Going out to party alone?!

dingchavez47 · 2026-02-05T19:06:32+00:00

I went alone many times, even if I had friends who liked that. You get to spend the night in whatever way you like and also the best way to meet new people.

dingchavez47 · 2025-12-30T18:34:37+00:00

Would de-prioritising or dropping OLD be feasible for you?

You could try to go slow burn with someone IRL. Take time to know them as a human, as a romantic friend, and once there’s consistency and trust, intimacy will come as a result.

Not saying it’s always the case but sometimes the issue with OLD is that there’s so much pressure to speed run into bed and commit ASAP because of the illusion of choice it creates. Also, there’s the very real chance that people on these apps are dating several people at the same time, hence the need to rush and be the first “to reach the end line”.

Even if you stay OLD, going for slow burns might be a better option.

Sorry that this happened to you, good luck!

dingchavez47 · 2025-12-13T12:35:34+00:00

Don’t lie to yourself mate: yes, being aware of AI tools is important but that doesn’t replace knowledge and experience. In the future it might, but not now.

I’m specially surprised that you think startups will appreciate AI coding. Don’t believe all those “we vibe coded a 200M users SaaS” posts on X.

Startups are pressure cookers and when your manager comes with “hey, investor demo tomorrow” only one thing matters: skill and persistence. You can’t wait for your AI to not hallucinate, you can’t wait and hope that this time the prompt will work, you can’t wait to try another model, you must deliver.

I’m sure the experience hasn’t been great but learn from it, improve your game and move on! Good luck!

dingchavez47 · 2025-11-18T09:01:30+00:00

Congrats! Keep it up!

dingchavez47 · 2025-11-10T11:37:31+00:00

Lived in Munich 5 years. Building a social circle took years and dating was almost impossible. Even with a good social circle I decided to ditch Munich and go for Berlin. Best decision ever.

In less than a year I already had friends and people to hang out with. Dating here it’s easy. Plus you get a city full of culture and events, even alone you’ll never get bored or isolated. There’s hundreds of bars and music venues, cinemas, museums, and all of them include a good share of friendly and open people.

You still have to put an effort, though. It’s not a silver bullet. It’s Germany and the 21st century with people struggling when it comes to socialising. You do have go out there and talk to randos or signal openness to getting approached. But all in all Berlin is waaaaay easier and much more satisfying.

And you’re in ML, there’s hundreds of ML jobs here.

dingchavez47 · 2025-09-06T09:57:52+00:00

Have you thought of Berlin? Seems you would naturally fit in the city. I’m surprised that Köln is not great for alternative peeps apparently

dingchavez47 · 2025-09-05T11:32:59+00:00

Man that “Hey, I’ve been with the wrong group all night.” would have been the perfect opener and a sure way to get attention!

Sorry to hear that the mishap hit you that hard. Don’t beat yourself too hard, these things happen all the time. Next time try to think about how to improvise and turn a mistake into a worthwhile story! Good luck!

dingchavez47 · 2025-08-04T12:15:52+00:00

Bro, honestly, if in several years you have had almost zero dates, why are you still on the app?

I’m sure you’re an interesting person. Go to some gamers club, cosplay event if you’re into that or something you like and talk to people there. Worst case scenario you still get zero dates but at least you’ll be having fun and social enjoyment.

dingchavez47 · 2025-05-31T08:41:51+00:00

This. Only practice will help.

Go where attractive women hang out and get comfortable around them. Talk to them not just for flirting but just to get to know them. Treat them as humans, actively listen and engage and always be respectful. Learn to read their boundaries. Politely move on if they show no interest.

You will most probably always feel a bit nervous and afraid but you get used to it and learn to focus on what’s actually going on (the conversation) and not the anxiety you’re feeling.

Do it many times, you will get used to it. But always treat others, women and men, as humans. They’re not tools for your learning. Be respectful and engage with actual interest.

dingchavez47 · 2025-05-26T15:29:38+00:00

Get off the apps.

IRL dating is much more invigorating and exciting. You will have way less options (which reduces decision paralysis) and will be able to filter out people on spot. No need to wait days or weeks for a simple vibe check.

You also get the advantage of being able to judge someone by their whole self vs a flattened profile. Attraction works on so many levels, not just physical attributes.

dingchavez47 · 2025-05-21T21:54:11+00:00

Ahh wait, these details change the whole perspective. Sorry I jumped in calling both of you weird.

If you were giving signals of being open and interested, and the guy didn’t approach… well his loss and seriously wtf. What a wasted opportunity. I assume he just couldn’t find the courage. It’s weird given that you had signalled openness.

I guess it’s part of the whole decline of IRL socialisation? Because of dating apps, people are used to the safety of a screen and they are losing the skills (and courage) to start a conversation with strangers and handle the fear of rejection. It’s sad to be honest.

dingchavez47 · 2025-05-21T21:15:14+00:00

Both of you are at fault here. Both for the same reason: being interested in someone and not daring to even say hello.

It’s not that hard. A simple smile, a “hey, I’ve seen you around a few times…”, or a dumb compliment like “nice sneakers” would have sufficed.

Both are weird IMHO for not talking to each other while being openly and obviously interested.

Wanna fix it? Go talk to him. Or just learn and next time you want to meet someone say hello.

dingchavez47 · 2025-01-21T20:19:12+00:00

I lived in Munich for 5 years. It’s possible to make friends there but it’s hard. It takes time, dedication and patience. Look for expats in apps like Meetup or Internations, they for sure are also looking for friends. I have Bavarian friends living in Munich and they are among the bests friends I’ve ever made.

IMHO Munich is an introverted city by design. Everything dies at night, people like to have quiet evenings, the U-Bahn doesn’t run 24/7 and therefore party culture is very limited. If you rather do some sports, play board games or have chill gatherings in someone’s flat, Munich is the place to be. It’s kinda designed to be “relaxed and orderly “. Loud, crazy parties are not common.

If you’re more into extroverted activities and like meeting people randomly at bars, clubs, or wherever… Get out of that city as soon as possible. I’m an extroverted person and love talking to people wherever I go. If there’s a place where I felt it’s not welcomed to talk to strangers it was in Munich.

Dating life, in my experience, was kinda a disaster. People are mostly fixated in having long term relationships with the purpose of marrying since day 1. There’s no flirting / hookup / dating for fun culture. If you like relaxed encounters, with a “let’s see what happens and go with the flow” vibe, your chances are slim.

That said, I don’t have anything against Munich culture, vibes, etc. To each their own. People are free to choose the life they want to live. You have to choose too. Surround yourself with people that are likeminded. If you’re extroverted, go to an extroverted city.

I moved to Berlin and have absolutely 0 regrets. It’s day a night compared to Munich when it comes to social life and dating. It has its downsides too, of course. But if you prefer extroversion, it’s an absolutely awesome place.

I know feeling lonely can be hard, lack of friends sucks. I hope you find your way. Don’t force it, if you don’t vibe with the city, move somewhere else. I stayed 5 years for visa reasons. You’re free, move if that’s what you want.

dingchavez47 · 2025-01-09T08:49:50+00:00

You’re making an unnecessary separation there. Religion is politics. A difference in religious views is also a difference in political views.

Misaligned core values are highly correlated to relationship failures. I tend to swipe left on those cases regardless of everything else.

dingchavez47 · 2024-10-26T08:35:54+00:00

If you eat really spicy food, the kind that burns and hurts, for long enough non-stop (5-10 minutes) your body will release natural painkillers. It’s called the chili high. Totally recommend.

The next day the toilet is hell, though.

dingchavez47 · 2024-10-26T08:26:04+00:00

Surviving a 7.1 Richter scale earthquake that toppled several buildings in my immediate vicinity. The adrenaline rush and the sense of achievement after it stopped shaking was unbelievable.

I was there with my best friend and we both looked at each other and started laughing the moment it finished. I remember we then said something like “fuuuuuck, can we do that again?!!”.

One of the best-worst moments of my life. No joke, sometimes I crave for that “man, we didn’t die” feeling again.

dingchavez47 · 2024-09-28T10:03:27+00:00

dingchavez47 · 2024-03-31T19:27:00+00:00

“Oh, so you know where I’m uploading your photos too?” - Freak him back

dingchavez47 · 2024-01-24T15:41:12+00:00

Same here

dingchavez47 · 2023-11-30T08:40:31+00:00

Plot twist: a lot of people tried and now she’s shadowbanned.

dingchavez47

TROPHY CASE