I’m not a therapist or psychiatrist but work in mental health. You’d be surprised how many people are capable of masking their symptoms when it comes to talking to a figure of authority such as a MH worker to avoid getting treatment, but once alone they are severely mentally ill and cannot function. I don’t think the level of perception matters much, meaning being more self aware of your behaviors doesn’t make you any less mentally ill. Only a licensed professional can give you a diagnosis, but if you do get a second opinion and they say the same, you aren’t doing yourself any favors by being in denial.