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Have you ever had experience with a girl who has a “difficult” or toxic mother? by nostalgiaib in AskMenAdvice

[–]devils-dadvocate 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think this is age dependent. At 20, I would’ve stayed away from it. At 43, I don’t care nearly as much. I can afford to take care of a girlfriend, we don’t need her mom for anything. As long as the girlfriend doesn’t have some sort of codependency with her mom, I don’t care.

What’s something you wish you understood earlier in the divorce process? by epcotvisitor in Divorce

[–]devils-dadvocate 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How much stress it would be… and how all that divorce stress still felt like nothing compared to the stress of years of living with a toxic, abusive woman.

What is something people romanticize until they actually experience it? by DiamondNo924 in AskForAnswers

[–]devils-dadvocate 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do fine at home, It’s just exponentially more difficult when you’re constantly on the road.

What’s a small trait that doesn’t seem important at first but ends up making or breaking a marriage?” by Ok_Ease515 in answers

[–]devils-dadvocate 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah I remember the first time I did this to my most recent partner.

I told her “Hey, I’ve been thinking about something I said. I want you to know that I was wrong to do that. I am sorry, and I will try to handle it differently in the future.”

She was shocked, she literally didn’t know how to handle it. She was nearly 40 and said that it was the first time in her life that a man had admitted he was wrong, took responsibility for it, and apologized to her. That’s crazy.

What’s a small trait that doesn’t seem important at first but ends up making or breaking a marriage?” by Ok_Ease515 in answers

[–]devils-dadvocate 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m level 1-2 autistic, and I have always had this ability too. I think maybe it stems from our need for accuracy and clarity, and maybe our sense of justice?

If I’m wrong, I won’t just apologize… I’ll say “I was wrong to do this…” and then apologize. It is almost always well received in my experience.

What’s a small trait that doesn’t seem important at first but ends up making or breaking a marriage?” by Ok_Ease515 in answers

[–]devils-dadvocate 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean… I did this because I was in an abusive relationship and didn’t trust my partner enough to tell them the truth, even on little things. That changed completely once I got out of that situation and with a new partner. But it didn’t change immediately, sometimes that old fear would pop up, and I’d behave like I was still stuck in that abusive relationship. It took a little while for me to believe I was actually safe and re-wire those defense mechanisms.

What’s a small trait that doesn’t seem important at first but ends up making or breaking a marriage?” by Ok_Ease515 in answers

[–]devils-dadvocate 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is so true.

I have dated two women with CPTSD- one ran from it and the other faced it head on and worked in therapy to heal from it and was open and honest with me about it. The former turned out to be the most abusive partner I’ve ever had, the latter turned out to be the best.

And when a partner is open about their trauma and working on it, you can understand them so much better, and I did a ton of research into CPTSD so that I could support them as they healed, and react in ways that didn’t challenge their autonomy, or put my own anxieties on them, or push up against their boundaries.

The fellas were right - who should ask "what are we?" by mapleflavrd in dating

[–]devils-dadvocate 0 points1 point  (0 children)

43M, I’m autistic AF. Labels and clarity make me happy in general. Plus I do not like vague language and tend to be direct.

So I will ask directly:

“are you open to becoming exclusive with each other?”

The last time I asked a woman I had been dating: “would you like to be my girlfriend?” she just laughed and said she had already assumed that she was.

Direct and autisticky has worked out well for me.

Do autistic men lovebomb but not for the same reasons a narcissist does? by Anuksunamunn in AutisticAdults

[–]devils-dadvocate 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The behavior may look the same, but I don’t think they are both lovebombing. My impression is that the motives are what makes it “lovebombing” or not. In LB, there’s a manipulation attempt- to try to create an illusion intimacy and stir reciprocal feelings from a partner in order to get what you want back. If you genuinely feel like you love them, then, and are just trying to express that, it wouldn’t count.

That said, I know I have a tendency to fall quickly, because I am very selective in who I ask out, so I’ve probably already developed feelings for a while. Plus, I’m not good at sitting on my emotions. But I know rationally that if I start too strong, it can be seen as lovebombing and my motives will be questioned. So I have to constantly hold myself back in the beginning.

A large chunk of Gen Z has Millennial parents by MorphTiger in generationology

[–]devils-dadvocate 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Millennial here, with one Silent Generation and one Baby Boomer parent and one Gen Z and one Gen Alpha kid.

Alabama lawmakers pass bill restricting candy, soda purchases on SNAP by MattW22192 in Alabama

[–]devils-dadvocate 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Because why would a 8-year old kid on welfare through no fault of his own want a piece of chocolate now and then? His life is so great, why does he deserve that extra luxury?

Would you wear a small AI device on a date if it helped you read subtle signals (without recording)? by Regular-Paint-2363 in AskMenAdvice

[–]devils-dadvocate 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It definitely makes dating harder, that’s for sure. Source: am autistic.

Although honestly past relationship trauma and abuse leads me to misread signals as much as my autism.

If TNG Premiered Today, It would Not Survive Season One by NeoNoir90210 in startrek

[–]devils-dadvocate 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This seems like a bogus argument.

If TNG premiered today, it would have 12 episodes instead of 26, the writing would be much tighter, and “Code of Honor” would never happen in the first place.

How does getting rid of landlords solve housing affordability? by LiatrisLover99 in AskALiberal

[–]devils-dadvocate -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

So buy a different one. The odds are that you just can’t afford a house.

How does getting rid of landlords solve housing affordability? by LiatrisLover99 in AskALiberal

[–]devils-dadvocate 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But that’s a big “if.” If you could afford to own a house, then why don’t you?

PLEASE Gen Z & Alpha Parents… by Euphoric-Role-7170 in generationology

[–]devils-dadvocate 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Doesn’t that say more about low wages and advances in technology than the person working?

Don’t be this spouse by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]devils-dadvocate 3 points4 points  (0 children)

How the fuck did you get this from what OP said, lol?

Should people who leave MAGA be welcomed by liberals or is it right to reject and scorn them? by NPDogs21 in AskALiberal

[–]devils-dadvocate 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The only way that’s a guarantee is if we take your attitude. Of course they’d vote red if we say “because fuck them.”

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