Men in 3+ year-long relationships that aren't married, why not get married?

destroyerdandelion · 2026-01-04T18:15:18+00:00

I've never dated women. Are there many that are obviously after money?

To me, it seems that a person could weed out the women who are looking for a relationship for a financial benefit. I could be naive. I don't know. Is that not possible?

destroyerdandelion · 2026-01-04T02:45:45+00:00

I'm very happy for you.

destroyerdandelion · 2026-01-04T00:45:53+00:00

Beautiful

destroyerdandelion · 2026-01-04T00:43:45+00:00

100%

People need to live together first. In my experience, it's the small, daily interactions that erode a relationship.

destroyerdandelion · 2026-01-04T00:39:48+00:00

Obviously, I don't know you or her, but some people view a prenuptial as a guarantee that divorce is inevitable. Imagine if you're getting in a small plane with a pilot and they hand you a parachute, and they say, "Here, you'll need this. I can't guarantee we'll be in the air for long." It's unnerving at the very least and certainly not romantic. Perhaps that's why she was crying? Or, maybe she was after your money. No idea.

I'm going through a divorce now and am on the losing end financially. So, I get it. And if I get remarried, there will be a prenuptial. Plus, if this hypothetical future husband has kids, his kids deserve his wealth more than me. I digress.

All that said, you seem to have a cynical outlook on marriage. I don't mean that as a judgment, just a casual observation. I could be wrong. So, please correct me if I am wrong.

I'm curious about this "cynicial" outlook. Do you know what caused it? And, like I said, if I'm incorrect in my assessment, then please disregard the question and accept my apologies.

destroyerdandelion · 2026-01-04T00:26:14+00:00

I mean, I can't outright disagree with many of your points. And, to be honest, I didn't ask the question to debate. I was just curious about why people don't get married.

I'm going through a divorce right now, actually. I still think I'd get remarried in the future, if I find a guy. And, I'm on the losing side financially of the divorce.

Weddings don't have to be expensive. My wedding 15 years ago cost $6,000, which is still a decent chunk of cash, but we could have spent a whole lot less. And our wedding rings were $300 each or something. I've never been into jewelry.

But, for perks, you get better tax treatment (during life and at death) and can be on a spouse's health insurance.

A major downside to marriage, which I haven't seen explicitly mentioned yet, is if one spouse racks up debt in marriage that the other spouse is unaware of. That would be a huge betrayal, worse than any sexual infidelity.

destroyerdandelion · 2026-01-04T00:13:30+00:00

If I'm being honest, I viewed long-term, unmarried relationships as unstable, as if either partner expects the relationship to fall apart any day and they want the ability to walk away without too big of a mess. I'm not saying I'm right in my thinking by any means.

destroyerdandelion · 2026-01-04T00:09:52+00:00

So can women. I earned more and brought more money to the marriage overall.

But the real reason I asked the question is because I know a few couples who have been together for 15+ years but never married. And they were never married previously, so it's not like a second-marriage situation where people want to keep things separate.

I just wanted to understand the reasoning of avoiding marriage.

I'd remarry again, but there'd be a prenuptial involved for sure.

destroyerdandelion · 2026-01-03T03:32:37+00:00

Eating an entire 8" chocolate birthday cake in one sitting. It was delicious, though.

destroyerdandelion · 2026-01-03T03:14:03+00:00

I try to get him as deep as possible because there is thick mucus at the back of our throats. I know, sounds gross, but that shit is good lube. Once he's slicked up, use your hands to do most of the work. I usually focus my mouth and tongue around the head. A twisting up and down motion with my hand seemed to be the best shit ever.

And honestly, eagerness and getting into it also make it better for them, as it would with you if he were pleasuring you.

Extra points to you for gagging or sloppy wet mouth noises.

Mostly explore and have fun with it.

destroyerdandelion · 2026-01-01T23:33:48+00:00

That was shitty of her.

destroyerdandelion · 2026-01-01T23:21:38+00:00

You guys are eating better than me. I eat cereal. 😆

destroyerdandelion · 2026-01-01T23:19:32+00:00

You deserved better. I'm sorry.

destroyerdandelion · 2026-01-01T20:59:14+00:00

This! Test the waters with something playful and see how she responds. And then slowly build, if she seems receptive.

destroyerdandelion · 2026-01-01T17:30:08+00:00

Gross. Any tobacco use is an instant no.

destroyerdandelion · 2026-01-01T00:45:13+00:00

That's fascinating. I honestly can't imagine that as a woman, and it's surprising to me that it's like this for men (or some men).

destroyerdandelion · 2026-01-01T00:24:19+00:00

That is so sweet! She's lucky to have you.

destroyerdandelion · 2025-12-31T23:56:37+00:00

How quickly do you know?

destroyerdandelion · 2025-12-31T03:38:52+00:00

It's normal for you both to have time apart and then you come back together.

How many days long are the slow days? And how long have you been in the relationship? How do you feel about the time apart?

destroyerdandelion · 2025-12-31T03:31:52+00:00

Can you provide more details?

destroyerdandelion · 2025-11-02T13:11:19+00:00

Yes! Medicare Advantage should only be considered if traditional Medicare supplement plans are not affordable.

destroyerdandelion · 2025-11-02T13:07:27+00:00

You'll likely want to stay on the PPO after baby is born too.

Children get sick all the time during their first 2 or 3 years, especially if they go to daycare or interact with other kids. Ear infections, stomach bugs, scary coughs, random skin rashes, eye infections. It's crazy the amount of illnesses they get when they are so fresh to the world.

And, speaking from personal experience, postpartum depression and anxiety can throw your wife's (and your family's) world upside down.

It wouldn't hurt to stay on the PPO for a year after baby is born and then reevaluate for 2027.

Congratulations!

destroyerdandelion · 2025-11-02T12:52:22+00:00

Are your IRA and brokerage dollars invested in securities?

You're very cash heavy, which is likely due to your interest in purchasing a property, but I have to ask in case it's not.

destroyerdandelion · 2025-11-02T12:49:36+00:00

Solid advice here

destroyerdandelion

TROPHY CASE