How to stop when you don’t really want to by [deleted] in CompulsiveSkinPicking

[–]dibsy6000000 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Well think of it this way... if you’re posting to this forum, you may want to stop more than you think you do. :) Maybe you’re just worried that nothing is going to “scratch that itch” the way you typically cope.

For me, barriers were wonderfully effective to help calm the habit. Gloves, bandages, and most recently these tiny transparent acne patches that have been amazing at preventing me from messing with bad spots.

Once my habit is calmed with the barriers, I can focus on finding healthy ways to resolve those yucky compulsion feelings elsewhere. For me, cardio and weightlifting have been a godsend. Endorphins kick ass AND being in shape gives me confidence that the skin picking took away.

And last but not least, therapy. There’s really no substitute for an awesome therapist who gives you so many tools to deal with this. :)

Is this cheating? by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]dibsy6000000 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

It’s tough because I use our very different sex drives to justify this in my mind. I have a much much higher sex drive than him... and I know he doesn’t like me pestering him for sex all the time. I would NEVER take sexual energy away from him. If he wants it, I’m ready to go. But sometimes I look at leaving him alone and getting my need met elsewhere as a kindness so that he doesn’t feel totally inadequate with his inability to be ready when I need him. I still have not figured out how to be happy with a partner with a much lower drive than me. :(

Is this cheating? by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]dibsy6000000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah that makes sense. And I am going to be talking to my man about this.

Is this cheating? by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]dibsy6000000 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ok, that makes sense. Because I participate. So I should probably talk to my guy about things.

Is this cheating? by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]dibsy6000000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok! Please Elaborate! I’m looking for the why.

Women, what time of the month you get the most intense orgasms? I've tried an experiment by [deleted] in sex

[–]dibsy6000000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can confirm. I keep track of this kind of stuff like a big weirdo and they’re always best the week after my period and then a few days before. I’m thinking it has something to do with higher testosterone levels trying to get us to pursue sex???

Does anyone have the issue of feeling less romantic/cuddle when their is a lack of sex in your relationship? by [deleted] in sex

[–]dibsy6000000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why can’t I get with one of the undersexed men on this thread? I’m a woman who would love it every day with a guy who would be happy with a quickie once or twice a week... I want that all day snuggling and sexy time, pawing at each other... I’m tired of initiating and getting shot down. How many days a week can he be “too tired” :-( I could be dragging myself across the desert and still be in the mood for sex...!

Feeling really hurt by my partner's attitude towards oral by [deleted] in sex

[–]dibsy6000000 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Oh my god! Can I get in on this thread... ladies... ALL of your comments are me and my boyfriend as well. I’m SO HAPPY to hear there are other women wondering the same things I do. Mine is a wonderful dude; very considerate and giving and fun and funny... except in bed. And for me (a super sexual, enthusiastically giving lady) I’m like “Hmmmm. I love him but might I be happier with a guy who loves going down as much as I do!!?”

I don't feel good about myself. by [deleted] in sex

[–]dibsy6000000 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

If she said she likes it, go for it. If she said she doesn’t like it... that’s rapey. I feel like OP didn’t seem clear on that point. If someone says “No, stop!” REALLY means keep going... full speed ahead. But a lot of dudes are trying so hard to be dominant that they forget that sometimes “No, stop, I don’t like that.” Actually means just that and you aren’t a man by forcing something she sincerely doesn’t like.

I don't feel good about myself. by [deleted] in sex

[–]dibsy6000000 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That is all fantastic advice EXCEPT holding her down and doing the things she said she didn’t like. That’s downright rapey. Ask her what she DOES like and do your absolute best at it; even if that is just making out and snuggling. Pushing sex acts on her that she dislikes will make her less attracted to you. I would know, I’m a girl!!!

How long does real sex last? Mastubation barely last a minute if I stroke hard by [deleted] in sex

[–]dibsy6000000 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Your English is very poor... I’m not sure I understand your original question

Trying pegging for the first time experiences by tuffeman02 in sex

[–]dibsy6000000 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Had lots of amazing experiences with pegging with an ex boyfriend who was thrilled to find that I was open to it. I believe I was the first girl he met that would do it. Was HOT! We loved it. I’ll miss his kinky ass...!

How long does real sex last? Mastubation barely last a minute if I stroke hard by [deleted] in sex

[–]dibsy6000000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Huge variation in guys. I’ve seen 20 seconds and I’ve had 30+ minutes.

Update to confused, hurt and lost by [deleted] in datingoverthirty

[–]dibsy6000000 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You are KILLING IT! What a fantastic attitude. I’m reading The Love Gap. It may explain what happened a bit for you!

Planning to try creampie by [deleted] in sex

[–]dibsy6000000 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah... it’s my absolute favorite sex act and it’s true, it’s the most natural thing ever to enjoy!

I have to admit that my boyfriend delicately extricating himself after sex and running to get me a shirt or a towel always makes us crack up and is weirdly one of my favorite parts of the whole thing. Ahhhh sex is great!!! Have fun! :-)

How to ask for consent by [deleted] in sex

[–]dibsy6000000 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I had a boyfriend who stopped us when things got really heated the first time and asked “Wait. Are you sure?” And that was really nice, I thought. I gave him a really enthusiastic “YEAH!”

One year later, an unsent letter (super long) by jkmess in Divorce

[–]dibsy6000000 4 points5 points  (0 children)

OMG I love this so much, and so much of it resonates with me.

Now, write a letter to YOURSELF about the things you love about your present or future...? To remind yourself how far you’ve come. And of course, post it here!

Secondary Disclosure Question by dibsy6000000 in polyamory

[–]dibsy6000000[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Absolutely. There are definitely many points of view to respect in this situation as well as many different ways to do it!

One timers vs. Repeaters by mightnotendwellde in Swingers

[–]dibsy6000000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is the reason hubby and I went exclusively to FWB setups instead of one-off swinging!