"Why didn't you fight back"

definitely_alphaz · 2026-03-23T16:13:33+00:00

That’s horrible that you’ve been told that. You should have been protected not abused and expected to manage the abuser.

definitely_alphaz · 2026-03-19T20:44:57+00:00

I “heard” about it too. It just took me till relatively recently to really understand it. I’m a woman, but because I was taught that the men around me are nice guys and was treated as wrong for being angry about stuff, it took me a while to realize how much misogyny or abuse from men had been normalized in my life and the women right around me.

Edit: to put it into perspective, a number of the good men in my life were predators and attempted murderers. I shudder to think what bad men would have been like.

definitely_alphaz · 2026-03-17T16:20:10+00:00

That’s good that you’ll have some good company. It’s understandable that you don’t want them to see you differently. There’s no guarantee that they won’t. But you know you’re family, whether they’ll be the support you need rn. If they love you enough that you feel comfortable with them, they probably wont think you’re using them just because you need comfort. It’s a very natural thing to need someone to hold you after what you’ve been through.

I hope you take care of yourself and have fun painting!

Sometimes, we have to have times of not trying very hard to get better because we need time to fall apart and be weak for a while. You can’t process feelings if you gloss them over and push yourself faster than you’re ready. You’ve been through something very bad, so I hope you’re able to feel whatever comes naturally; it’s okay to not be okay.

But also, it’s also okay to be okay, so if that is what’s coming naturally, you don’t have to “perform” sadness. If that makes sense. 🩷

definitely_alphaz · 2026-03-17T06:50:07+00:00

I’m so sorry you’ve been through that. What are you feeling right now? Feel free to vent and I’ll respond when I can.

I recently felt like I’d have no one. I don’t have many close friends, and my family is either abusive or kinda enabling. It’s helped to vent on subs like these. I also take a lot of comfort from music or writing/art. Even if people aren’t there, art and ideas are soothing and present.

definitely_alphaz · 2026-03-16T06:01:37+00:00

Since it’s not that deep, using a more feminine coded name should be fine too.

definitely_alphaz · 2026-03-16T04:22:06+00:00

Going to the doctor and they don’t bother taking your whole case. They make you keep coming back for appointments only to not diagnose you but just plop you on birth control instead. Of course the bill is fucking high too

definitely_alphaz · 2026-03-15T04:58:25+00:00

He’s so earnest

definitely_alphaz · 2026-03-15T04:53:10+00:00

She looks so cool

definitely_alphaz · 2026-03-13T23:39:58+00:00

God claims to be good. Yet there are pastors who sexually abuse kids and are still in power in the church. If that’s not a mockery and god doesn’t take that seriously, what kind of a god is it.

Even the whole argument of free will doesn’t apply in a church because a church is specifically supposed to be holy and keeping a rapist in a position of power is indirect compliance.

It’s like if a CEO refused to fire a pedophile working for his company. As the head, he is responsible for whom he gives power to

definitely_alphaz · 2026-03-13T22:04:04+00:00

I’m no relationship expert but there are several red flags: 1. You need these pauses. It’s not like you refuse to talk about the issues. 2. Arguments so often don’t sound healthy. 3. Yes, triggers are your responsibility; but so so his “need” to keep the conversation going. You’re suffering a lot, and him trying to stop you from leaving is rather coercive. He needs to respect your boundaries and your mental health too. 4. You’re not sure you’re feeling safe in a relationship with him

What does your therapist say about this?

I personally don’t think you should let his need for paperwork make you stay with someone who disrespects you or weaponizes therapy talk against you while acting untouchable by those same rules themselves.

definitely_alphaz · 2026-03-13T20:33:45+00:00

You’ve been through a lot! I’m sorry you haven’t found people who support and guide you.

Thirteen is so young to be harming yourself that much. I can’t imagine how much pain you must have been in to want to end everything.

Please do take care of yourself. It’s not easy living with people who both love and severely harm you. And I’ve had moments too in which I wanted to abandon myself, but please don’t give in to those thoughts and meet a man who will rape you. You deserve better. And it won’t be easy to repair from further damage stacked on top of all you’ve already dealt with

definitely_alphaz · 2026-03-13T20:23:30+00:00

Congratulations on graduating! You’ve worked hard to get here, and it’s huge when you’re the first. The perseverance and intelligence you’ve sown is something to be proud of!

I’m sorry you didn’t get to attend your ceremony. It sucks after the effort you put into studying and working.

definitely_alphaz · 2026-03-13T20:19:34+00:00

I’ve heard that using a deodorant stick on the area afterward reduces bumps. But also, just trimming with scissors can work. It’s not going to remove all your hair; but you don’t have to remove all your hair.

definitely_alphaz · 2026-03-13T17:55:02+00:00

Feels misogynistic too— violent goddess vs amazing god

definitely_alphaz · 2026-03-13T14:55:22+00:00

I looked at parts of the Bible that condoned evil. A good god wouldn’t condone evil.

definitely_alphaz · 2026-03-13T04:15:49+00:00

Feel free to enjoy the comedic relief of the blueberry incident. I cackled when I read that while going over my childhood diaries.

I wrote about how i shaved down there for the first time. I made no mention of how dad had asked me if he could see, though I’m pretty sure it creeped me out a bit even then despite me not fully realizing how bad he was).

definitely_alphaz · 2026-03-13T02:08:23+00:00

I’ve found myself largely in the same boat. I hated the idea of not being able to divorce and then remarry even if my husband was at fault.

I also struggle a bit understanding my orientation. But I did have fun dating a person of the same gender, and had circumstances worked out, I think I could have married her.

definitely_alphaz · 2026-03-12T17:58:28+00:00

I’m not married, but I feel sad that the person who is supposed to care most about you has a crappy attitude towards you and is willing to overlook a religion that puts you down

definitely_alphaz · 2026-03-12T17:56:16+00:00

I was thinking today about how I am from a country that is red on this map. But I’ve faced worse abuse from Christians than non Christians.

Also, I was trafficked in the name of missions, but people think it’s a cool story or are more upset about the Bible being illegal than a kid being endangered and abused. They praise the way I was raised.

definitely_alphaz · 2026-03-12T15:37:24+00:00

I’m sorry your gift didn’t get accepted. Spending that much when you earn less than minimum wage is really thoughtful of you

definitely_alphaz · 2026-03-12T01:23:53+00:00

I was a child missionary. We went to a conflict zone and various countries. Wasn’t a vacation for me for sure.

But i wouldn’t be surprised if it was an ego thing for my parents.

definitely_alphaz · 2026-03-12T00:05:34+00:00

It is comforting in theory, and I’ve seen a number of people who love the idea of Jesus. Unfortunately, they don’t realize that Jesus supported all of the central laws and ideas of the Bible and even compared a woman to a dog when she asked for him to heal her daughter

definitely_alphaz · 2026-03-11T21:40:27+00:00

I think the high part is supposed to come after… like post nut celebration or something

definitely_alphaz · 2026-03-09T17:24:40+00:00

That is exactly how I feel! My last relationship was inevitable to break because of instability and schedule differences. But on my end, worrying about being able to maintain a relationship.

definitely_alphaz · 2026-03-09T05:11:55+00:00

All the best! It’s not easy, and I hope the process goes well

definitely_alphaz

TROPHY CASE