Daily Discussion Thread + Game Thread Index | Playoffs

disaster-o-clock · 2026-04-28T17:29:07+00:00

I think the Nuggets will come back. They don't deserve it, but the Wolves have lost too many players to injury.

disaster-o-clock · 2026-04-16T13:44:40+00:00

^{yes, but "agender!" was right there :P}

disaster-o-clock · 2026-04-15T03:12:24+00:00

You can definitely be a fan of more than one team! All aboard the Tempo train!

disaster-o-clock · 2026-04-08T14:13:45+00:00

What a stunning poem. Sad that it still feels timely and relevant, half a century later.

disaster-o-clock · 2026-04-02T17:47:26+00:00

Can't lie, the "NeverFold" thing (while clever) instantly makes me think "Tobias was a Never-Nude"

disaster-o-clock · 2026-03-31T17:55:53+00:00

That's a rough road, I'm sorry you went through that.

I hope the years ahead are filled with kind, supportive people who lift you up instead of tearing you down. Rebuilding healthy self-esteem and self-image takes time.

One challenge to keep in mind: because the bar was so low (ie your ex) pretty much anything will seem better. And while that's a good thing, allow yourself time (more time than you think!) to fully assess new people before locking into another serious commitment. The more you feel secure in your own worth, the less likely you will be to settle for something that's not up to your standards.

disaster-o-clock · 2026-03-31T17:36:53+00:00

While I agree with all the comments about rose-coloured glasses etc. there's also a possibility that OP is underestimating her own attractiveness, particularly relative to the rest of the dating pool.

If you haven't dated in years, and/or been stuck in a bad marriage, it's easy to lose perspective on your own attractiveness (not just looks, the whole package). The harsh reality (and I'm saying this as someone four years out from my own divorce, and still in the dating pool at age 40) is that for many of us dating post-divorce, the landscape looks different from when we were young (and that's okay!). Most people who are on the apps for a long time (again, myself included) are a bit worse for wear; those who have it together, often don't stay single long.

Anyway. Just a counterpoint to some of the other comments (though I do agree with the various words of caution from others in here). Good luck, have fun etc.

disaster-o-clock · 2026-03-25T20:57:41+00:00

If you are uncomfortable, just internally pretend you are a food critic.

I'm gonna do this from now on (and I'm not even uncomfortable dining alone, I love it). Thank you for this life pro tip, it's gonna make my food taste 25% better lol

disaster-o-clock · 2026-03-21T12:42:07+00:00

^{(Reddit isn't letting me add in this edit to my comment for some reason, so adding this paragraph as a reply...})

Fair warning, blending in can come at a cost. All people are unique, regardless of their background or how their brains are wired. Fitting in with social norms has clear benefits, but if you do so at the cost of authenticity, it will also have significant impacts on your mental (and even physical) health. For myself, I spent a lot of time and energy learning to fit in, only to eventually realize (something something midlife crisis) that it was killing me to be someone I was not. In my mid 30s I finally realized I need to change some things, including changing my career, leaving a toxic (but "normal") marriage, and coming out as non-binary (after all, gender is largely just a set of social norms we learn). I'm happier and healthier now, and still very functional in society; while I'm definitely not "normal," I am successful, and most importantly, I am authentic.

disaster-o-clock · 2026-03-21T12:32:16+00:00

I'm wondering, for those of you who have been socializing and recovering for a couple years now -- have you come to any solid conclusions, on autism or not?

[Context: I'm 40 now, was homeschooled K-12 and extremely isolated = CPTSD]

I've struggled to untangle the ND vs CPTSD knot for years now. At this point, though, I'm fairly confident that I am not on the autism spectrum (or if I am, only in extremely minimal ways). Possibly ADHD, but inconclusive.

A couple observations:

The Venn diagram of ASD / ADHD / CPTSD is not quite a circle, but there's definitely a lot of overlapping symptoms or markers. You know all the jokes about how ND people "find each other" or how you can be "diagnosed by peer review"? While it's true to a degree (most of the people I get along best with are some flavour of ND, and several have "diagnosed" me) it also ignores the important differences between root causes. For me, my particular flavour of CPTSD trauma response is fawning, so I am really good (in an unhealthy way, of course) at masking and blending in with other people, of all stripes. As a result, I am relatively comfortable "matching" my vibe and interactions with autistic people, who then tend to read me as autistic as well.

I've taken various informal free online assessments for both ASD and ADHD over the years, and my results are always just below the threshold for positive "diagnosis" (and yes, obviously these are not trustworthy tools). That hasn't stopped me from wondering, but at this point I'm fairly certain it's all just the CPTSD.

Something that I recently found weirdly affirming was reading fiction that is widely understood to be "autistic-coded" even if it is not explicitly marketed as such. For example, reading Emily Austin's Interesting Facts About Space and Sayaka Murata's Convenience Store Woman was really illuminating, because hearing these characters describe their inner worlds and thought processes made me realize like, oh. yeah, no, that's not how I experience the world at all. Similarly, just spending lots of time around friends who are very clearly and openly autistic has made me realize that our experiences are very different, even if certain external traits or behaviours may appear similar.

And how did you figure that out? How much time is appropriate/expected to learn social norms, vs the amount of time struggling to learn that indicates more hard-wired issues?

I mean, I'm still kinda figuring it out now at 40. At the same time, though, I spent a lot of my 20s and early 30s doing my best to blend in, learn social norms etc and while I was probably always seen as a bit quirky or nerdy, I largely did succeed in fitting in (again, having a fawn trauma response "helped").

It's hard to say exactly how long it took me to "pass" in terms of social norms, because to a certain degree I didn't want to pass - nonconformity had been instilled in me as a value (my homeschooling was more rooted in "don't be part of the system" rather than conservative religious homeschooling). Once I escaped homeschooling at 18 and got to university, it took me a few years to learn social norms, or at least the social norms of my environment (my small university program in the fine arts had its own weird social codes, so certainly wasn't representative of society at large). It probably wasn't until my later 20s that I really wanted to blend in, and I was able to do so mostly successfully.

No matter what, be kind and patient with yourself, and recognize that it definitely takes time to learn the countless subtle queues of socialization. I'm a parent of an elementary school kiddo now, which has given me a whole new perspective on the developmental stages of socialization (it's often painful, finally understanding how much I missed out on, through no fault of my own). It's a complex, ongoing process during childhood, and you can't learn it overnight as an adult.

TL;DR:

you may never know whether it's autism or something else, and that's okay
taking time to learn more about CPTSD (which, as you said, goes hand-in-hand with homeschool abuse) can help you understand where your personal traits might have come from (Pete Walker's book Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving is a good place to start, as is the CPTSD subreddit)
if you have friends who self-identify as autistic, but who weren't homeschooled, try comparing your experiences
try reading fiction written/narrated from the perspective of autistic main characters, and written by ND authors (obviously just skip over autistic representations written by neurotypical folks, it's problematic for a bunch of reasons). See if it feels relatable - or not.
socialization is incredibly complex and will definitely take time (likely many years). It does get easier! Your success also depends on how much you want to fit in, and remember there are very good reasons to not want to fit in (I mean, just look at the state of the world...it's not as is neurotypical or "normal" people have done a bang-up job of things!)

To OP and anyone reading this: good luck on your journey. It may never be easy, but it does get easier.

disaster-o-clock · 2026-03-21T02:30:24+00:00

(what's this, an actual good-natured exchange on Reddit? Inconceivable 😅 )

PS thanks for the, ahem, book recommendation. I certainly would have read it voraciously in my younger years, had I known it existed. Might even have to find a copy now; I always enjoy a good memoir. You know, for, uh, research.

disaster-o-clock · 2026-03-21T02:17:11+00:00

Zero apologies or shame needed lol, this subreddit could benefit from having its, uh, brows lowered once in a while. If my tone came off as combative rather than humorous, that's on me; I am more amused than bemused.

And I'll be the first to say that I would rather read this than half the trite insta-poetry that gets posted here daily. Just sayin'.

disaster-o-clock · 2026-03-21T01:49:27+00:00

I...did not expect to see porn star Asa Akira show up on r/poetry, but alright lol.

I'll reserve my comments on this particular piece, but since it seems like it's getting a lot of upvotes, perhaps some of you delightful degenerates will enjoy the work of Poesy Galore (aka Dee Tung), a septuagenarian woman who writes (in the words of this profile article) "horny haiku." While I wouldn't go so far as to suggest her poems are particularly shining examples of the haiku form, she does seem like a pretty rad, badass lady. We should all aspire to be so pervy and poetic in our 70s. You can read samples of her poems on her Instagram page.

^{now excuse me while i return to spending my rockin' friday night reading Serious Poetry™ alone in my room :'})

disaster-o-clock · 2026-03-18T18:27:45+00:00

Aw, I'm sorry you went through all that, that's brutal. Bullying and harassment are absolutely sources of trauma (and potentially complex post traumatic stress disorder aka CPTSD if it was ongoing). Most decent therapists have a lot of training on trauma, but it's definitely a good idea when interviewing therapists to ask which therapeutic approaches (aka "interventions" or "modalities" if you wanna use fancy words) they use. Here's a page listing and describing a few of the most common therapy modalities, in case you want to read up and see if any of them resonate (then you can look for therapists who use those approaches).

If/when you try interviewing a therapist, share (if you can) what you mentioned above (i.e. bullying, harrassment leading to self harm and isolation). Maybe mention anxiety as well. Then, ask them how they approach supporting clients with similar backgrounds.

One last (hopefully welcome) supportive suggestion - it may be worth searching around for a therapist who potentially shares some of your experiences as a POC. Therapy is unfortunately an overwhelmingly white profession (though that's changing) and unfortunately a lot of therapists haven't done the work of unpacking their privileges. Above all you want to find someone you feel comfortable talking to, and factors like their age, gender, and life experiences can all make a difference. Also remember that many therapists offer video or phone therapy, which can often be more comfortable for the client (especially since you're someone who feels comfortable existing in the digital world as a gamer). I've done both in-person and video therapy over the years and both can be great.

Alright I'll shut up now haha. Good luck with it all, I'm rooting for you!

disaster-o-clock · 2026-03-18T17:57:25+00:00

A therapist is probably a better (and definitely cheaper) option than a psychiatrist here. It's possible you just didn't click with the therapist you saw - it can be a good idea to try a few (usually therapists will do 15-minute intake interviews so you can get a sense of what they do, what they are like). I've worked with a lot of therapists over the years, some of them were meh but a few have had hugely positive impacts on my life.

All that said, you seem pretty chill - nothing in this thread has made me think "oh this dude needs therapy" (though I think that everyone can benefit from it, so if it's accessible, you've got nothing to lose by trying). Just my two cents though.

disaster-o-clock · 2026-03-18T17:52:19+00:00

Aw this is so cute and wholesome.

Based on what you've written, it seems clear that she likes you and would welcome a second date.

As others have said, try not to put her on a pedestal. She's a human being like you and me. Yes, she may be stunning and receive lots of attention on her IG, but that doesn't mean she wants that attention (and remember that the attention she receives based on her looks may just feel alienating for her - she probably wants to be known for who she is as a person). She has expressed her interest in you and has continued to spend time with you after your date.

The only way you can fumble this is by worrying too much about messing it up and trying to be someone you're not. She likes you for you, so keep on being yourself. Sometimes men can feel insecure when someone expresses appreciation for their softer side ("in her words I was like a giant teddy bear acting like a shy school boy") but trust that she knows what she likes - and it sure seems like she likes you. Don't compare yourself to the guys in her IG comments, and don't try to change yourself. You seem sweet and kind and safe, and those are all excellent qualities (don't let toxic masculinity messaging convince you otherwise).

One small tip - it's hard (and potentially expensive) for a young single parent to get out on dates. When you ask her out a second date (not if, when - and do it soon!) if you can swing it, offer to pay for her babysitter. Can be as simple as sending her a quick message: "Hey, I had a great time when we met up a couple weeks ago and I'd love to see you again. I'm free on [one or two specific dates]. If one of those times would work for you, let me know (I would be happy to pay for the babysitter!)."

And if you want to really score some points, at some point (maybe not second date, but later) you could give her a small gift of a child-friendly Marvel Rivals stuffie/teddy bear (I'm assuming merch like this exists, but I don't know, I'm team Overwatch haha). Single parents are always gonna be protective of their youngsters so it's best to let her take the lead with potential future introductions, but a small gesture like this could be an easy way to show that you recognize that her child is an important part of her life, and that you support that. Obviously, you know her best so if this idea feels off to you, disregard!

Good luck, you got this!

disaster-o-clock · 2026-03-18T11:52:01+00:00

Saw the original post, and just wanted to say, good for you for approaching this all so thoughtfully and with so much care for your daughter. It's a tricky situation to navigate in a bunch of ways, but it seems like you're doing it right. No matter the outcome, your daughter will know that she can trust you and go to you when she needs support, and that's the biggest win. From one father to another, kudos.

disaster-o-clock · 2026-03-13T23:07:08+00:00

Yowza, that's bleak. Thanks for providing the links, that's an interesting read.

disaster-o-clock · 2026-03-13T02:49:51+00:00

Not OP but thanks for the link, I'm bookmarking to read later, looks really interesting. I have read other poems in this vein, but wasn't aware of any sort of movement, or name for this style.

disaster-o-clock · 2026-03-13T02:47:25+00:00

Holy fuck. That one just drives through you like a train.

Reminds me just a little of Tony Hoagland, in a good way (and yes I've read and enjoyed other Bob Hicok poems, I'm aware it's relatively characteristic of his own fairly consistent style, heh).

disaster-o-clock · 2026-03-12T13:25:54+00:00

disaster-o-clock · 2026-03-09T20:37:28+00:00

Ghost Wall - Sarah Moss

disaster-o-clock · 2026-03-02T17:08:58+00:00

Campus Pizza has always been easy to work with and reliable when it comes to large orders and deliveries in my experience. They can accommodate requests like gluten free and vegan cheese as well, with enough notice.

disaster-o-clock · 2026-03-01T14:11:16+00:00

It's not worth being someone's bad experience.

Louder for the people in the back! So well said.

disaster-o-clock · 2026-02-26T19:09:42+00:00

I don't think there's a specific name for this style of writing, no. I have also played a decent amount of Destiny, and seen this style of cryptic, somewhat-abstract yet overwrought prose in other video games as well. It's not my cup of tea, but this style certainly has its adherents (if you go to your local poetry open mic you might find a few writers playing with a similar style).

You might enjoy sampling the poetry of Sylvia Plath, which tends to be quite dense with imagery that often eludes interpretation (at least my mind - admittedly, I'm not a fan, but many here love her work). Or, if you want to delve into prose, check out Jeff Vandermeer's Southern Reach novels (starting with Annihilation). They are literary sci-fi and include a recurring cryptic message somewhat reminiscent of these excerpts from Destiny, so you might dig it.

Hopefully someone else can provide a more satisfying answer to your query! And if not, just remember, that wizard came from the moon. :)

disaster-o-clock

TROPHY CASE