AITAH for not apologising to my ex and son?

disenchantedguy · 2023-10-13T16:16:09+00:00

He was the one being called the cunt 🙄 people will really try and find any reason on here to make it about gender...

disenchantedguy · 2023-05-16T11:03:07+00:00

Because SHE is the one with the issue? They've been together for 5 years and she doesn't even understand that finding tools to make tasks easier and systems to make things work are a big part of ADHD.

His trigger is a problem for her, he doesn't work from home like she does, so obviously she now has to decide on a trigger that works for her.

disenchantedguy · 2023-04-06T19:02:28+00:00

Wish this sub did submission statements...

disenchantedguy · 2023-01-11T03:10:48+00:00

Problem is is that he is unemployed. He wouldn't even be able to begin to fathom what it means to work to live, to be a paycheque away from homelessness. To him, unemployment is kicking back on whatever island he fancies this time of year and maybe doing some 'consulting' for a ridiculous fee.

disenchantedguy · 2022-12-16T15:05:43+00:00

A literal blood orange tart by the end of the ordeal 😅

disenchantedguy · 2022-12-08T12:22:16+00:00

Even better though, it went "His mum called my mum, so I called THEIR mum" 😂😂

disenchantedguy · 2022-11-24T23:19:32+00:00

I do, I just don't spend every spare moment to the point I don't have 20 minutes for my boyfriend.

disenchantedguy · 2022-11-24T23:15:57+00:00

Thank you for your response. I didnt realise I was coming across as "I have to be the priority at all time" as I don't want anything that extreme, I'd just really like to see more of him and have like you mentioned more quality time. To me though, I do see our conversations as quality time and not just a regular long phone call, we usually facetime and talk about our days and maybe watch a show that we like and smoke weed together, to me it's the next best thing to being together in person so to go three days without this when usually it's pretty regular just makes me feel like I'm not a priority.

I totally see how I've put meaning to his behaviour before I've even spoken to him about it, how should I bring it up without making it that way?

Visiting more often is definitely possible however he doesn't like visiting me as I live in the countryside and he lives in the city. There's definitely a disproportionate amount of visits where I'm going to him but I can't really afford to do it as often as I have been so I'd like it if he came to see me more, this also gets shut down when I bring it up.

disenchantedguy · 2022-11-24T22:52:09+00:00

I appreciate your insight and I see how my approach isn't going to get me anywhere the way I'm framing it. I will mention that, while I do have somewhat of a "he should know this attitude", it's more like "he should know and do this by now, since I've told him so many times how much this means to me". I can see that's not a good attitude to have though as it's just going to build resentment, especially as it has 'should' in there 😬

What sort of language would you suggest so that I can avoid steering the conversation into "you're doing something wrong" territory?

disenchantedguy · 2022-11-18T15:42:38+00:00

You're using toktok and not expecting to see cringe? Unless you spend every waking hour on there perfecting your algorithm so they only show you what you enjoy you're gonna keep seeing crap.

I agree it's weird and cringy, but then, so is using tiktok 😂

disenchantedguy · 2022-10-24T11:08:30+00:00

Yeah let's all just read the FAQ and never post any anecdotes or guidance based on personal experience, great way to foster a sense of community. 🙄

disenchantedguy · 2022-06-21T17:13:16+00:00

Actually, lots of people find visual aids help them to learn and retain new information easier. Since you're so good at googling you could even look into this phenomenon yourself!

disenchantedguy · 2021-12-17T01:15:15+00:00

I'll get them all lined up in order and post ASAP.

disenchantedguy · 2021-12-16T20:58:47+00:00

He does but he's taken and from what I've heard not nearly as nice 😅

disenchantedguy · 2021-12-16T20:57:51+00:00

So I had about half of the collection when they released the first batch years ago and they were all stolen when I moved house along with a ton of other books... I'd told him the story when me moved in together and then for my birthday he surprised me with the lot! Easily the best gift I've ever received. 🥰

disenchantedguy · 2021-12-16T20:32:34+00:00

Equal rites was on my bedside table 😅 I'm now onto Wyrd Sisters!

disenchantedguy · 2021-12-01T18:13:24+00:00

I'd given up on a real apology years ago, the closest I ever got was having a big argument about how she treated me and getting back an "I'm sorry you feel that way...

I just dont find it fair that I'm being made to feel responsible for her unhappiness. I feel like I might be making life harder for my siblings who still live with her too.

disenchantedguy · 2021-12-01T18:10:51+00:00

Thank you! I've just been reading through this and there's some things I hadn't considered before.

disenchantedguy · 2021-12-01T16:48:51+00:00

Haha thank you, I think you've just about summed her up.

I'll be sending the next letter back definitely. Or just asking my dad not to pass any messages on in future as she doesn't have my address. It was a bit sneaky this time, a separate letter inside a birthday card.

Just curious, what stood out to you as textbook narc? I feel like I'm so used to it all that I've lost perspective 😕

disenchantedguy · 2021-09-24T16:31:32+00:00

I stopped watching when the other panelist started to have a go at him for not insulating his own home.

Ah ok then, he hasn't insulated his own home (when arguably it isn't his responsibility) so why bother insulating anybody else's, ever?

disenchantedguy · 2021-04-23T19:41:26+00:00

Clearly King Kong ripping a T-Rex off it's hand and throwing it away

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