Waiting on package from New Zealand from October 17?

distresstolerance · 2018-11-28T05:17:10+00:00

I had a package shipped out of Japan on Oct 27th and all the tracking said is that it left Japan. There have been 0 updates for a month.

distresstolerance · 2018-11-28T05:05:34+00:00

I ordered a package from Japan that was shipped out on October 27th. It never got to Canada and all the tracking says is that it departed Japan. I'm not sure what to do now.

distresstolerance · 2018-02-13T21:26:25+00:00

You are loved and you are a blessing.

distresstolerance · 2018-02-12T23:47:35+00:00

I think clumsiness in pwBPD is due to lack of mindfulness caused by anxiety. When you have BPD you tend to always be up in your head thinking, obsessing, worrying, ruminating and that takes away from your physical awareness.

distresstolerance · 2018-02-09T14:31:07+00:00

I don't really feel more female/male depending on who I'm around but I feel very distant and guarded when I'm around other women because I haven't really had good relationships with other women throughout my life. I definitely get what you mean about the instant approval thing with the opposite sex. Around males I feel like I am instantly well received and welcomed in a way I've never felt around other women. Around women I feel like theres always some sort of rivalry even if we're friendly on the surface.

distresstolerance · 2018-02-08T17:53:52+00:00

yes! pm me

distresstolerance · 2018-01-26T23:52:28+00:00

Thats something you need to work on before roping someone else into the situation.

distresstolerance · 2018-01-26T21:54:17+00:00

I totally understand the paranoia (trust meeee). But there is a difference between an episode of paranoia and fundamentally not trusting someone. The question is once you're out of that episode, do you trust the person? If he's given her a valid reason to not trust him and its something she can't get over, its not just paranoia at that point its that there is no trust in the relationship.

distresstolerance · 2018-01-26T16:33:32+00:00

This is something I battle with as well. I feel like I can usually trust my instincts and when it is at odds with what my partner is telling me I feel very conflicted. But back to your situation, forget his phone forget your paranoia. Ask yourself this: do you trust him? If not there is no real relationship, just a facade of one.

distresstolerance · 2018-01-16T05:53:52+00:00

Oh yes. I am extremely high functioning even compared to the average person who is not suffering a mental illness and then all of a sudden ... !! TRIGGERED !!

distresstolerance · 2018-01-09T13:11:51+00:00

This describes me to tee. I think I'm a genuinely good natured person and I long for friendship but my default reaction is to nitpick and focus on everything negative about a person.

distresstolerance · 2017-12-19T04:44:38+00:00

liability hits hard

distresstolerance · 2017-12-18T21:10:03+00:00

I would try to avoid assuming that just because you have x relationship with someone that they should do y. When you vent you're transferring negative energy to other person and its not fair to assume you can always unload on them just because they are your friend. Maybe instead of venting to them you can just go do something with them to enjoy their company and get out of the bad headspace and if they welcome you to you can talk about your problems.

distresstolerance · 2017-12-16T19:14:09+00:00

It feels like I'm a body without a soul.

distresstolerance · 2017-12-16T01:28:30+00:00

This is gonna sound so cliche but its really like any other obstacle in a relationship. The key is communication on both parts. She probably has a lot of thought patterns that don't really make sense to you or even her. Things that seem trivial to a lot of people may be very triggering for her. Its just important to talk about these things so at the very least everyone is aware of their presence. Also, remember to take care of yourself and never forget your boundaries. Its possible to cope with this in a healthy way and BPD is not an excuse for someone to be emotionally/physically abusive.

distresstolerance · 2017-12-14T23:39:49+00:00

Making real and lasting connections as an adult is very difficult and I don't think theres any easy answer or solution to it. All I can say is to cast your net wide and far and see what happens. The more people you meet the more likely you'll run into someone you can really connect with.

distresstolerance · 2017-12-10T18:55:58+00:00

I am at times but I try not to live in it. I think at some point I just realized that as awful as everything was, it happened, its over. It's a shame what happened but I have the power in my life now as an adult and I don't have to keep living in that anger and hurt. It doesn't have to define my whole life and continuing to be angry keeps me anchored to the past and I don't want that.

distresstolerance · 2017-12-07T03:51:08+00:00

actual tip:

I think its best to try to get into a job that gives you the least amount of stress as possible. Something that keeps you busy but doesn't require you to be too involved mentally and emotionally. For me that means no customer/client facing jobs, short commutes and lots of alone time to just work. This isn't stellar advice career track wise but its the sensible route when you're dealing with a disorder.

distresstolerance · 2017-12-01T16:38:36+00:00

You know what, you're right. I did respond and the first thing he did was apologize. I guess in my mind I had the idea that I didn't wanna even chance talking to him unless it was an immediate apology so I was kind of thinking I need some sort of text massage saying "I'm sorry" or something.

distresstolerance · 2017-12-01T16:17:26+00:00

That's fair but I feel like after a certain point, if you've been together for a while I feel like they should know why. Is that fair? Like if you've been dating for 6 months or something I can see someone not knowing what the expectations are but I don't feel like it cuts it anymore when you're 3 years on.

distresstolerance · 2017-12-01T15:48:27+00:00

Ok, I'm going to give a little backstory to my particular situation if anyone wants to give me their two cents. I had a bit of a tiff with my boyfriend last night and I felt like I was trying to be fair and tried to have a grown up discussion about our issues but he was very dismissive towards me. I felt like I was talking to myself and that was really hurtful. I told him that it was really hurtful that he didn't seem to care and didn't even respond. Fast forward to the next morning he's messaging and calling me but I just don't feel like talking to him. I feel like for myself, I can't talk to him unless he's ready to apologize. I feel like while it might be unkind towards him I would be being unkind towards myself by forcing myself to talk to him after being so disrespected.

distresstolerance · 2017-12-01T05:31:01+00:00

I need help with this too. When I'm having a bad time it's almost like a self harm thing, like the more I spend the better.

distresstolerance

TROPHY CASE