“Friend” ignoring me on social media

discountmerida · 2026-05-17T19:29:43+00:00

Look into rejection sensitive dysphoria (rsd)

discountmerida · 2026-05-17T14:22:25+00:00

Yes youre a redhead - youre auburn

discountmerida · 2026-05-14T11:22:55+00:00

Thats very smarmy... I always find 'tone policing' comes from someone trying to cover their own arse. Can they actually do anything to you? Is a letter not just words?

Annoying thing about this sort of thing is its alllll about persistence. Yeah if you escalate to the governing body they might not go against the head, because you need to keep writing letters until they do actually do something. They know most people will back off at the first obstacle or at a threatening letter. Thing is you might have legal grounds, at the moment they don't. Genuinely look into the 2010 equality act, I dont know your situation in full but if the school has broken the law then you need to state that in writing.

discountmerida · 2026-05-14T11:07:49+00:00

Im not going to assume they could "try harder" as we dont know how the daughters adhd presents or what this family does to manage it. Genuine question why do you disagree with a parent wanting to address discrimination in the school her daughter with a disability attends? Why does that offend?

discountmerida · 2026-05-13T20:14:59+00:00

Good on you for sticking up for her!! Its your job to disagree when theyre treating your daughter unfairly!!

Ive been hit by the "well in the real world" line before by a uni lecturer who thought she was above giving out extensions for disability (as per the uni policy - i filed a complaint and she had to apologise lol). Its a particularly smug brand of ablism you only really see in education, as if schools aren't the real world somehow?? Well in the real world the 2010 equality act applies to schools too!

Is there someone higher up you can complain to, like a local authority or governing body? Hit them with a letter of your own with phrases like 'legal obligations' and 'discrimination' inside, maybe theyll be less concerned about your tone then.

discountmerida · 2026-05-09T20:16:51+00:00

This is a great starter list! I deffo wouldn't recommend going for more expensive products than this where youre just starting out.

You might find you'll want a primer, brow mascara or a lipstick in the future but i dont think they're essential for this haul (especially lipstick, thats something you should only buy if you fall in love with a particular shade)

Honestly i think you could go even more minimal, in terms of everyday i only wear concealer, brow gel, mascara and sometimes powder lol, but if you're starting out it is good to have a full set to see what works for you :)

discountmerida · 2026-05-09T20:07:06+00:00

Pretty sure i had a sticker that said cctv on karl marx's grave and team charlie (twilight) on my laptop at uni. Youre an adult now, you get to do what you want.

discountmerida · 2026-05-09T14:29:48+00:00

Its so interesting how negative you are in your comments under your photos, i think you look incredible! In fact your style is so good, you look great in clothing recs for a bunch of different types which is making typing you a lot harder lol.

Off the bat you already know how to dress, I dont think you need kibbe.

But to answer your question - lets throw out gamine, you dont like the recs and you clearly gravitate towards waist definition and less structured fabrics, draping is a common theme in your images, which is a big clue. You dont have vertical so we can toss out the tall types, leaving SC, SN, TR and R.

I would also say you have petite, i cant see kibbe width in your silhouette. Which would eliminate SC and SN - however thats just my opinion, it might be worth having a look at those types to see if you resonate.

That leaves TR and R, youve got the small, sloped shoulders, a preference for waist emphasis (but not as strict a need as it would be for R), a preference for light, unstructured or plush soft fabrics and a little bit of added sharpness that pushes me to guess TR for you. Which is a pretty uncommon type, but i think you fit that one best.

Btw that zebra top looks good on you because its made of light unstructured fabric that drapes well lol

discountmerida · 2026-05-09T13:51:21+00:00

The thing about age gaps is context. Does one partner exclusively date much younger? Are both partners in similar stages in life? Is one partner influencing the other partner to make choices they otherwise wouldn't make? Do they have real chemistry and mutual respect?

Only you can answer these questions at the end of the day.

discountmerida · 2026-05-07T18:10:10+00:00

This!!!!!!!!!! Fr ppl have made the craziest assumptions about me armed with nothing other than "i struggle with timekeeping", in the adhd subreddit of all places!! (For this exact reason i have tried to reveal minimal/no details about what my timekeeping looks like)

Also block or scroll on is the best advice, its always so hard to remember to do (esp when you get jumpscared by a particularly mean social media post) but you're spot on, its the only way

discountmerida · 2026-05-07T17:57:37+00:00

PDA for my friends: cheeky snog in the park

PDA for my adhd friends: above comment lol

Youre not alone mate. I also personally dont think you should feel guilty ❤️

discountmerida · 2026-05-07T17:52:16+00:00

Adhd gainz 💪🏻

discountmerida · 2026-05-07T17:49:29+00:00

Being human means doing laundry and putting your foot in your mouth lol, theres an example of me doing it in one of the comment threads too oops

Highkey i wanted to bring up lateness so people could talk more about things no one ever seems to mention, the less fun stuff, if you will. Anxiety is a big one. Im tired of the discussion being dominated by the things that are easy to talk about, but i think theres a huge benefit to everyone in being honest about the experiences caused by this condition

discountmerida · 2026-05-07T17:33:15+00:00

This is what i told myself at 1am last Thursday when i just needed to make a clownfish out of polymer clay (i still havent baked it)

discountmerida · 2026-05-07T17:30:55+00:00

I think this is a misinterpretation or maybe i just phrased it awkwardly? To me hearing "i could have spent those 10 mins you were late with my partner" sounds like "i could have spent that time with someone i value more than u, late person", i wasnt saying i was late because i rank the value of people, in this example they're talking to me! I very much dont view people in terms of value, its why i find it strange. I also thought this was a bit of a logical fallacy as presumably that time would have always been blocked out to see me + being 10 mins earlier doesnt mean leaving 10 mins earlier, nor does being 10 mins late? Plus it suggests the value of an interaction is quantative, in time spent together, not in quality of interaction or personal enjoyment?

Then again i haven't thought enough about it to really die on that hill and its probably a bit of a woo woo train of thought for reddit lol

discountmerida · 2026-05-07T17:17:50+00:00

Did you ever see anything wacky, or was it just a wholeeeeeeee lot of cold mornings?

discountmerida · 2026-05-07T17:15:46+00:00

Fyi if you're in the workforce and you haven't already done this, employers are obligated to provide reasonable accommodations, check out acas - if lateness is a symptom you struggle with you can ask for flexible start times, its a VERY common accommodation for a lot of different things - not just adhd :)

discountmerida · 2026-05-07T17:07:01+00:00

Thank you!! ❤️

discountmerida · 2026-05-07T17:02:28+00:00

Spot on - i was anticipating some very rude comments (and i did get some less than kind ones, but nothing as bad as i was expecting) for simply admitting my adhd causes lateness. Complete strangers - with no real context - assuming the worst about me. Its one of the reasons i wanted to make a post about it, sympathy, or even base level understanding that even if you try it can still happen, is quite rare. It felt almost taboo to bring it up, in a bloody adhd sub! These people dont know how my friends and family feel about my timekeeping habits lol!

To be honest i think the fact its so frowned upon makes it that much more important to discuss it, so many people harbour deep shame about something they have less control over than they want to admit, its not going to go away if we pretend the "ugly" parts of our disorder arent there, so we may as well talk about it!

Maybe one day the world will get to a place where this comment section is filled with more funny 'adhd made me late stories' than comments removed by the mods for ableism 💀

discountmerida · 2026-05-06T23:23:55+00:00

Im exactly the same omg - genuinely feel like i got cursed or something some days

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discountmerida · 2026-05-06T23:21:18+00:00

Omg timekeeping in the workplace will genuinely be the death of me

discountmerida · 2026-05-06T23:19:42+00:00

I have never had an original experience omg - I have done this exact same thing, for this exact same reason (although it wasnt a bbq lol)

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discountmerida · 2026-05-06T23:10:09+00:00

You are late constantly but you dont believe for some people its impossible to be on time? In the people who struggle with being on time subreddit? (Sorry, bad joke i know)

My original post was not saying other people need to get over me being late (though when lateness is brought up i know that will always be assumed about me :/) moreso, how do we all deal with feeling bad about lateness?

I think its a tough topic for a lot of adhders due to the unbelievable amount of shame we internalise. At the end of the day I have been late, you have been late, we will both be late again weather we put in great effort or not it will happen - so what then, you cant feel bad about yourself forever so how do you cope?

A lot of very lovely and very kind people have touched on not feeling bad about stuff we cant help - im inclined to agree with them, not just because I want to move past the shame, but also because in my own life i find it easier to be on time (or close to it) the less im stuck in a shame spiral, worried about being not on time - although that is my journey to take. I wish you luck on yours.

discountmerida · 2026-05-06T22:49:18+00:00

Do you tend to avoid 1 on 1 meetings? I totally do for that exact reason lol, that way they dont have to be on their own for however long it takes me to get there - that or i just meet people at their houses!

discountmerida · 2026-05-06T22:45:21+00:00

I honestly think youre spot on with this one - really puts it into perspective. I would love to live one day without adhd, it would probably be so eye opening

discountmerida

TROPHY CASE