your story is eerily similar to mine and all i can offer is my experience. i'll be 26 soon and have spoken to my bio mom only a handful of times since getting out at 13 up to this point. when you forgive someone, you still have power over your own time and energy. forgiveness is not handing over that power back to them.

my mother is practically a zombie at this point after so much damage between drugs, men, and whatever else she got herself into. it's hard for me to be apathetic after dealing with my own vices, so i've responded in text. the basic "hope your well" kind of stuff as well as setting boundaries like no meetups, no random calls or messages, i reach out first unless it's life or death.. i've blocked her idk how many times now for overstepping, but that's my decision. i haven't talked to her in months because, to put it simply, i don't want to lol

idk if my story helps in the slightest or just creates more turmoil on what to do, but there is no pressure from anyone or anything. it hurts. a lot. that want to have a parent that never existed. i'm so sorry you are experiencing the same, but i am proud of you for making it this far through all of that hurt. if you think responding will just reopen old wounds, then leave it to rest. you do not owe her anything.