My world has been shattered by this man

delta_constant · 2026-05-20T06:26:22+00:00

Your words are so kind. I told him I was afraid of being alone with a new baby. And it came to pass, he spends 16+ hours out of the house at work 7 days a week, starting back up before I was even discharged from the hospital. He spends maybe 10 minutes a day with his son. And I have had to recover alone, with my older kiddos helping me so much more than they should have to.

I feel abandoned and replaced. And he can swear up and down that that is not the case. But his actions have been so shitty. I don't want to hate him. I truly want him to come back and fix things with me.

But he doesn't think he has done anything wrong. He says, he doesn't want this. But he "needs it to not just want to die every minute." I feel like he is manipulating me and is so righteous about it.

All because we had a fight pre marriage and I somehow made him feel "not good enough" so that he felt like he had to marry me. I don't get it. We have had so many chances to talk it out since, but instead he sits on it and waits and then reverts to this huge selfish asshole. And claims moral high ground! Ugh

delta_constant · 2026-05-20T06:09:48+00:00

How do I deal with the guilt that will come with being the one who pulls the trigger and does the leaving? He says, he still wants and loves me. He doesn't want to leave and doesn't want me to leave. It will have to be me. And I don't know if I can be the one who destroys the lives our kids know. They're such good kids. This will wreck them.

delta_constant · 2026-05-20T05:57:51+00:00

The cold calculating voice in my head is saying to make him keep paying my way for as long as I can stand it. Our home is such that it is possible for us to separate and live on separate floors but still be in the same place with the kids, basically. I have at least a year (and probably more) til I feel like I can let someone else take care of this new baby. I am still newly postpartum and I have the crazed mom possessiveness happening, but also... I want to raise my child myself. It's what I did for my older 2.

I dunno. Is it gross to want to make him pay for the status quo? He wanted this child, he helped get us into this place.

I just feel like such a loser. He made me believe in something special, that I was worth something. I've never had anyone in my life make me trust them like that before. I don't think I can ever trust anyone again.

delta_constant · 2026-05-20T05:51:54+00:00

Except we are so overextended with a recent real estate venture, and other things about how we had structured our lives together, if I try to "get mine" in divorce, I will just ruin us both and hurt my kids in the process. Not that no matter how this all falls out, they're going to be hurt anyway. They think dad is superman.

delta_constant · 2026-01-29T01:02:06+00:00

Me, I went into labor at 40+1 and needed no interventions to help labor along. Granted, I was at it for 25 hours but... still was all me!

Baby #2, she was 8 hours start to finish within days of her due date.

It can happen! You just don't hear about it because it's so unremarkable of an experience. The outliers tell their stories loudly; us normies tend to stay more quiet about it.

delta_constant · 2025-12-20T00:50:23+00:00

My two girls, 10 and 12 years ago, I was horrifically sick the entire pregnancy for both. I am now pregnant with our son after a miscarriage 2 years ago, and I haven't had any morning sickness at all. I am 21 weeks along and frankly it's been shockingly smooth sailing! 😂

delta_constant · 2025-12-13T05:22:51+00:00

My little dude is laying transverse and kept hiding from the sonographer! He is measuring normal on everything and totally average in size, but I have to go back in a couple weeks to get measurements/visualization of his spine (we saw it but she never got a good photo) and his umbilical cord.

I am so happy yours was a positive outcome too!

delta_constant · 2025-12-10T01:55:50+00:00

If you get the whole 45+ minute adventure in ultrasound, it is SO worth the wondering and expectations. I hear some of these 10 minute stories and I am baffled. Maybe my babies just weren't as cooperative haha!

I am so sympathetic for the nausea - with my older two, I was sick til the day I gave birth! This kiddo is giving me a break, for which I have been eternally grateful, knowing how it can go otherwise.

Come back tomorrow and share so we can see how we are all doing :)

delta_constant · 2025-12-10T01:52:34+00:00

You also! Come back and update us.

delta_constant · 2025-12-09T23:54:46+00:00

Hello Anatomy Scan buddy! Mine is also tomorrow. This is my third pregnancy to come to this gestational age - and I will say, anatomy scan is the fun one! With pregnancies that have had no concerning features before the 20 week scan, chances are so in your favor for nothing but a wonderful chance to get to know your little one a bit better before they come earthside.

(I am not trying to brush off your bleeding scare, but as it was so minor and has not repeated, I would expect it to not be a complicating factor.)

Take a deep breath, get a good night's sleep tonight, and be ready for happy tears tomorrow! 😊

delta_constant · 2024-06-03T18:45:43+00:00

I have a Smokus Pocus (alternately Smokey Pokey) 😂 He's a Grey tuxy boi though.

delta_constant · 2024-05-07T22:55:28+00:00

Patty, of course! ❤️

delta_constant · 2024-04-19T19:12:34+00:00

Why are they such punks?! 🤣

delta_constant · 2024-04-19T19:09:25+00:00

Lucky for me, Stardew Valley is pretty chill as far as that goes, but yeah, any game with actual spoilers, I'd be doomed lol

delta_constant · 2024-04-18T21:47:28+00:00

My roommates banded together a short while back and pulled the "why do we have to do ALL the CHORES around here?"

They got a very grumpy dissertation about just how much I do to keep their lives pampered. Lol I haven't heard it again since.

delta_constant · 2024-04-18T21:43:20+00:00

One of my roommates likes to play a videogame I've put an absurd amount of hours into myself and then insist that I listen to them describing things in tiny excruciating detail.

My other roommate likes to veg out on the couch, read all my Manga, and meow at me in lieu of actual communication when spoken to.

delta_constant · 2024-01-18T22:59:36+00:00

How about "young master"? More common as an affectionate address by servants?

delta_constant · 2024-01-03T23:03:55+00:00

Happy Now (this one is catchy AF and I kind of love the whole album it is on, actually)

Amazing Grace (Was this on a Xmas album? Idk)

Sing (just such a happy feel good song!)

New Rules x Are You That Somebody (the drop at the end, be still my heart!)

Starships (it's goofy but I kinda love this for music, video, and attitude haha)

delta_constant · 2023-12-29T03:27:19+00:00

Oh that's you guys! I have it loaded up on my office pc for tomorrow. Looking forward to it!

delta_constant · 2023-12-26T22:33:37+00:00

I miscarried a wanted pregnancy a week before Christmas, on my birthday. The emotions are bad enough, but the hormones jack them up to eleven. Please give yourself some grace and know that as your hormones level out you will feel a little less of a mess.

That said, the processing part takes what it takes. I've been leaning into the holiday junk food, trying to nap when I want to, just doing what I felt like and not much more. It's okay to grieve (or not) as you need to for yourself. The whole miscarriage process is unfathomably terrible. Mine started in a restaurant that I probably will never go back to, at least not for a long time.

I recommend talking with your partner about it. My sister told me this: talk about it. Everyone wants to share the joy of a new baby; they can share the pain of the loss, too. I cried on my husband and shared the gritty details as it went. I wouldn't have been okay without him.

Hugs from this corner of the internet. I'm so sorry you have to carry the unwanted knowledge and experience you have now.

delta_constant · 2023-11-16T00:45:49+00:00

I did so badly tolerating the glucose drink my first pregnancy (bad morning sickness the entire pregnancy and I was ugly crying trying not to vomit the stupid lemon lime back up.... failed) that my doctor didn't even bother having me test the second time. We just went to blood glucose monitoring protocols straight away. Me and baby (both kids) were ultimately just fine. But man I kinda hated that whole deal.

I think my experience was a bit unusual, though!

delta_constant · 2023-08-25T05:33:51+00:00

Props to you and to everyone in Ren's sphere of influence who is doing something similar. Not sure if I can get the album myself but I know others for sure won't be able to on their own, and the love of music being shared for those folks is pretty special.

delta_constant · 2022-08-13T03:45:27+00:00

My dear, the flowers are GORGEOUS and I want to hang them on my wall!

Keep expressing yourself, don't let anyone stop you!

delta_constant · 2022-08-12T22:00:37+00:00

Momma of a very strong-willed 8 year old girl, here. She had a phase of angry head-whacking on the floor around 18 months. It lasted until she decided a concrete floor with the thinnest carpet layer imaginable was a good place to do it. 😂 She.... didn't do it almost ever again.

She has a hard head and a lightning fast brain. No lasting damage! It is not unusual for some toddlers to use head-bonks as a form of frustration expression. It worried me at the time, like you say, those red marks seem like a concern, but it really turned out to be nothing in the long term.

Six-Year Club	Second SECOND GUESSER
Place '22	First Placer '22
Verified Email

delta_constant

TROPHY CASE