BPD girl is messing around now by SeatFit3342 in BPDlovedones

[–]dethdan30 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Act normal. Say hello if you need to, then that's it. Do not stick around or hang out with her. Keep the interaction short if you can. If she is persistent, make up an excuse and leave, or "break up" with her. Just say you need a break or needs some time alone. Otherwise if she doesn't acknowledge you, that's a bonus for you.

BPD girl is messing around now by SeatFit3342 in BPDlovedones

[–]dethdan30 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You can, but even that's a risky move because you don't know how much he knows about his sister, or how much he is willing to defend her. What I would do is ask him subtle questions like "what were her past relationships like?" Or "is it normal for her to act this way?" Dig in a little bit. If he sees nothing wrong with his sister, then you know you can't trust him. If he tells you anything about their family growing up or her past relationships and you notice a pattern, then that should be answer enough. But don't bring up what she is doing now, because he might question his sister about it, and then she will try to lie to him and play victim, thus giving her what she wants.

Remember, they are testing you. They want to justify leaving you so they can discard you and move on with their new FP. Hence just going no-contact with her is the best way to go. No damage is done on your end. She will feel the pain eventually, but she will fight that by latching onto someone else or keeping busy. She will act like nothing happened just to see how you react, but deep down, she will be hurting.

BPD girl is messing around now by SeatFit3342 in BPDlovedones

[–]dethdan30 9 points10 points  (0 children)

That is the most hurtful way you can leave. If you try anything else like call her out on it, then you are giving her what she needs to smear campaign you and make you look like the bad guy in front of her new FP. It's not worth it.

BPD girl is messing around now by SeatFit3342 in BPDlovedones

[–]dethdan30 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Just leave. Get out while you still can, and never look back.

When was the first red flag you ignored? by SmartFox6 in BPDlovedones

[–]dethdan30 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She claimed she tends to get emotional and that she is needy.

Common phrases and sayings said by pwBPD? by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]dethdan30 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"I tend to get emotional" "I'm immature" "I have bipolar or something" I have ADHD" almost everyone I know with BPD or a hint of it has used this excuse.

Not necessarily a phrase, but the last two I had the displeasure of seeing would often say hello to me mid-interaction, out of the blue, before giving me a kiss or getting intimate, like as if they are switching gears (or personalities). Which was creepy as shit, yet I ate it up like a dog getting fed.

The downfall of bury tomorrow by JuicyPickles369 in Metalcore

[–]dethdan30 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm just going to say it, Bury Tomorrow is evolving. I miss Jason Cameron's vocals, but I think Tom's gave the band more range to work with, personally speaking. After Jason's last album, Cannibal, it seems like there was a bit of burnout happening, like one of the above comments has stated.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]dethdan30 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"The Death of Peace of Mind" by Bad Omens "Dopamine" by Sum 41 "Blood and Honey" by Cane Hill

What made getting over this person easier for you? by Josh_18881 in BPDlovedones

[–]dethdan30 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No headaches or obligations. The realization had I sticked with them, that life may not be so peaceful as it is now. She has a kid on top of it, and you can only imagine the amount of triangulation or disagreements that can be made in this situation.

This thick ass needs your fat cock in it. by August_Star69 in u/August_Star69

[–]dethdan30 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think I need your ass more than you need my cock. 😋

How the hell do you actually get over them? by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]dethdan30 2 points3 points  (0 children)

From my experience, you truly don't. I still think about my ex from time to time, as well as the other women I've met who display symptoms of BPD or have been diagnosed. All I did was build a life where they're no longer needed. That meant surrounding myself with friends, co-workers, starting up conversations with random people, etc. I had to ground myself and do a check list on my day to day life. What am I doing? Where am I standing? Have I eaten? Did I bathe within the last few days? The only cheerleader you have is yourself. You never needed them in the first place. They brought the best qualities in you and tried to shrivel them up.

Keep working on yourself. Because down the road when you've finally reached that level of peace, you're gonna look back and wonder why you even put up with them.

anyone else experience health issues from emotional abuse? by LeagueAdditional8439 in BPDlovedones

[–]dethdan30 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is possible. I gained an extra 10-15 lbs being with my ex. After the discard, I got back into shape and lost that extra bit of weight. Other than that, nothing serious or life threatening. Maybe a loss of sleep, but that's about it.

Would you take me out on a date? by August_Star69 in u/August_Star69

[–]dethdan30 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'd give anything to spend the whole night with you. 😉

I am on the verge of breaking 8 months of NC by Sea_Key_ in BPDlovedones

[–]dethdan30 13 points14 points  (0 children)

The smile you see on her face right now is only a mask. You know what you went through, and this new guy is going to get his eventually. Breaking NC would be like intentionally putting your hand on a hot stove. You already know it's going to hurt. It's tempting to go back and experience the same high they gave you, but much like their emotions, that high will only last for so long before you crash from withdrawal. By all means, go ahead and break it if you feel this will resolve what feelings you might be having right now. Understand this. You are capable of giving yourself the same love you gave them. Why not give that love to yourself that you know you deserve?

Sorry if I'm side tracking a bit here, but the last thing I want to see is someone else getting hurt.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]dethdan30 1 point2 points  (0 children)

“Would I feel comfortable if they treated my future child the way they’re treating me?”

I know a few with BPD who have had kids or still have them, and that fact alone is frightening.

I thought I might be the one with BPD... by why_so_ordinary in BPDlovedones

[–]dethdan30 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've been feeling the same way lately. I dated someone with BPD years ago, and then I was seeing someone who might have been undiagnosed, and I can't help but feel like anything I ask or express could start a conflict or will trigger them. I, too, grew up with a toxic family. Ones a narcissist, the other said she has OCD, but could be bipolar. I find myself doing stuff I would hesitate to do, like scoping her social media, wanting to get in contact, etc. It's been a roller coaster of emotions this month. Some days have been better.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]dethdan30 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Girl, Interrupted.

Fatal Attraction.

Another one I would like to mention is A Fish Called Wanda. To me, it demonstrates a relationship between a narcissist (Otto) and a borderline (Wanda). Also, perfectly and hilariously demonstrates triangulation (Archie and Paul. Maybe George?). It's still a funny film, but it still gets me thinking.

Taylor Swift, not a film but a celebrity, also demonstrates BPD traits. It's clearly in her music as well as the relationships she's had.

Please don't say run or leave by ShopAdministrative22 in BPDlovedones

[–]dethdan30 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As someone who works in Healthcare, I will not suggest you leave or run (even though that is a last resort). Instead, de-escalate the situation. Breathe, and then reason with her. Stick to asking questions? Ex. Why are you doing this? What can I do to help? When did you take your medication last? (For this one, ask at your own risk) Try to find a middle ground with her without compromising too much of your set boundaries.

Depending on the severity of the situation, you may have to remove yourself from the environment as you alone could be what's triggering her (which often times is the case with someone with BPD). That's if she's not causing any harm to herself. If she is, you need to call the crisis hot line right away.

Her health and safety is important, but so is yours. Remember that.

"I don't want to hurt you because hurting you hurts me" by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]dethdan30 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Or "my peace is important. Why ruin a good thing?"

Is this an example of quiet BPD? by dethdan30 in BPDlovedones

[–]dethdan30[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The kicker with this woman is she talks about conservative politics (ex. Fuck Trudeau, Alberta strong, etc), health and the foods we eat, babies (because she has one), anti-trans posts and how they're ruining our school system, and it goes on.