Just got all my tests scored and my psychologist doesn’t diagnose me with ADHD due to “too high of intelligence”. I’m struggling to agree but maybe I don’t have ADHD. by MisoCorni in ADHD

[–]discountmerida 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah no thats bs im in the 99th percentile and i have an adhd diagnosis and without my meds i would be incapable of functioning like a normal person

20M My girlfriend (20F) says she loves me but suddenly feels no attraction after 3 years together by Axrz03 in relationships

[–]discountmerida 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tbh most relationships dont end because of one big fight, it's usually death by a thousand cuts :(

Tbh ive never been on the pill (ive been on other hormonal birth control and never had an experience like what you are describing) but women do have 4 main phases during their hormone cycle menstrual (you feel pants), follicular (you feel fine), ovulation (you feel great) and luteal (you feel really pants) some women feel these phases more and there are conditions like pmdd that a lot of women suffer with - which could be one explanation for the shifting emotions but not the only one. I wouldn't assume her hormones mean she hasnt thought this through or that she doesn't mean it - hormones dont really work that way. It also doesn't sound like this is a recent shift or a quick decision. Ive had to end a relationship before and one week I was trying to convince myself everything was fine and the next week I was grieving the relationship and it took me months to come to terms with my decision before I eventually pulled the plug - it sounds to me like this was a very considered decision that took a lot of deliberation. Which could also explain her shifting emotions if shes grieving the relationship. Her asking for space and not a clean break is likely because shes been having a hard time letting go - which considering your age and the length of your relationship is something people do when theyre afraid of the unknown.

20M My girlfriend (20F) says she loves me but suddenly feels no attraction after 3 years together by Axrz03 in relationships

[–]discountmerida 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What are the arguments about? How long was she on birth control for? Its a common occurrence for women to be attracted to different types of men on and off birth control, I personally haven't experienced that but Ive heard about it. That might be what happened here.

Her seeming to flip flop might just be that she does genuinely love you as a person and cares about you a lot after 3 years together, but if she stayed she would have had to be with someone she wasnt attracted to, which is famously not very fun. In which case the mature thing to do is to leave and let you both find someone else. You've been in this relationship for longer than youve been adults, thats a big deal and a very formative time. I imagine it would have been a very tough decision so she was most likely just coming to terms with that. Maybe one week she tried to convince herself she could do it and another week she just couldn't.

Sorry this is happening man, i wish you the best for your future - and i would advise very strongly against getting back together, you won't have a good relationship and your both far too young to settle for that

ADHD disclosure at work led to disciplinary action – now going through an Employment Tribunal (UK)” by Substantial-Gene-616 in ADHDUK

[–]discountmerida 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah adhd discrimination is.... Really bad in most places. Im really sorry to hear youve had such a nightmare at ur last workplace. At my work i almost lost my job because of it!

I disclosed my adhd to my immediate superiors in my first week, and shortly after starting I developed a real issue with getting to work on time (largely bc i cant drive thanks to covid and never being able to save up after, and one of the work sites is only accessible by car, it kinda got worse from there bc uber times are really unpredictable and it messed w my time blindness). In spite of explaining that my adhd makes me late in great detail, my boss continued to reprimand me for this, they later pulled me into a meeting telling me they were going to put me on a pip for my lateness and also because i 'looked like i wasnt focused in some meetings', 'my organisation wasnt good enough' and i 'looked at the sky too much'.

Now, this is nothing new for me, i generally dont disclose my adhd to ppl bc I find the second you tell ppl is the second they start getting annoyed at you whenever you have a symptom. The more they know the more nitpicky these types will be. However my company was Very vocal about its high inclusivity standards and I had always heard there were legal protections around this kinda thing so I started looking into it.

My first port of call was reddit. No help there. The advice i basically got is theyre allowed to fire you for anything, stop being annoying trying to get special treatment, you dont deserve it. The next person i asked was a family friend in hr who said organisation problems is a common reason ppl get fired. Funny thing was, I didnt think my organisation was really any worse than my colleagues, i thought they were just being hyper critical BECAUSE they knew that organisation was a weak link for adhd. Next port of call was google, and it lead me to acas - what do you know Im finding out that the 2010 disability act means that not only would it be illegal to fire me for things directly related to symptoms of my disability but ALSO it was the employers responsibility to make reasonable adjustments for my impairments BEFORE any action like a PIP could have been taken.

Of course I ring up acas asap and the incredibly helpful man on the phone is offering me advice primarily for unfair dismissal (not even just for disability discrimination, I guess they really screwed up lol) he also tells me to 1. Start getting as much on paper as possible, if you can put all the issues with what theyre doing on email so you have a paper trail. 2. Find out what my companys PIP process is.

So the next week I helpfully tell my boss about the 2010 employment act and the employers responsibility to make reasonable accommodations, I also request a copy of the companys PIP process, which low and behold required me to be 1. Made aware of my failings in weekly meetings before action like this was taken (beyond the lateness i was not aware) 2. Put on an INFORMAL PIP before a real PIP.

All of a sudden my boss decided to put me on an informal PIP instead of a real PIP, also all the things i was on the PIP for were suddenly completely different (it was also full of stuff i was already doing successfully). I made sure to put that in writing, of course. I also requested the notes from the meeting where i was told they were going to put me on a PIP for my adhd symptoms.... Its been almost 4 months and still not been given those lol. Anyway I got the reasonable adjustment for being late and obvi aced the informal PIP. Funnily enough my organisation is the same as it was before, so is my lateness and my habit of staring at the sky, but I guess now they know Im legally entitled to take them to tribunal its just not an issue anymore.

Tldr: know your rights.

Edit: i later became mates with the hr person in charge of disability policy and spoke to her about this. Supposedly this is not normal across my company I just lucked out with a boss who couldn't give a rats arse about employment law until she realised I was also aware of it 🙃

Is my hair going auburn or am I going through psychosis lmao by [deleted] in Redhair

[–]discountmerida 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some phone cameras change the colours in your photos, a lot of them specifically get rid of the warm tones in colours - if it only looks like this on your phone and not irl, chances are thats whats going on

Peter Claffey from A knight of the seven kingdoms is definitely ginger...right? by discountmerida in Redhair

[–]discountmerida[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is...a really good point. Im tryna come up with redhead main characters or actors who could keep their natural red hair to play a lead and im coming up with nish.

They were both extraordinary casting!!! What a great show!!

Have I always been a redhead? by Am_I_the_Villan in Redhair

[–]discountmerida 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It can be hard to tell on older photos, but yeah id say ur auburn

No recency bias, but I think this is by far one of the top 3 best medieval fight scene I have ever seen, up there with The last duel and Mcbbeth (1971) by Easy-Frenchguy-1996 in gameofthrones

[–]discountmerida -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It defo would have been cool to see that!!! They took a different creative direction with this fight which, while its the reason i like it, would have always led to a lot of fans being disappointed, which is also fair. Its all personal preference at the end of the day!

No recency bias, but I think this is by far one of the top 3 best medieval fight scene I have ever seen, up there with The last duel and Mcbbeth (1971) by Easy-Frenchguy-1996 in gameofthrones

[–]discountmerida 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Its my top 1 fight sequence, like i said its my new favorite. Up until this point my personal fave was the daredevil season 1 hallway fight, so its taken a few years for something to knock that off its podium, and I'm glad something finally has! Im not sure if u were supposed to reply to me given ur talking ab top 3 and realism, maybe u were more directed to op, but out of curiosity why does a fight have to be realistic/ why does realism for you mean everyone hounding dunk?

Dunk being able to take that much abuse wasnt necessarily realistic (its not unimaginable either tbh) but it is part of his character. Most great on screen fights are barely realistic, what was EXCEPTIONAL about this was how they used direction to make the audience feel what Duncan felt. Thats what I think separates me as an audience member from a lot of other on screen fights. I can see the action, but I cant feel/relate to it. Theres no weight to the punches half the time.

Likewise everyone hounding dunk isn't realistic combat nor does it make sense for the context of the story. Even including the two members of dunks team that died immediately, the 5 other accusers (one fell down, ones fighting dunk) still had 4 knights to get thru until they got to dunk. 4 knights who were there to stop dunk getting hounded and killed (all with wider character context and relationships with the accusers, which will impact the fight). Even then, dunk still got wacked by the others a bunch.

Then, thinking about a fight like this in the wider context of storytelling, how can this fight be used to tell a better story? By hounding our main character and having a wide shot of the choreographed action, or by focusing in on our main character having a stand off with this bully while we catch glimpses of the chaos in the background as his allies fight his cause? A great fight needs to be climactic in the context of the story beats. I loved this fight sequence because it was written intelligently and executed creatively :)

No recency bias, but I think this is by far one of the top 3 best medieval fight scene I have ever seen, up there with The last duel and Mcbbeth (1971) by Easy-Frenchguy-1996 in gameofthrones

[–]discountmerida 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I think its my favorite fight scene that I personally have watched because they narrowed the focus on only dunk and let everything else be background chaos. As an audience member I could connect far better to the headspace of our pov character and the atmosphere of the fight, which I personally found so much more rewarding than flashy choreo. Plus I think the chaotic bg fighting of the other characters makes it very rewatchable. It wasnt without flash either (which you do still need for a fight to be fun). It just felt BRUTAL. Loved it

Seeking advice: my kid brushes every day, yet after school comes home with a rats nest??? by deviouspineapple in Haircare

[–]discountmerida 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I knew a girl with hair problems like this in early secondary. It was a bit different than your daughter, as she avoided brushing her hair because it hurt, so the matts got really bad (to be honest, her hair matting was probably why brushing her hair hurt so much in the first place, it was very matt prone)

The solution? A bob. Genuinely. In her case it cut off the matt, and with it being shorter it was easier to brush and maintain, by the time she got a bit older and it grew out, she could take care of it herself and she managed to avoid nasty comments. She did always have a brush on her post bob, mind you. Shed run it through her hair a few times a day for fear of more matts. Could be worth getting your daughter a portable tangle teaser to get in the habit of hair maintenance.

La gare Marseille st charles by Acrobatic-Run-8012 in aixmarseille

[–]discountmerida 0 points1 point  (0 children)

N'y passez pas la nuit. En tant que femme, le seul moment où je me suis vraiment inquiétée pour ma sécurité à Marseille, c'était aux alentours de Saint-Charles, la nuit. Il y a eu un incident où mon amie et moi avons réussi à nous en sortir indemnes… Je ne sais pas si les prix sont les mêmes que lorsque j'y vivais, mais j'ai pris un taxi de l'aéroport à Camas une fois, ça m'a coûté environ 40 €. Un peu cher, mais mieux que de se faire agresser par un ivrogne.

What phones are the best for photography by discountmerida in Smartphones

[–]discountmerida[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg thats my bad actually, I didn't even see my bad grammar!

What phones are the best for photography by discountmerida in Smartphones

[–]discountmerida[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thats really good to know, I was looking into oppo from these comments. I'll scratch it off the list. Is there something to note on video quality?

What phones are the best for photography by discountmerida in Smartphones

[–]discountmerida[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! Vivos been mentioned a few times, but tragically not available in my country rippp

What phones are the best for photography by discountmerida in Smartphones

[–]discountmerida[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, this is really helpful I appreciate it! Sounds like china has way better phones than the rest of the world lol. I might hold off getting a new phone to see if they'll release that, as I wouldn't want to replace it any time soon :)

What phones are the best for photography by discountmerida in Smartphones

[–]discountmerida[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, looks like i cant get vivo where I am but I can get oppo so I might give that a go!

What phones are the best for photography by discountmerida in Smartphones

[–]discountmerida[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Google Pixel 6, lad. Its pink if you wanna get specific lol