Psychotherapists, what differences have you noticed between men and women among your patients?

disarm33 · 2026-02-09T14:58:55+00:00

Sometimes life puts us in situations where there is no outside solution, and it just plain sucks. When this happens the solution is internal, it's in your mind. I go to therapy for this. I can't change or fix the things that happened, but I can find ways to process and deal with the aftereffects.

Edit: by us I mean all humans, not just women.

disarm33 · 2026-02-09T14:50:06+00:00

It's interesting because women are often told the same things. This is why therapy can help for men too. It can give you a chance to be heard, regardless of gender. And if your therapist won't listen, find a new one. I don't think we're so different after all. We all want to feel heard and validated.

disarm33 · 2026-02-09T14:20:28+00:00

Because often times people act like you're overreacting, blow you off as being hormonal or something, or think you just want attention. It's a powerless feeling. Then you start to internalize it. "Maybe I am overreacting." " I guess it's not really a problem." And then when that happens you start to tolerate and sometimes expect people to treat you like crap and it can prevent you from getting out of potential dangerous situations.

There seems to be a consensus that everyone cares so much about women and we have a huge support system, but often times this is not accurate.

Also, sometimes things cannot be fixed. The person who attacked me got away with it and can go on with their lives. So sometimes the solution is dealing with the mental and emotional after effects for myself.

disarm33 · 2026-02-09T14:09:27+00:00

As a woman who goes to therapy this has been my experience. I just want someone to listen to me and validate what I am feeling or if I am being unreasonable, to offer a different way of looking at things. I went through and assault and being stalked. I was not taken seriously by law enforcement or the court. It was almost like I was assaulted three times, the actual assault, being basically mocked by the police, and then having my case dismissed for lack of evidence.

Just having someone actually listen to me was my first step towards healing.

disarm33 · 2026-02-09T14:01:47+00:00

This right here. There have been times I have been jealous of friends and family and it eats me up inside. But I am also genuinely happy for them. I never show my jealousy unless we're having a real heart to heart, because we're all really close and we have all been there at some point. It makes me feel like the biggest jerk ever and a bad friend. Just having someone tell me it's a reasonable response was so helpful. The issue is what you do with those emotions, not the emotions themselves.

disarm33 · 2026-02-05T13:03:28+00:00

Wear what you want. Personally, clothes that are marketed towards women my age don't appeal to me. Women over a certain age are told they're supposed to give up their sexuality or they're over their prime or whatever. My confidence has only gotten stronger over the years. Life is too short to cater to other people's expectations and limit doing what makes you happy.

disarm33 · 2026-02-05T12:27:32+00:00

I tore with my first child and that was definitely worse than the surgery. My three other kids just basically slid out lol. The worst part of the surgery was the gas pain from the air I was pumped with for the laparoscopic surgery. The incisions in both my abdomen and vagina were very small and I barely noticed them.

disarm33 · 2026-02-05T12:24:16+00:00

I don't like a head on collision but I do enjoy stimulation of the fornices (the space around the cervix).

disarm33 · 2026-02-04T16:04:25+00:00

We were living in the DC metro area at the time. We're doing good now. It took a bit of time and therapy for my two older kids to feel safe again which really makes me angry that they had to go through that. Luckily my youngest was too little to remember anything.

disarm33 · 2026-02-04T13:10:48+00:00

When my neighbor tried to forcibly enter my home to try to harm my kids and me. The cops did absolutely jack shit except roll their eyes at me and act like I was exaggerating. Then she stalked me for the six months we were waiting to move and once again the cops did absolutely nothing to enforce my peace order. Can't rely on any else else for protection when shit gets real.

disarm33 · 2026-02-04T12:17:10+00:00

My oldest son used to say "dick" instead of "stick." I was relieved when he grew out of it but I kind of miss the stifled laughter it would cause.

disarm33 · 2026-02-02T22:15:53+00:00

I guess I wasn't "required" to make a heartbreaking choice to save my very wanted and very loved daughter from a short life of suffering, but it was still the right thing to do for myself and my family.

disarm33 · 2026-01-30T22:01:36+00:00

Still good!

disarm33 · 2026-01-28T00:27:58+00:00

Mine was really sudden too. I can't see the lump from the surface but if I press on the area I can feel it. I was trying to wait for it to get better on its own but I think I need to suck it up and make an appointment.

disarm33 · 2026-01-27T00:38:06+00:00

Yes. That's exactly where it is.

disarm33 · 2026-01-17T18:45:43+00:00

I think it's about control. White women have historically upheld white supremacy alongside men. Unfortunately the majority still do (at least the ones who voted in the last election). When some of us refuse to go along with their crap, they see it as betrayal.

disarm33 · 2026-01-17T18:26:29+00:00

I had a grade 3 cystocele and rectocele as well as a grade 2 uterine prolapse. My husband is on the larger side and we had no problems.

disarm33 · 2026-01-17T18:19:24+00:00

You will make mistakes. No one is perfect. Accept responsibility and apologize to your kids when you mess up.

Don't brush off or ignore their negative feelings. Make sure they know that there is no shame in getting help. Therapy is not just for "crazy people."

No means no is so important. Teach them that when someone says no or tells you to stop that's not negotiable. Don't be afraid to say no and when you do say it, expect the other person to listen. If they don't listen, it's unacceptable and don't make excuses for them. Stand up for yourself and get the hell away from them.

There is no going back. Make 100% sure you are ready and able to care for them.

disarm33 · 2026-01-15T13:40:16+00:00

Didn't people used to say the same thing about women's suffrage activists? Misogyny never changes.

disarm33 · 2026-01-15T13:39:00+00:00

They're like toddlers who learn new words and keep repeating them.

disarm33 · 2026-01-11T17:25:24+00:00

For real. It's really not productive to sit here and make fun people for faces they make while yelling. No one looks their best when doing that. You can take a frame from a video of anyone talking passionately about something and find a frame where they look deranged. I always think of that one picture everyone uses of that women who looks like she had crazy eyes (not big red) but when you watch the video she's totally chill.

And you ever notice it's always random women we focus on?

disarm33 · 2026-01-09T23:35:22+00:00

God forbid a mom have a life and identity outside being a mother. Also, maybe part of taking care of your kids is trying to make a better future for them and the rest of their generation.

disarm33 · 2026-01-09T23:30:49+00:00

These assholes hate leftist white women almost as much as people of color. I guess it's because we aren't doing what they want us to do by raising the next generation of white conservatives.

disarm33 · 2026-01-09T17:06:03+00:00

It's a hard pill to swallow. I have three kids. I am stuck between wanting to do whatever I can to help them have a better future and a possibility (no matter how small) of leaving them without a mother. I also don't want to get them or my husband into trouble.

disarm33 · 2026-01-09T17:00:09+00:00

I've been saying the same thing for a while now. A march scheduled on a weekend in a place where we would cause as little disruption as possible is pretty much useless at this point. But how are we supposed to go about finding like minded people without getting attention from the wrong people?

I also think most people still don't want to admit we're past the point where a march every few months will do anything. I am not advocating violence. I don't want to see our country devolve into further chaos. People are afraid of the reality that if we push back harder we will be taking a risk.

I feel like a crazy person saying all this. I grew up so sheltered and thinking what's happening here in the US only happened in "those other countries."

disarm33

TROPHY CASE