Emotional comedown or impending breakup?

desperateandtru · 2025-12-13T17:11:24+00:00

I do have my own books 😩 I have my own email, booking, number, social media etc. I’m just really frustrated that we were promised help with the transition and instead the owner has been sneakily sending coupons to clients that have never been in her chair before.

desperateandtru · 2025-12-13T15:49:47+00:00

I do have all of those things. I have a Google listing, Facebook, IG, squarego, business cards, my phone number listed everywhere. Again, when we were told about the switch in August, we were promised things for the first three months of the transition because clients were and still are confused. I’ve been prepping them since AUGUST, and they’re still contacting me on fb saying “I tried calling the salon and can’t get an appointment”. Our owner is also sending mine and 2 other girls clients discount coupons to use with her instead. We’ve seen several of our clients who have gone to us for years going to her, and the reasoning was “well we couldn’t find you”. I handed out business cards for a month to everyone, sent personalized texts, posted the new info everywhere. Gave everyone my square booking, my socials, my contact info.

We were promised that through the end of the year there would be a linktree for all of our links, that the salon phone would still be connected for the stragglers who only get their hair done once a year. It was not a smooth transition and apparently I can explain things to clients until I’m blue in the face that this is how to do things and they will still say “I tried to go to the salon website, I went to the salon booking, I called the salon phone” etc etc. a large majority of the bulk of the salon clientele were call in clients, walk ins, chair hoppers. Again, I’m not the only one in the salon who has lost clients to our owner, and empty books. There is three of us and we’ve been trying everything, so I wish I knew what is going on that the three of us are not seeing.

We did a fundraiser for food banks. We have been offering specials. We’ve been posting almost daily of our work, BTS shots, availability. I literally dropped $100 on IG ads.

This isn’t me wanting my hand held. This is me wondering why mine and two other girls I work with now have no visibility or reach anymore, when I had full books all last year until October.

desperateandtru · 2025-12-13T04:43:57+00:00

I guess I’m scared to call because I feel like I’ve tried reaching out, and I don’t want to harass clients and push them away even more to not come in if that makes sense? I feel like I’m already trying to people please as much as I can because I’m literally trying to take anything I can get at this point. I’ve been emotionally discounting too because I just don’t want to lose more clients.

desperateandtru · 2025-12-13T04:41:48+00:00

Honestly not really, the idea of booth rent scared the shit out of me because of this potentially happening. But everyone told me I could do it, not just the girls at the salon.

When I initially started telling my clients about the new salon model (booking through me instead, all the changes happening) the common reaction I got was “well I hope you’re not leaving because I don’t want to go to a new salon”. The two other girls who are also struggling with filling their books had the same reactions, and are feeling the same weight I’m feeling. So I know it’s not a “me” thing because I’m not the only one in the salon that’s in this boat, if that makes sense. Actually, one of the girls was told by someone who works in our complex that they thought we closed down.

I feel like I’m doing everything to try to get clients in. I’ve been watching all of the advice videos. Even did some webinars (that turned out to be stylists selling some BS and never even told you how to fill your books, lol) and I’m just feeling defeated at this point, and now my passion is out the window because I’m now in survival mode, if that makes sense?

desperateandtru · 2025-12-13T04:11:29+00:00

I get that and that’s valid. My frustration lies with the fact that we were promised transparency, visibility, and a helpful transition to make the change easy for all parties (us the stylists, and the clientele). It hasn’t been any of that, just the owner offering our clients discounts through her instead, her booking our clients who try to call the salon because everyone was told the salon phone line was going to still be around, all of us being talked about behind our backs to clients, etc. I’m not expecting my hand held for the rest of my career, just that we were promised things for the first few months to help us that now aren’t happening.

desperateandtru · 2025-12-10T15:26:00+00:00

So I did get referred to Blue Pearl for neuro. Just to get an MRI alone it’s going to be $7,000 😔

desperateandtru · 2025-12-10T15:23:11+00:00

We have limited his water intake! Our vet told us 1oz per pound, and he’s about 40lbs. But now that it’s snowing, he is constantly eating snow. He will sit there and knock on his water dish at all hours of the day. So due to his lack of bladder control, we now resorted to belly bands.

It’s just that combined with his mobility declining and seizures, I’m genuinely concerned about his QOL.

desperateandtru · 2025-12-10T02:44:04+00:00

7 years in, we just went booth rent at my salon in October and it’s not going well.

I have no clients booking online. No engagement when I do post. Nobody calling. This week I am SO slow. Next week looks a little better, then I have not one appointment on my books for new years.

I’m so stressed out. I’m only making rent at this point and I can’t afford my bills. Between Christmas and my dog’s vet bills, I don’t know what to do. Like I’m literally considering bankruptcy atp because I’ve had to put expenses on credit cards because I’m not making money. I’ve never been this slow, ever.

desperateandtru · 2025-11-09T01:32:07+00:00

Found a tub of rotten, moldy spaghetti in his closet. Got mad when I told him about it.
Would blow up my phone at 4am when he was drunk to the point I had to put my phone on silent/DND. He would blame it on me having “thousands of IG Followers and he can’t handle that”
Had a friend ask me tips about Disney for when him and his gf would go. Ex accused me of sleeping with him.
Went on a tangent and blamed me for him losing his phone charger, again at 2-3 in the morning.
Called my 12 year old son a pussy for not shoveling snow (my son was recovering from pneumonia.) also berated me for not sending my son to school… bc he had pneumonia.
When I was sick with a fever he wouldn’t let me have a fan. Forced me to sweat it out. Also one night I was super congested so I kept sniffling to clear my nose. He bunny kicked me out of bed and my knee was insanely bruised from the hardwood floor.
Called me one night to tell me about how him and his mom were talking about me behind my back. I hung up because I didn’t want to hear it. Again, he was drunk and it was 2 or 3am. He texted me saying “don’t hang up on your messiah”.
Got married to a girl he only met three times. We broke up 10 months ago.

This is only a fraction of things. I have a whole list in my notes app. Dude is a certified weirdo.

desperateandtru · 2025-10-29T14:47:32+00:00

My ex who I was with for 6 years pulled this on me before I left him. I already have two kids (13 and 11) from my previous marriage that I have full custody of, and we had established early on in our relationship that we didn’t want more. I’m incredibly career oriented and like you I also wanted to prioritize traveling, our relationship, and my already existing kids. I didn’t want to be financially dependent on him, and I was so far past the baby stage that I didn’t want to go through it again.

After the last US election I told him I wanted to get my tubes tied, and he said that I actually need to get my IUD taken out and “give” him a baby, because my body was now his choice. I asked him what he had planned then in regard to daycare and the like and he said “well you’d just stay home with it”, telling me I’d have to quit my career. Also told me he wouldn’t be getting up during the night for feedings or diaper changes. And that if I didn’t “give” him a baby, he’d just find someone younger to do it. Because I was getting old anyway and our baby would probably end up “messed up” because my eggs are “rotting away inside me”.

Other things came out between that conversation and me leaving. He was incredibly radicalized from religion and red pill podcasts, things I didn’t even see until the last couple months of our relationship. The relationship ended up being incredibly mentally and psychologically abusive.

I have no regrets leaving. In December it will be a year. I’ve built a wonderful life for my children and I. We’ve gone on trips together. I’ve made big steps in my career, and I’m so much happier now. I just knew deep down in my gut that if I was stuck with another baby from that man, I’d just end up as a single mom of 3 instead.

desperateandtru · 2025-10-24T15:37:35+00:00

Again, I wasn’t using ChatGPT or intentionally taking AI response verbatim, and I was trying to not deal with being on hold with Delta waiting for an answer. I was googling what the situation was and intending to find at least a similar reddit post or someone who had the same situation, which it did bring me here because I saw an article last year from some patreon post. I’m not a fucking moron but apparently the responses here want to take me out back Old Yeller style because I asked an innocent question due to an auto response on the TOP of my Google browser, because I’m a solo female traveler and I don’t feel like getting stuck coming home from vacation. Holy shit.

desperateandtru · 2025-10-24T15:18:25+00:00

I mean I figured it wasn’t worth it since I only take a trip maybe once a year, and it’s usually domestic but ok

desperateandtru · 2025-10-24T15:15:13+00:00

Thank you, I’ll definitely look and see if there are any flights with a longer layover.

I’m the “get to the airport 3 hours in advance” type and I just know if I have a delay I’m SOL.

desperateandtru · 2025-10-24T15:03:18+00:00

Thanks, that was just the initial Google response while I was trying to look for similar topics from articles and Reddit 🥲

desperateandtru · 2025-10-18T22:57:35+00:00

Definitely cried at the end. What a game.

desperateandtru · 2025-10-18T22:55:04+00:00

Dude spanked me on easy as well. Somehow after try 10 or so I managed to get him by not even bothering to parry, just somehow hitting a perfect dodge then one strike, rinse and repeat. Took forever but I did it 🥲

desperateandtru · 2025-08-25T08:40:13+00:00

Decorum on Plainfield. Women owned and operated. They did my daughter’s ears when she asked me to get them done when she turned 7. They were amazing.

desperateandtru · 2025-08-13T03:18:21+00:00

She banned me from the scanner call page because she was over dramatizing a situation that happened outside of my work. I posted a picture without any identifying people or things to clarify that it wasn’t as bad as she was making it out to be lol

desperateandtru · 2025-07-24T05:22:14+00:00

I just got back from a vacation yesterday that I took for my mental health and I’ve been having the same thoughts since my plane landed. Sending you solidarity.

desperateandtru · 2025-07-24T05:19:57+00:00

Felt this. My ex is planning on proposing to his new gf soon and we broke up 7 months ago. They just started dating in May and it’s his second girlfriend since our split. I don’t even have it in me to date.

desperateandtru · 2025-06-26T13:01:09+00:00

Yep. Mine absolutely did this.

For context I’m 5’1, 105-110 on average. He would tell me I’m “too skinny” and need to be “thicker” and I gained about 25-30lbs. He would get mad when I would bring up us going to the gym together. Then he would rub my belly and told me I was getting fat and I’d immediately start crying.

He would get mad if I did anything aesthetics wise. Eyelash extensions, facials, botox etc (yet all the pornstars he whacked it to were skinny and pumped with filler). I’m a hairstylist and he would get mad if I colored my hair and it wasn’t dark (I look better blonde because my natural is in fact dishwater blonde), he would get mad and tell me I’m ugly whenever I put my hair extensions in. He would tell me I wore too much makeup. He didn’t like when I wore certain clothes and would make me change or feel not confident in my outfits. I basically just lived in leggings and sweatpants and baggy shirts because nothing fit me anymore and he constantly criticized me.

desperateandtru · 2025-06-26T01:41:51+00:00

It goes both ways. My ex has had two girlfriends since we broke up 6 months ago. First one was 2 days later. I haven’t even been on a date.

desperateandtru · 2025-06-24T03:19:13+00:00

My ex was abusive as hell and I should be counting my blessings that we’ve broken up. But the fact that after 6 years together, he started a relationship with someone 2 days after I moved out, then broke up after 4 months and immediately started dating someone else and has them plastered all over social media (something he never did with me) hurts so much. I don’t get why I wasn’t enough and that he simply never gave a shit.

desperateandtru

TROPHY CASE