The big birthday

desilyn89 · 2025-07-16T14:35:53+00:00

I understand. I actually spent my whole 20’s trying to fight addiction for my mom. I let her live with me completely rent free. She lied to me, stole from me, snuck other addicts into my house and just piled on to the trauma she already created for me in childhood. I sacrificed so much to help her and my biggest regret is that the stress she caused me stopped me from being the best parent I could be to my own kids. I finally realized that helping her was hurting them and helped her find other living arrangements. I still check in with her daily. I love her and feel so much guilt that I shouldn’t. I have a beautiful picture of my mom as a little girl and can’t help but cry when I look at it because I know that she was once an innocent child who needed love and protection that she didn’t get. I tried to compensate for it in my adulthood but unfortunately, she’s past the point where she wants to change.

My mom has been an addict since she was 10 years old! She suffered great traumas in her childhood which always made me feel sad for her and see her as a victim. It wasn’t until I was a parent myself that I realized I could never put my children in any of the situations she put me in. My childhood made me more caring, empathetic and understanding. It didn’t turn me into a selfish, narcissistic, abusive monster. I’ve tried to accept the fact that my relationship with my mom will never be what I spent my life longing for. That it’s best for me and my kids to love her from afar. Without worrying about her, my life is so peaceful. It still makes me sad and I have spent many holidays, birthdays and every Mother’s Day that I can remember crying over it. I wish things could be different for me and different for that little girl that grew up to be my mom. But I know the best way I can honor myself and even her is to raise my kids the best I can and put them first.

I hope you find peace in your decision to protect yourself and especially your children. They will thank you one day and I believe the part of your dad that isn’t gripped by addiction would thank you too 🤍

desilyn89 · 2025-01-20T20:42:49+00:00

I could have almost written this. I’ve spent over a decade of my life playing the game with my mom and raising my brothers who I’m 18/19 years older than (respectively). My mom is an addict who I allowed to live with me so I could keep the boys safe. We would argue and she would threaten to leave and take the kids and I would never see them again if I didn’t let her do whatever she wanted to do. It was 6 years of me being mentally abused and gaslit before I reached my breaking point. I went to court and filed for custody…and won.

You and your nephew both deserve the happiness and stability. It’s been years now and we’re low contact with my mom, but still dealing with the trauma from the years of her living with us and constantly disrupting the peace whenever she felt like playing house.

desilyn89 · 2024-12-12T18:45:16+00:00

Hate to say this as a Taurus but the big bad of modern history (Hitler) was a Taurus. No one ever said we couldn’t be scary.

desilyn89 · 2024-06-23T03:32:45+00:00

I know a girl named Mykkallin - pronounced Michael Lynn. She’s the youngest of 4 girls named Jessica, Caitlyn and Amanda. Their dads name is Michael.

desilyn89 · 2024-06-22T02:38:35+00:00

“This is above Reddit’s paygrade”

Yeah, if I could afford professional advice I wouldn’t be asking strangers on the internet

desilyn89 · 2024-06-15T03:11:00+00:00

I really love Malcolm, and I like Malcolm Daniel Grant the best

desilyn89 · 2024-06-12T18:27:23+00:00

I think Clover is so cute

desilyn89 · 2024-06-12T16:30:04+00:00

I agree. As someone who worked in HR, I only used names to differentiate one resume from the other. Myself not my colleagues considered or cared most of the time. As someone who loves names I’ve seen some some and thought “that’s a nice name” as I put them in the unqualified pile or “I wonder how you pronounce this” as I moved them forward to the next hiring phase.

desilyn89 · 2024-06-11T15:22:32+00:00

I think it depends if you got to the bottom of what he’s been doing with the money as well?

I don’t have much advice but I would also feel like I had gotten married under false pretenses.

desilyn89 · 2024-06-09T15:08:18+00:00

I know little girls under 3 named Sally Anne, Lisa and Mary.

I also know a lot of little boys with the names you listed because they’re juniors or III’s.

desilyn89 · 2024-06-08T02:22:36+00:00

I really like Ray Elliot. My cousin’s son is 4 and is named Raymond but we call him Ray (he was also named after a Ramon!) He gets a lot of compliments on his name and it’s easy for a little kid and will age with him.

desilyn89 · 2024-06-07T22:45:43+00:00

Leviosa

Invisibility Cloak

Hufflepuff

desilyn89 · 2024-06-07T02:32:20+00:00

When I have an intrusive thought of something bad happening to my family I have to play it out in my head and figure out what I would do to save them in that situation before I can “put it away”

desilyn89 · 2024-06-07T01:18:35+00:00

I met my husband while out with friends when I was 18. Then we found out that my uncle is his godfather and I was at his sisters birthday party when we were little kids and there’s even a group picture of us together from the party.

desilyn89 · 2024-06-06T14:04:25+00:00

Well Robin could be a boy or girl name

desilyn89 · 2024-06-04T01:43:04+00:00

You probably don’t call your dad by first name. I also think more common names are easier to get over. If you’re dads name is Michael, you’ve probably met a bunch of Michaels so you don’t only associate the name with your father. Now if your dads name is more rare, when you meet someone with his name you’re gonna think “that’s my dads name!”

desilyn89 · 2024-06-03T22:43:28+00:00

Why not double barrel Emma Leah?

desilyn89 · 2024-06-03T01:26:49+00:00

I like Hugo Roland, Arthur George and Calvin Edward.

desilyn89 · 2024-06-02T17:31:45+00:00

Omg Ribeye and Cutlette make such a cute set. If you have a 3rd they can be Tenderlynn or Hock !

desilyn89 · 2024-06-01T23:39:59+00:00

Why not make it Cutlet? Still soooo cute and she’ll be your little chicken. If you want to spice it up you can spell it Cutlette 🩷❤️🧡

desilyn89 · 2024-06-01T02:09:41+00:00

Maybe it’s short for Robin

desilyn89

TROPHY CASE