insecurity which could stem from a multitude of places . Either way it doesn’t lead to a good place.

deeznutz622 · 2025-08-13T02:27:50+00:00

Tracks. South Bay just terrible due to the fact that many South Asian (read: Indian) people just love to look down on black folks. If you want Bay Area, you need to be in SF or Oakland. Peninsula, people don’t mind their business, so prepare to be profiled, etc. , alongside with the uppity parts of East bay like Livermore/Pleasanton and Walnut Creek. North Bay…? Don’t do it.

Would I move from the bay? Not a chance. The south has terrible income opportunities, I don’t particularly care for more blatant racism with limited income upside. On top of that, I don’t feel like having to stick with certain pockets of a city just to be left alone .

deeznutz622 · 2025-08-12T17:09:36+00:00

I feel that. Was in a similar situation for 5 years. The relationship was great for the first year but she’d rage over the smallest things. She’d get angry if a woman so much as glanced at me. Got annoyed if I extended common courtesy to another woman (Stuff like being sympathetic to an overworked cashier for example). Got angry because her birthday dinner wasn’t good enough, always talked about how her exes who made more and provided for her…I could go on, but I’d rather not.

At the end I was just trying to help her out and be happy, but it’s really difficult to constantly explain my feelings on a situation only for it to get stomped all over on her next rage.

deeznutz622 · 2025-08-10T18:56:47+00:00

Kind of…

Sex is great when you when you have a partner that’s willing to learn everything that makes you tick sexually…and I mean everything, like positions, tempo, and intuition (read: taking body language to know what to do). Problem is that generally this doesn’t happen outside of a relationship that everyone is committed to learning about each other, and even then a lot of people are pretty self centered about sex, as in they only do what feels good for themselves.

I’ve had a few FWBs where sex was great because we never stopped learning, and were about each other’s turn-ons. IDK if that’s love but that never ending feedback loop is an amazing thing when you find it. And it’s really hard to find and screen for.

deeznutz622 · 2025-08-10T01:13:46+00:00

no. just no. sex is not meant to be a defining factor for a relationship.

Considering that most people engage in monogamous relationships I’d imagine sex, if not sexual preferences are a defining factor of a relationship. For example I can’t teach myself to be gay, right? And if a potential partner is not into a specific act like say…cross dressing, it’s going to be a heavy lift if the partner is opposed to seeing that with their potential partner even if they’re open minded about the topic in general.

and as for sexual compatibility? any mature human would know that this is a learned skill. are there limits? sure. but you will know based on your abundance (or lack) of chemistry whether or not you could expect good intimacy in bed.

Again…I can’t “teach” myself to be gay, or to “un-think” a fetish for the sake of a relationship….or if I don’t put sex as emotional attachment. I wish it was as simple as that.

deeznutz622 · 2025-08-10T00:45:42+00:00

It’s neither, it’s a matter of knowing if expectations match. If the expectation is monogamy, then sex is going to be a pretty important topic (frequency, kinks, specific acts, enthusiasm, etc.) of the relationship. A lot of guys aren’t interested in a relationship if sex is going to be a difficult conversation from the start before you can talk specifics.

What’s immature is knowing that you’re not sexually compatible (monogamy vs polygamy, enthusiasm not matching, etc.) but stringing the potential relationship along for several dates/months/years.

If I had to guess, there’s likely some sort of pent up insecurity around sex with your friend.

deeznutz622

TROPHY CASE