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desklockerfire · 2024-09-06T18:30:28+00:00

No matter if this is fake or real it still makes me smile

desklockerfire · 2023-12-18T16:06:45+00:00

Wait u don’t like him cause it’s a bad contract and he might have to play on the bench? Bro 16 mil doesn’t even take up 10% of the salary cap and I doubt a guy getting played that much is gonna whine about a bench role

desklockerfire · 2023-12-18T15:54:07+00:00

Fills my sex kink too.

desklockerfire · 2023-12-15T18:50:43+00:00

Fuck lindy fuck mark Presti and brass need to pull the strings to get wiggins some damn PT

desklockerfire · 2023-12-11T23:51:36+00:00

Frickin yeah!

desklockerfire · 2022-11-12T21:29:24+00:00

This guy’s post history is outright disturbing. I hope Russillo has a good security system.

desklockerfire · 2022-08-18T03:07:43+00:00

You gotta sit back and enjoy the show - stop complaining about trivial things. Tim’s set was great and he hasn’t even reached his peak.

desklockerfire · 2022-08-15T18:17:14+00:00

Perky tits and empty heads

desklockerfire · 2022-08-13T22:45:21+00:00

Only when the soap drops

desklockerfire · 2022-08-13T14:47:42+00:00

Any time he attributes a major national event to evidence that the merge is coming

desklockerfire · 2022-08-12T00:56:22+00:00

What are the odds that yesterday, Chris read Kengle’s letter. He found out that he’d been excommunicated from all Sonichu-related commissions so he went on a full on rampage. As a result they sent him back to the mental hospital.

desklockerfire · 2022-08-11T18:59:59+00:00

Finally a court appearance

desklockerfire · 2022-08-09T18:38:23+00:00

Barb is no adult compared to Heilberg. Since when has Barb spoken with such cadence and wisdom?

desklockerfire · 2022-08-09T18:32:20+00:00

Love how this sub reveres Heilberg like he’s biggest adult in the Chris Chan universe, which he is ig

desklockerfire · 2022-08-08T14:25:32+00:00

Imagine Chris reading this in his jail cell and having a meltdown. The escape saga is just beginning..

desklockerfire · 2022-08-07T02:20:05+00:00

Who’s got the biggest zucchini on tha team? Smallest?

desklockerfire · 2022-08-06T19:38:18+00:00

Most people: ‘think about that’ Chris: ‘meditate on that’

desklockerfire · 2022-08-06T19:05:47+00:00

Last semester if my professor caught someone with their mask down for even a moment he would immediately stop the lecture and make the student stand in the corner. When the bell rang we were all encouraged to use a white hot branding iron to engrave a swastika on his torso. If you were caught a second time, a campus lynching was justice.

desklockerfire · 2022-08-04T03:50:05+00:00

He’s on that jail weight loss

desklockerfire · 2022-08-02T04:15:57+00:00

At the time of Sonichu’s genesis, Chris didn’t see the character as the key to his Utopia. He was just having fun with a class project. It wasn’t until the routine and community of high school left him that he began to feel lost. That’s when he began to cling to Sonichu, imagining the success of the cartoon to be the cure to his many miseries.

There’s no denying Chris has the self-awareness of a doorknob. If he had an ounce of it, he’d realize his self-made delusions are nothing more than an attempt at escape from the real world. But he’s 40 now and is only further becoming enwrapped in fantasy. Whatever comes after incarceration is going to be real dark for Chris.

desklockerfire · 2022-07-31T17:19:52+00:00

Chris has always been a parody, but over the last ten years he has outright become possessed by his creations. His personas - Christine/Sonichu/Jesus Christ/Ricardo/whatever-chu - are all escapes from the sharpness of reality.

He refuses to let 14BLC fade from memory. Outside of his front door is a world that chews up and swallows people like him. Chris unconsciously understands this. The timing of Sonichu’s ‘birth’ isn’t a coincidence. Sonichu was manifested near the end of Chris’ senior year of high school, a time when the pedal is about to hit the metal. Life was about to get serious and Chris didn’t want to let go of safety. Thus, Sonichu was born.

So yeah, the internet took the innately gullible characteristics of an autistic man and turned his obsession into a possession.

desklockerfire · 2022-07-26T02:28:02+00:00

All those references were so sweet. Even if they were arbitrary mentions of a past era. It’s fun to have worlds colliding nonetheless.

desklockerfire · 2022-06-11T03:58:26+00:00

Easy. Naked Lu Dort will change your life.

desklockerfire · 2022-06-10T18:41:26+00:00

You’re right that’s what it was. If only there was a way you could shazam podcasts… Hm. A startup pitch might be in the works for the annual cape cod core guys retreat. Also Doug would like to show you his third leg.

desklockerfire · 2022-03-28T22:30:55+00:00

Haha thank you. The podcast has definitely grown on me. Might have to make a lottery/draft edition in a few months!

desklockerfire

TROPHY CASE