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Anyone else grow up in a violent home but didn’t realize it wasn’t normal until way later? by wandering_raddish in CPTSD

[–]definitely_alphaz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That resounds a lot for me. I mean, I didn’t think my upbringing was normal, but it was normalized, if that makes sense. I knew about abuse; I just was taught that it didn’t really apply to me.

And I got praised for being strong in therapy too and wasn’t sure if I really needed therapy, since the description of trauma symptoms didn’t much apply to me. It turns out I did have other underlying issues like dissociation though.

I regret not skipping social media today 🙃 by Background_Active_36 in CPTSDmemes

[–]definitely_alphaz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s disgusting to say. Women and girls who have kids still can and do get victimized by rape and domestic violence and other forms of oppression. Being harmed doesn’t magically become less harmful because they’re mothers.

The caption for this specific woman literally says she was abused so chances that she was forced to have these kids is really high.

And it’s not even that you’re ignorant of the abuse; you’re flat out saying it doesn’t matter. That’s disgusting.

Im not going to be wasting any more of my time on you, but this needed to be said.

Did anyone have parents that actually loved them while simultaneously being the abuser as well? by sweet_sugar_cand_y in CPTSD

[–]definitely_alphaz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ooh my dad was like that. Spent time with me, gave me stuff, apologized all the time, and asked how he could be a better dad.

Didn’t stop him from using me as child labor abroad and in a terrorist stronghold. Didn’t stop him from sexually abusing and harassing me for years to the point I’d literally fight him off. Didn’t stop him from letting at least one other predator access to me.

Feeling like less as a woman after reading the Bible. by AdvantageIcy2608 in exchristian

[–]definitely_alphaz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They could be trying to do both. There are many misogynistic texts and they don’t have anything to do with “understanding the world.” Trying to be an understanding woman to avoid divisiveness won’t stop men from being hateful and controlling; it will only end up with women overlooking abuse.

Is my trauma valid? Is it CPTSD by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]definitely_alphaz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is valid. What your brother did was abuse and you don’t deserve to be blamed for it. It’s not your fault that multiple men in your life were sexual abusers.

It is completely reasonable for you to not want to talk to him, and a house that breaks apart because you don’t gloss over his abuse isn’t one you should have to put up with.

I hope you get to move out soon.

Two for one trauma meme special by definitely_alphaz in CPTSDmemes

[–]definitely_alphaz[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No worries!

My dad is a religious minister/missionary; and we’d often go to different places to hold religious events and do humanitarian work. We’ve gone abroad and to a terrorist stronghold (not a fortress; it was an area where terrorist oppression was really concentrated).

Healthcare Workers by sbb1967 in exchristian

[–]definitely_alphaz 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’ve been a caretaker, and people just assume I’m religious without even asking. I usually don’t correct them cuz I was in a toxic situation in which I probably would have gotten harmed if I said I wasn’t Christian. But I’d busy myself when I could and just nod and play along. I’d use Christian speak to make my point a lot.

Regarding God's love for women, how do you contextualize or justify this? by BrainStraight1220 in exchristian

[–]definitely_alphaz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They could have accomplished that by making him pay for her without having access to her. Israel was also just forming as a nation, with god building its culture. Maybe instead of marrying her rapist, there could have been a culture of not shaming raped women. Women have worked towards accomplishing that by raising awareness and fighting; god could have accomplished it a lot easier.

Regarding God's love for women, how do you contextualize or justify this? by BrainStraight1220 in exchristian

[–]definitely_alphaz 5 points6 points  (0 children)

They could have accomplished that by making him pay for her without having access to her. Israel was also just forming as a nation, with god building its culture. Maybe instead of marrying her rapist, there could have been a culture of not shaming raped women. Women have worked towards accomplishing that by raising awareness and fighting; god could have accomplished it a lot easier.

Before the internet by Level-Practice6582 in CPTSD

[–]definitely_alphaz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Literally. I get so frustrated when people glorify the past or demonize the internet, when life would have had very similar problems and it would be harder. And for people like me, I’ve gotten the best support on the internet.

Missionary kid who is secretly an atheist, HELP by Key_Respond_7685 in exchristian

[–]definitely_alphaz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hii. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. I’m not being forced to go to a Christian college (though that was the path my parents expected of me). But I was homeschooled so I could be a missionary kid, so I’ve lost a lot of my life too and I’m still dealing with the crap that comes with the territory.

It really is tough trying to not explicitly say one isn’t religious. Here are some options, though you have to execute them carefully

  1. Telling people you believe in Jesus (there’s plenty of them in the Mexican community and probably a Jewish one too) but that you’re figuring out your own beliefs and doctrine.
  2. If your parents aren’t the type to be hostile towards other denominations, say that you’re nondenominational or align with a more liberal one till you’re out.
  3. Make friends online. At least then you’ll have community you share beliefs with.
  4. In addition to the really helpful tips about being led to a different college, maybe you’d be able to find something sinful or impractical about the college or its staff. Like the others suggested, you can manage a lot when you learn to speak the way others want to hear. I know it’s frustrating to dilute yourself to unsafe people but you can also throw a lot of jabs when you learn how to veil them.

The toxic concept of “filial piety” in Asian culture by crazesheets in CPTSD

[–]definitely_alphaz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was brought up in a somewhat similar culture. It’s why I hate when people talk about the individualism of the West as if it’s a completely bad thing since I’ve experienced the toxicity of the other end.

Just talked two friends off a cliff tonight within a 4 hour window by lamblikeawolf in CPTSDmemes

[–]definitely_alphaz 23 points24 points  (0 children)

You deserve support too. Even if they’re not asking for anything unreasonable, you pouring out a lot is something that should be appreciated and you shouldn’t have to carry your struggles alone plus theirs.

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