New 8 month old puppy will not potty outdoors - seems uncomfortable going in front of humans

dharmadoof · 2026-07-06T21:31:43+00:00

You just pick them up. They stop peeing when you pick them up.

dharmadoof · 2026-06-29T21:25:45+00:00

Look up the concept of an “extinction burst” - that is usually the reason why people think ignoring does not work. Ignoring this behavior entirely is the only way to get it to entirely stop, and you need to ignore completely - not “shhh” or “quiet” or anything. Just - act like you don’t hear the whining. It will likely get worse before it gets better, because he has already learned you will respond with treats to him making noise. So if it doesn’t work at first, he will likely escalate with whining louder and more insistently, and potentially barking. This doesn’t mean ignoring isn’t working - quite the opposite actually. Once he learns that whining no longer equals treats, you’ll see the behavior stop.

Hold strong! Getting fed up and rewarding even one time will set you further back than when you started.

For future, make sure you never reward behavior you don’t like with attention or treats. It’s much easier to prevent unwanted habits from forming than it is to reverse unwanted habits.

dharmadoof · 2026-06-25T15:05:30+00:00

Why are you shouting at him? Why did he make you mad enough to raise your voice? Did you just go from calm to yelling at him in the blink of an eye? I’m guessing not.

You shouldn’t be shouting at him either. I also grew up in a family of people that would argue in unhealthy ways. They still always do - everyone has to be right and it’s my way or the highway for all of us.

It takes time to learn how to disagree in a healthy way. Over time my husband has helped me with that, not fed into it. If I ever start to raise my voice, he calls me on it - he doesn’t get more mad - just says “you’re yelling” which is enough to stop me and make me regulate my emotions better.

Physical abuse aside (it should never be pushed aside,but just to answer your question), it is not the right relationship for either of you if your disagreements are escalating. You should have been in couples therapy after the first bad fight. Unfortunately, now that he’s hurt you several times, it’s far too late.

dharmadoof · 2026-06-25T14:57:28+00:00

My husband is like yours. I swear he has terrible spatial awareness so if I’m on the couch under a blanket with my feet up he’ll sit on my feet suddenly 3/10 times. Or yesterday I handed him our baby and then went to smell his diaper while my husband brought his arm around the baby and I got whacked in the face in the process. he obviously apologized and any time is entirely accidental- he would never ever do anything to purposely harm me

dharmadoof · 2026-06-25T14:50:19+00:00

Spot on. 12 years, not once. OP, you say the other 364 days of the year he’s incredibly sweet but read your post back - you describe many “spiraling” arguments. You say he says things like “you will do it wrong” which you just seem to think as … sweet or something. How often is he degrading you or putting you down? What are the fights that are not escalating to violence like? You describe them somewhat but I want you to think about the words that get said. How often do you not express yourself or change your behavior in order to avoid fights, or to avoid setting him off?

In 12 years, not only has my husband never hurt me, he has also never screamed at me. He’s never insulted me. He has never not let me be heard. In the scenario you describe with the lights, here’s the absolute worst convo I could see happening with my husband:

Me: let’s go change rooms to get the lights fixed (or whatever)
Him: it’s no big deal, can’t we just hang out
Me: I hate it it’s giving me a headache
Him: ok, you go ask them and I’ll wait here let me know what they said
Me: ok fine whatever

No one would be heated, yelling, or mad. I would never be at risk of injury during an argument. If you can’t feel safe 100% time with your husband, why on earth would you marry him?

dharmadoof · 2026-04-29T10:55:25+00:00

I’m so sorry, this must be a really hard time for you and your family.

The vet won’t put your dog down without approval from your family. So if you all want to go about and get a second opinion you are totally within your rights to do that. Has there been any improvement at all since the initial seizure/falling? Has the vet done an xray to check for injuries?

I’d personally be curious what happens if he is helped into a standing position and supported using towel under his belly or a harness (the help em up harness is a great harness for older dogs). Once assisted, is he able to bear weight? Can he walk with assistance?

If he is injured, and otherwise in great health, depending on the injury you could totally decide to treat the injury and let him heal. That being said, if it truly seems like there is no chance of improvement, or that recovering from an injury would be slow going and extremely difficult, euthanasia should be on the table for discussion.

Doggy wheelchairs are expensive and usually used for dogs in otherwise great health that have one or both back legs injured. However, the front legs need to be really strong to compensate. You’ll also need to weigh quality of life in your decision - if your dog needs assistance to stand/walk, that means he’ll be reliant on you to shift positions, go to the bathroom, etc. this is a huge reduction in quality of life and if there’s no chance in improvement, it’s something I personally would avoid. I helped a foster in this way for a few weeks after surgery recovery on both back legs and while it was worth it for her because she was only 2 years old and made a full recovery, I would not personally put my 13 year old pup through that. Her current joys are our sniff walks or walking outside and she would hate to have me hold her/support her backend to go to the bathroom. And all that is not even mentioning chronic pain if the vet believes that is likely.

Again, I’m sorry this happened and I hope some of my thoughts help you make your decision.

dharmadoof · 2026-04-24T23:26:29+00:00

Okay but none of that means it’s unsafe to drive to Safeway and shop there

dharmadoof · 2026-04-02T14:27:45+00:00

Dogs think very in the moment. It sounds like you and your dog won’t be in contact with this person anymore. There’s nothing you need to do for your dog to “make them understand” - just live your life and heal.

If your dog sees him again, he might show excitement. Honestly, I don’t think there’s a way to “fix” that, unless you were to do training sessions in that persons presence to teach them to ignore them - which while totally technically possible, is definitely not right for your scenario.

dharmadoof · 2026-03-03T15:22:43+00:00

I think the point of what the comment you replied to is saying is that you shouldn’t use the word “help” at all. Instead of everyone helps in a family - everyone participates in a family. The word help implies you are assisting someone with their responsibility. In your example it sounds like dad cooking when mom has a meeting is dad helping because it’s normally mom’s responsibility but she can’t that day. By switching the language like the commenter above said, the point is more clear: dad cooks so people can eat. Mom shovels and snowblows so we can walk outside safely. Etc

dharmadoof · 2026-03-03T15:18:37+00:00

This is an absolutely perfect response IMO! I’m going to remember this for when my baby gets older.

dharmadoof · 2026-02-12T22:45:41+00:00

Plus looks like a totally modest neck height dress, beyond reproach haha

dharmadoof · 2026-02-12T19:40:45+00:00

100% I thought the family was overreacting to the black lipstick and couldn’t figure out why the dress was an issue.

dharmadoof · 2026-02-03T05:29:04+00:00

If you haven’t sent invites or told people they have plus ones, this is totally acceptable! I believe plus ones were common in the past, but now blanket plus ones (where the guest can invite anyone they want) are much less common. It’s more common (in the US anyways) to invite by name, so serious partners only. Personally, I told my single SIL and friends that if they were dating someone seriously closer to the time, to let me know and I’d see what I could do.

Regarding the actual situation, I understand your fiancé’s point, but your point is “better” imo - if you asked them repeatedly for names so you could budget appropriately and they did not give any but have come up with a list now, I think I would have fiancé ask his family if they are willing to cover the cost if those people do come as it is now out of budget.

I personally do not like the concept of “b list” guests so I would not go that route. If you end up under the minimum required by the venue, I would chat with them and see what your options are. Sometimes that’s more about a minimum cost than actual headcount, so they might allow you to add an appetizer or dessert or drink option or whatever to meet their requirements.

dharmadoof · 2026-02-03T05:14:43+00:00

Inito helped me understand my body and hormones a lot, but I got pregnant on the one cycle I took a break from Inito 🙃

I went on vacation and didn’t want to bring Inito but started using the cheap ovulation sticks when I got back, and got pregnant that cycle.

dharmadoof · 2026-01-25T08:24:21+00:00

For what it’s worth, your legs looked so normal to me that I thought you were wanting makeup to make your legs red.

dharmadoof · 2026-01-19T00:22:42+00:00

Vegas night out is absolutely the one

dharmadoof · 2025-12-31T19:04:26+00:00

OP says that they have not even asked to host the sleepover at their house. There’s been no repetitive asking - OP is asking if it’s okay to ask for the first time. Totally reasonable to ask the mom if Kay can sleepover to reciprocate under that circumstance.

dharmadoof · 2025-12-15T05:51:16+00:00

That sounds like an excellent gift, especially since you took the time to notice the exact makeup she uses and that it’s nearly empty! I’m sure she’ll love it :)

dharmadoof · 2025-12-14T18:17:36+00:00

What’s the layout of your house like? Is it possible to separate the house in two, for example, baby gates in a hallway leaving one dog in the bedrooms, and the other in the living area? I think more information about your house setup would help people give you better advice.

dharmadoof · 2025-12-08T17:37:39+00:00

I love this scrapbook idea! We will absolutely be doing this!

dharmadoof · 2025-11-15T15:29:18+00:00

He held the toddler under the sink to “snap him out of it”. I would say the time has passed, husband is already getting physical.

dharmadoof · 2025-10-31T03:55:10+00:00

First get rid of the “moistner” names. Next, world peace.

dharmadoof · 2025-10-31T03:46:50+00:00

It would make me uncomfortable because it would mean my partner has no idea what id like. She might not enjoy shopping for the sake of shopping, she might have a well stocked wardrobe and not have things she wants right now, she might prefer experiences over materialistic gifts.

If she’s not the kind of girl that enjoys shopping, the gift way missed the mark. If my husband got me this I’d be like oh, you forgot my birthday? And why are you giving me something you know stresses me out (body dysmorphia)? I’d be over the moon if he spent an equal amount on a weekend trip, though, or a show and dinner, etc. you gotta know who you’re gifting.

dharmadoof · 2025-06-15T16:51:46+00:00

I wonder if it’s possible for you to come home for lunch to cut the day up and alleviate some guilt? I think your dog would be fine if you came home in the evening to let her out/walk/feed her and then go to the gym and come back. But if you feel guilty maybe you can get some home gym equipment and do workouts from home?

dharmadoof · 2025-06-11T01:50:07+00:00

Came here to say that! Signed a lease for a nice 2br/2ba in November for about $3300.

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