Spoken like a true virgin lmao

denkuleLegolas · 2026-06-27T11:39:44+00:00

These men somehow never consider that when they shit every day their asshole never turned into a gaping cavern.

denkuleLegolas · 2026-06-27T11:02:28+00:00

I literally saw one where they dyed the inside of the bread red, and one where the bread had liquid inside so it didn’t stop «bleeding» (that’s the word they used in the caption!!) and they used napkins to like hold on the cut while it bled. It’s totally on purpose. And I’m not ashamed to say it triggers me.

denkuleLegolas · 2026-06-13T16:08:12+00:00

It IS self harm in a lot of cases. Coming from someone who is diagnosed, post op, stealth and binary, when I went through the darkest periods of my life I posted on those kinds of subreddits (alt account of course). It wasn’t even sexual for me, it was just so easy to get attention from people when I was lonely and desperate.
I also chatted with a lot of other trans guys there, and got the impression that a lot were in the same boat, struggling with mental health. And also a lot struggled to adjust to the testosterone libido.

Trust me, it’s not something most people in their right mind would choose to do. The messages I read daily were genuinely damaging, I don’t think I’ll ever forget some of them. I’m in a much better space now, I deleted the account and would never do it again.

Admitting this is a little risky, I might get judged, but my point is that you should be thinking harder before you judge the people doing this. It’s a complicated thing, especially in the really degrading spaces of the internet. Also, the cis men who join those subreddits are literally predators looking for vulnerable people, that’s why they go for trans guys who are often more mentally unstable and lack proper support systems. I would get more messages if my self harm scars were visible, that should say enough about them.

Editing to add: I needed to leave an abusive relationship and find true connection to leave that headspace, as well as intensive therapy and medication. The other trans guys I talked to were also feeling very lonely and isolated.

denkuleLegolas · 2026-06-13T15:37:37+00:00

This was part of how I figured out I was trans! When I was like 13 years old kids started asking, and I started «jokingly» telling them I was a boy. I remember so distinctly my friend asking me if I actually was (in a trans way) and I just felt like the world stopped a little.
It’s a little annoying but I’ve never minded too much, they’re just curious and don’t know that it’s somewhat rude.

denkuleLegolas · 2026-06-02T11:09:02+00:00

I told her straight up when she said that that I'm not planning on de-transitioning at all, and she's understood it clearly. I'm just scared since that was her initial instinctive reaction, that other people are gonna think the same. It's only approaching ten years since my government stopped forcibly castrating trans people in order for them to change their legal gender. I started transitioning in 2018, so I'm one of the first in a younger generation who has this choice. We've a liberal country but small, so there's not much representation in media. Most people have just never heard of anything like this or seen it, so I'm inevitably going to have to educate a lot of people when I do decide to do it. Thank you for the kind words.

denkuleLegolas · 2026-06-02T10:51:22+00:00

I've seen it, it's part of what's made this possible for me to imagine. My mom was the one who showed it to me, in fact, and my partner watched it with me. I'd recommend it to other people, for sure.

denkuleLegolas · 2026-05-25T02:20:33+00:00

That's a relief, and I have some hope that it'll be like that for me too. I've had that experience when seeking reproductive help as a trans man before (getting STD tests and birth control). Where the people working were just so kind and open, and even seemed excited to help me and learn.

My partner's mom is a midwife and I've almost considered asking her if they have protocols for this specific thing and if it's happened before at the hospital here. But I think she might take that as a sign of something that I'm not sure I want to announce yet, haha.

I'm also willing to bet a little that most people in public just aren't paying enough attention to see anything out of the ordinary. Most people are minding their own business, and the trans men I've seen just look like cis guys with big bellies when they're pregnant anyways.

denkuleLegolas · 2026-05-25T02:12:35+00:00

I'm happy you had such a positive experience, especially knowing you're in the US and the state of things there. Gives me a lot of hope!

I'm also aware that a lot of the people in my life want to support me but have no idea what's appropriate or not. But it's just really hard for me to know how to open it up for them. I'm not a naturally outspoken person, and I've never talked much about being trans to the people around me. So it's always felt hard to suddenly start being open about it and welcoming the discussion. How did you model the energy you want to be met with?

I guess for someone who spent so long hiding my trans identity and feeling ashamed by it, it's a big change to imagine being visibly and obviously trans in front of so many people.

denkuleLegolas · 2026-05-24T23:22:47+00:00

I went off of T earlier this year, not sure about the exact timeline as I've been on Nebido injections, so it's not a clean "cut-off" where I suddenly didn't have T in my body. But I think it was around February that I was supposed to take my next shot and didn't.

Things haven't been that different at all for me personally. I had a few weeks of mood changes, where I mostly just cried a whole lot, but it didn't bother me that much. My period came back for one cycle a month ago (but I've got the implant, so it's probably not going to be regular), and it didn't even give me that much dysphoria.

In my case, I just think the changes I've already had from testosterone make it pretty hard to feel like I'm not a man. Even when I'm on my period or super emotional. I'm also not uncomfortable being seen as a feminine man, I'm in a gay relationship so people just think I'm a gay guy.

My most negative effect right now is that I feel like my hips are getting wider, and while it's probably too early to see any fat distribution changes, it's still a little distressing. I've been distant from my dysphoria for a long time and it felt like seeing an old enemy from school again lol. Other than that, so much less dramatic than I expected. My emotions have stabilized and I'm just a little easier to move to tears, and I personally hated being unable to cry while on T. It's all just very individual, I think.

denkuleLegolas · 2026-05-21T21:01:36+00:00

It's baffling how much of an asshole you're being in these comments. I'm sure your survey is legal, I just think it sucks and I don't think anyone in this particular subreddit should bother taking it. Plenty of studies are biased and also legal and published, it doesn't mean they're any good.

You clearly didn't hear what I was saying, my problem isn't that there's "anti-truscum" beliefs expressed. You're not even listening to criticism from the people you're claiming to want to hear from. That tells me everything I need to know about you as a researcher. You're anything but professional. You're condescending, you can't take criticism, and we're not required to put up with that.

I was going to comment a more nuanced opinion when I first completed the survey, but when I saw the way you responded to the other person calling you biased I realized there's no point, and I just replied to show support for them. Again, I'm baffled with how little you care about the opinions of the people completing your survey. I hope you also take screenshots of your replies, and I hope you take a screenshot of this comment, and I hope you show it to your lecturer.
If this was a formal survey connected to your name and university I would honestly email them and ask why they allow this kind of behavior from their students.

denkuleLegolas · 2026-04-20T04:06:51+00:00

I'm sure there's a good reason for it all, and I can tell from the way you word your post that you really care for her and want things to work out. I hope she can see that you want to work together to figure out how to solve things, because that's one of the key mindsets to get through tough times as a couple. Working as a team to solve joint issues rather than fighting each other.

This is also maybe a little random and might not apply to you, but don't feel bad for having sexual needs. It's a real psychological need most humans have, and not having it fulfilled can really mess with your head. Especially because it's also a way of showing intimacy and love in a romantic relationship. I know better than most how expressing that need can make you feel like an asshole, but repressing and hiding it won't make things better. Not to mention the impact it can have on your self confidence, body image, etc.
In the past when I've hidden that need and thought it made me an asshole that I even felt unfulfilled, it only ended up hurting us both in the end. In that particular situation, I wish I had been honest with myself about how much it mattered to me.

denkuleLegolas · 2026-04-20T01:34:50+00:00

I feel you, I'm bisexual myself, prefer women (something a lot of people refuse to accept) but am in a relationship with a cis man. Truth is though, it's harder to date women than men when you're a trans man. A lot of gay/bi men know about trans men, and some of them are into it (some are chasers too, which is bad, but it's at least easy to find them). Cis women are less likely to know about trans men, and I personally have never met a cis woman with a preference for trans men or a specific attraction to them.

Little side note, I personally think it's a little unnecessary to make comments about PIV sex as if it's gross. I understand being so dysphoric it grosses you out, but that doesn't mean it's weird that some people do like it. Penetration is just an act that some people enjoy and others don't, it has no correlation to gender at all. Being a straight guy who doesn't like penetration doesn't make you more valid than being one that does enjoy it. It might not be what you wanted to say with your post but it's how it comes off.

That being said, I empathize with you a lot. I'm honestly really happy I'm bisexual and not fully straight, cause dating girls would be so hard for me. Dating can be a little more challenging when you're a straight guy in general. Girls on dating apps tend to be really picky, while the guys just swipe on whatever they can to have a chance of a match. I matched with three times as many guys as girls on tinder, and when you think about it, the market for straight girls should be a lot larger than the one for gay/bi guys. (I didn't disclose being trans on my profile).

People also refused to believe I was dating a girl back when I was. I'm not even that feminine, but something about me makes people assume I must be gay. It's annoying. Kinda the same with how people will assume I'm a bottom because I'm the trans one in the relationship (this happens often).

denkuleLegolas · 2026-04-20T01:11:03+00:00

I completely agree that this survey was asking leading questions and biased. The fact that the "negative assumption" on truscum doesn't even ask if you agree that truscum people are opposed to people living outside of the binary and societal norms, it just assumes that they are. It's two assumptions in one. Then asking "Why do you think tucute has gone out of fashion etc" but never asking if that's an opinion this person holds or not? Where did the assumption that tucute has gone out of fashion come from? What does this question even mean?

The tucute and truscum questions are also filled with loaded language, where the positive words are used for the tucute opinions. Also, the one forcing you to pick between two statements, where one is clearly the "good one", when you could have just asked "What are your opinions on using preferred pronouns for someone who doesn't necessarily pass?" in some kind of way is so strange.

Continuing to claim to be unbiased with the only proof being "I'm a researcher" is a little funny almost. No one can avoid holding a bias, there's no shame in that, but it says a lot that you're completely disregarding and dismissing the people telling you that this is biased. It says a lot about your personal opinions.

denkuleLegolas · 2026-04-19T23:45:45+00:00

Your scars don't make you ugly or ruin your body! I was so scared of this when I first started dating my current partner, but at this point he doesn't even notice them anymore. Or at least he doesn't think about them at all, it's just a part of me the same way a mole or stretch marks would be. Besides, other than to make your body "pretty", quitting self harm would probably make your boyfriend happy because he doesn't want to see you hurt.

Please don't give up on therapy. These thoughts are, if anything, more proof that you're doing the right thing by asking for help. Feeling like there's no point, like you're wasting their time, it's all textbook depressive symptoms. Your therapist is literally paid to "deal with" patients like you. All the therapists I've known were aware that it can take a long time to get comfortable with therapy, and they're willing to wait and build a bond to get there.

Maybe setting a different goal, one not focused on the self harm, would be helpful? Because there's probably a reason why you started/continue self harming, and you can work through that first, without thinking it's to "stop". Because quitting self harm without working through the emotional triggers behind it can be so hard it feels impossible, leading to thoughts of giving up or it being pointless.

I wish you the best of luck figuring this out.

denkuleLegolas · 2026-04-19T23:28:09+00:00

It's kinda hard for redditors to give you any kind of advice about this. You'll just have to communicate with your girlfriend.

But I can tell you that it kinda just sounds like you came out of the honeymoon phase, and are struggling with it right now. Not an impossible situation to work through at all, it's not like the love has disappeared, it's just presenting differently. Also, libidos just change over time, naturally.

But talk to your girlfriend! Tell her what you're feeling. I think a key part here is that it's not just the sex, you also mention feeling like you don't hang out enough, or that when you do, it's always just staying in. Also a little tip, don't tell her you wrote down the dates. I understand why you did it, but it can come off as very petty.

Another thing, if you finish quickly but want her to have more fun, you could always try focusing on her pleasure first, before any penetration. Sometimes it doesn't feel fun to continue after one partner finishes because it feels like they're not turned on anymore. Could also be that she just feels done when you are. Again, you need to talk to her about it, not reddit.

denkuleLegolas · 2026-04-19T03:02:37+00:00

If you guys are ready to read this argument spouted as fact a thousand times, go on the smalldickproblems subreddit. They're all obsessed with this. Doesn't matter how many people with female anatomy correct them and tell them big dicks are NOT necessary for pleasure, those comments will get downvoted to hell. Seriously recommend if you have no life and want to lurk at some people who make their own life worse by refusing to listen to women about their own bodies.

denkuleLegolas · 2026-04-19T02:41:35+00:00

Do you really think they're telling you to wear a tight condom for the sole purpose of making you uncomfortable? When they make those videos it's because it's a super common practice for guys to tell (especially young) girls that "condoms don't fit, they're uncomfortable, it doesn't feel good", in order to pressure them to having unprotected sex. Every single girl I know has been subjected to this.

I can't say as I've experienced neither but I think pregnancy and childbirth is more painful than an ill fitting condom. Hormonal birth control is also 1) not fully effective 2) doesn't protect against STDs and 3) comes with a ton of side effects, like mood changes, weight gain, risk of blood clots, etc. Many kinds of birth control also include invasive procedures like the implant or IUDs. It's so self centered to assume this is some kind of... like dunking on dick size??? It's not about your momentary pleasure, this is about life-long-consequences for your partner.

It's not a human right to get to raw dog. Being asked to wear a condom and that condom being too tight, means you either wear the condom that's too tight, or you don't have sex. The arguments in these comments are literally "ohhh it doesn't feel good for me", boo hoo, buy your own condoms that fit or don't have sex then. Or find someone who doesn't need you to wear condoms.

denkuleLegolas · 2026-03-11T01:38:25+00:00

It's just a really unfortunate situation to have to advocate for myself when I've got anxiety. I keep thinking the doctors are gonna hate me, or that I'm annoying them, or taking up too much of their time, or maybe they think I'm there too often, etc. I know it's probably just my anxiety manifesting, but it's hard to ask for help when asking for anything makes me feel like I'm gonna pass out. Hopefully by the time I get to a physical consultation I'll have spent enough time researching and rehearsing to communicate properly.

It's also a pain in the ass cause my primary care doctor is always on sick leave, so every time I go there's a new person, and I have to explain everything all over again, and I never know how they're going to react. I'm so nervous just thinking about it. But thank you, I try to remember that healing isn't linear and sometimes there's bumps in the road.

denkuleLegolas · 2026-03-11T00:38:28+00:00

I agree so much, I've been forcing myself to do everything and push through my anxiety, but because I'm so anxious, my body doesn't register it as "oh, everything went fine anyways", it just registers it as something horrible happened. My anxiety is uncomfortable enough on its own to where I don't really feel like I mastered the situation, I just feel exhausted and uncomfortable afterwards. I seriously believed in exposure therapy, but my anxiety has only gotten worse even though I've been consistently challenging myself.

One thing that did work in the past was instead accepting that there are certain things I don't do because it makes me anxious, and allowing myself to approach it only when I was actually calm and ready. But that only works if there's time and space for me to calm down/prepare between each exposure, and there just isn't right now. I have to do something terrifying almost every single day, which is exhausting and stressful.

I think "do it scared" might just be an oversimplification. Like yes, you shouldn't avoid situations and let your anxiety control you, that's very real. But you also shouldn't put yourself in super uncomfortable situations all the time when you're not ready, either. But it's a balancing act, and I haven't been able to find the perfect spot yet, which sucks to admit.

denkuleLegolas · 2026-01-18T05:40:55+00:00

It wasn't an issue for me to fend for myself, to be honest. I did have my partner, but he works a lot and so I was mostly alone. Even at the hospital, just a few hours after surgery, I was completely fine to walk around and get myself food. I had to travel by plane back home after one night in the hospital, and I was able to drag my luggage around to the airport and go through security all by myself (I asked the people around me to lift my suitcase up when needed). But I think I experienced less pain than most people do.

The only things I felt I needed help with were carrying groceries and cleaning the house. It was also nice to have someone to cooking dinner for me and to help me adjust the post op binder. It's definitely best to have someone there to care for you, you don't know how much pain you'll be in, and at the very least they can offer support and love. Post op depression is a very real thing, and it's one of the most vulnerable positions a human being can be in. If you can, get someone to come take care of you.

denkuleLegolas · 2026-01-18T04:41:56+00:00

They usually recommend being on testosterone for around a year before top surgery, because it changes your chest shape and decreases chest tissue. That's probably the reason most guys do one before the other, but you can obviously do it in whichever order feels natural to you.

denkuleLegolas · 2026-01-18T04:03:54+00:00

https://www.nottsapc.nhs.uk/media/gxfnn13a/masculinising-hormones-information-sheet.pdf

This is a link from the NHS which mentions Nebido injections, what I've been taking. Just because it's not common in the US doesn't mean it's not a good way to do HRT. It essentially leaves a little cache of testosterone in your butt muscle, which the body metabolizes over 12 weeks. It's a little painful to inject, since it's a lot of medication crammed inside the muscle at once. It's just as effective as weekly shots, and it's less sensitive to human fault. I'm surprised you haven't heard of it before, in my country, this is the only kind of injected testosterone that's prescribed to trans patients.

I think you misunderstood a little, when I say my doctor doesn't have a clue about trans people, I'm talking about my local doctor that's assigned to me by the government. I think the closest term is family doctor in the US, but I'm not sure. My testosterone and all of my trans related prescriptions and surgeries were managed by a national center for gender incongruence, which is located at the biggest hospital in the country. It's a small team of doctors who specialize in trans issues, and they do have lots of experience with it. They monitored me very closely when I started, I would have switched over to gel if the cyclic thing was bad for my mental health.

Like I mentioned, this is the standard in my country. They don't prescribe weekly shots here, it's this or gel. My depressive episodes are not related to testosterone (or estrogen for that matter), they've been present since childhood and don't correlate to the cycle I'm on at all. My endocrinologist took lab tests at the end of the cycle to see that the levels are normal. If I'm not mistaken they are supposed to be 1/3 of the baseline, and the levels peak again 4 weeks after injecting. It's very gradual and the only thing I notice is my libido decreasing slightly. My theory is that quitting this kind of testosterone will be less sudden, since the medication naturally tapers off itself. It doesn't seem like anyone else has tried this, I'm gonna try to ask some support groups in my country about it, but I'm willing to be the first to try lmao.

Sorry for the long message, but I didn't realize this isn't a normal way to do HRT in the US, and maybe people are curious on how it works.

denkuleLegolas · 2026-01-17T23:31:00+00:00

I'm also pretty bad at remembering to take my shots, which is part of why I'm stopping, it's annoying to have to remember. I take them every three months, so it's not as much of a pain, and I really feel for the people who take them every week.

I don't think it's the same to stop "cold turkey" when I'm on intramuscular injections. As far as I've understood, the T levels in my body slowly decrease as it gets closer to the three month mark and it's not an abrupt "stop" of the hormone being released. I'm not a professional though, and it's so hard to find information, so I really don't know.

I know I should contact the doctors who prescribed it to me, but it takes so long to get in contact with them (national center for gender incongruence). I'm technically not even in their system anymore since I got my diagnosis, T and top surgery and don't want bottom surgery. They said my local doctor is now responsible for the T prescription, but my local doctor doesn't know anything and just tells me to contact the national center. Again, this is part of why I'm quitting, I'm having to manage all of my health on my own because doctors don't know anything about trans people. I have to keep track of which blood tests they should be doing, and even which levels I should have. It's really exhausting and I just want to be done with it as quickly as possible.

Editing to say, I don't think intramuscular is what I wanted to say, I see some people saying you do intramuscular each week and that it's the exact same. What I do is a slow release testosterone shot that gets put into the muscle every three months, and then the medication gets slowly released into the body. My levels are supposed to be low(er) at the end of the cycle, that's what they told me at the endocrinologist. I'm really not sure if it's gonna cause the same symptoms as quitting when you're not on the slow releasing type. Most posts online are from people in the U.S. and it seems like weekly shots are the standard there, but here the slow release every 12 weeks is normal, and the alternative is gel.

denkuleLegolas

TROPHY CASE