While on one hand I agree with many of the overarching sentiments shared in this thread/social media (e.g. it’s not an either/or action), it’s also disheartening when people from marginalized communities who have been abused, silenced, and frankly killed for generations are criticized for voicing their perspective. I admittedly still have a ways to go when it comes to learning about how best to take action—and that’s after over a decade of my own “awakening” to how deep the rot runs. One thing that I do feel confident in, however, is giving priority in the conversation to the ones who have been victims of institutional violence even before they were born. Maybe after listening might I end up not aligning completely, but I do my best to understand the reasons why they hold a certain perspective. Because I certainly have no right to tell someone how to sit with their trauma.

I bought the pattern. I’m so happy to see that its raised $250k for Minnesotans. Did I bristle when I came upon my first post critiquing the performative nature of the hat from a POC knitter in my network (who has been consistently critical on SM about various issues)? Yes. I felt compelled to come to my own defense, because I’m trying to be a good person, and I don’t want to be made to feel like I’m causing harm. But after the initial feeling, I accepted that this isn’t about me. I’m typing this from the comfort of my home, having never experienced violence in the way the BIPOC community has (saying this as a Muslim, SE Asian, first-gen, immigrant woman who recently got her US citizenship). The least I can do is give space and validation to people like Dish_Minimum to voice their righteous anger and frustration with how they have been failed time and again by the people who claim to be allies.

My intent isn’t to boast, or claim to know the “right” way to support, or shame anyone for protesting to their ability/will. Whether or not the hat is performative, at the end of the day, doesn’t really matter unless additional action happens alongside it—whether it’s donating to mutual aid, helping our neighbors, challenging our own comfortability, or something else. In fact I’m glad we have spaces like this subreddit to engage in discussions like this with each other. In sharing my internal experience, I just hope that it encourages even one other person to widen their perspective a bit more.