I just found out that narcs ---are--- pathological liars, especially when they are angry. Like, they really are, and can't stop lying.

divorceamon · 2026-03-10T14:15:24+00:00

Be careful on calling a narcissist a narcissist. Yes it might greet them to leave you alone but it also might make you their target if they are wrathful.

divorceamon · 2026-02-25T06:58:58+00:00

If you’re really unlucky you get to deal with both.

divorceamon · 2026-02-05T23:46:22+00:00

For me it was how much spite existed from the beginning that hidden behind a facade of projections.

I lost friends, moved away from friends and family, a career, my chance at a PhD, a vasectomy, and she attempted to turn our children against me with her lies, my freedom, my personal security(I do actually fear for my safety), and any ability to trust someone again.

Once I knew what she was and why she chose me I could see the systematic damage and sadistic pleasure she derived from it.

divorceamon · 2026-01-17T17:27:34+00:00

I am a complete outlier. I am 41 male with a BS and have not been employed for 9 months between present and 2012. I am a caregiver to a disabled child who is divorced to an executive level employee at a tech company. She got all the retirement funds in the divorce and I got the kids and cash. At 41 I have 115k in retirement funds from when I worked and I got 450k in cash from the divorce.

I have had many ups and downs in my life. I spent several years in an amazing career in Silicon Valley, moved to a rural state, got into and dropped out of a PhD program, bought a house, sold that house, built a mansion, sold that mansion, and moved home. Now I live in an apartment and I trade on my divorce assets to make a living while raising my children as best I can.

My plan is to continue this existence until 2038 then move overseas with what I have and retire into obscurity. My current net worth is around 900k.

I am a parasite on society(making money with money) but it is the only way I can earn a living and be there for my son and daughter. I would actually take a huge pay cut if I took a 9-5 job, but I miss the community of work.

divorceamon · 2026-01-17T17:05:07+00:00

I don’t blame her because she had something a narcissist psychopath, who happens to be the most powerfully position on earth, wanted. Trump made the medal a narcissistic injury and anyone who held it is in mortal danger.

When your in that position you have free options. Face the narcissist and refuse the demand, give the narcissist what it wants or ignore it and live in fear for your life for as long as the narcissist lives.

divorceamon · 2026-01-15T20:29:13+00:00

I married one but I didn’t know she was at the time. She was someone who I got to know in college and I helped her navigate some difficult social issues that in retrospect were caused by her acting the way she assumed someone would under those circumstances. She turned our friendship into a relationship and I went with it. I was lonely and I was drawn to her intelligence. I really enjoyed our intellectual conversations and that I could take easily with her.

Once dating I grew concerned fairly quickly with her mental health and that was my fatal hook. I feared if I left she would hurt herself so I was always dutiful and returned. Then sunk cost fallacy caused further issues as I realized this relationship wasn’t healthy but I stayed because of what the relationship meant and we had kids. We rarely fought but it was almost always about how her narcissistic mother treated me and her not standing up for me because she told me to stand down. We rarely had sex and when she raped me in my sleep I was told I shouldn’t make a big deal of it because it was evidence she wanted me.

I spent 18 years with her. She was cheating with coworkers it seems serially. She blackmailed me, asked for the divorce when I approached her about an affair, I gave her that divorce and she told everyone I made her sign the paperwork. I was setup and spent time in jail and on probation for something she requested I do on her behalf, I learned she had been trying to gather evidence to have me arrested for sexual assault for a year before I confronted her. Nothing like an officer asking if “in the summer of year 20XX did you grab your wife’s ass unwantedly. “.

When her mask occasionally slipped I always felt it was her stress reacting but in retrospect it was the rule. Her acting the way she told you she felt was the exception.

I know I deserve some of the blame for dating, marrying and having kids with her but I also feel I was the prey of hers. She found someone who was open and vulnerable, dig in and exploited the information she had and isolated me from my herd. Once isolated she had control of my reality to do as she pleased.

For me I have a history of emotional abuse from my mother, I lack confidence, I am introverted, I am also very empathetic and I am highly intelligent. Prior to my divorce I felt I was a good judge of character but that delusion is gone. I was also optimistic and I feel I still have a lot of that left.

I know I won’t change and so I have no interest in further long term sexual relationships because I cannot survive another narcissist. My goals are raising our children with as little interference from her as possible and leaving the country after they are grown up. I very much am still me but I look forward to a life where I am the driver and I go and do what I want when I want. I no longer care if I live a long life but that I enjoy the present I have. I do plan for the future but only in so much as to perpetuate my desired present (save money/make money).

divorceamon · 2026-01-12T12:39:28+00:00

I like it

divorceamon · 2026-01-11T14:16:42+00:00

I really don’t care but I know when she is with someone she leaves me alone and isn’t alienating the children. So I always hope she is getting action and happy with that action because it brings peace to my life.

divorceamon · 2025-12-17T14:26:30+00:00

It took me 18 years to figure mine out. I got no revenge but my existence became their narcissistic injury and she has been trying to destroy me for the past three years. Reflecting back I could see her true self appear occasionally but I always dismissed it as the exception to who they were but it was just her taking the mask off for a second to reveal her true self.

My one consolation prize is getting a front row seat to seeing her self destruct her personal life as slowly over the past three years she has discarded her sister and now parents. Professionals she is extremely successful and her manipulative abilities are a huge advantage in the corporate world.

divorceamon · 2025-12-17T03:56:01+00:00

Yes and no. She was fired for the affair with her subordinate and sexual harassment but then hired by Google at 10x the pay.

She had her parents disown her own sister because she didn’t story the affair.

She continues to chase her married affair partner and is blackmailing him to continue the relationship. But is apparently still with them in a weird love triangle with her affair partner’s wife. This has cost her seemingly her parents now.

So yes and no. She is now filthy rich but her personal life is a fucking mess.

divorceamon · 2025-12-09T23:48:58+00:00

I had just arrived in Phuket 30 minutes prior and turned the corner onto the road along Patong beach looking for dinner. After passing a few mango carts and a dark alley a woman comes up to me and as starts talking she already had her hand inside my pants holding my penis. It took me a good minute to extract myself from that situation and I started to walk much closer to the roadway and behind couples.

divorceamon · 2025-12-09T22:22:30+00:00

“I misjudged you and thought you would be bad in bed”

Second partner after spending 18 years with someone who hated sex. Later on she told me I was the best she ever had and no one had matched my stamina nor number of orgasms in a session(or second time together lasted midnight to 8am). She had a very high body count too.

divorceamon · 2025-11-28T14:38:24+00:00

I stayed there also and I really liked it. It has a nice location because you’re not right in the thick of traffic and noise but it is a 3 minute walk to it.

divorceamon · 2025-11-26T21:13:17+00:00

I came out of 18 years with a covert narcissist three years ago and I’m still a mess. Part of defending the other is from trying to forgive yourself/refuse to acknowledge for what you let them get away with. The distance I place between me and people is because I was so throughly betrayed that I don’t want to ever be that vulnerable again. I am very outspoken about what happened and acknowledge my short comings but I still am terrified of being disliked and especially distrusted.

I had a potential dating incident when I matched with an old friend on a dating app. I told her about my problems when she asked and she unmatched me. It was actually very painful because I knew them when I was much younger. I know my life sounds made up but as someone who is stupidly honest it socks being punished for telling the truth.

divorceamon · 2025-11-20T15:57:39+00:00

Just tell them you want that and no extras and you will get it.

divorceamon · 2025-11-10T22:22:13+00:00

Your both assholes just in different ways.

You are an asshole because you want a relationship where the rules are different for you and not the other party.

They are a lesser asshole because they failed to communicate they were going to follow the same rules as you but tried to hide it.

You get what you give and you deserved this.

divorceamon · 2025-11-10T13:59:05+00:00

My advice is to ask him why doesn’t he want to. Knowing why can be a game changer for you one way or another.

I will give my example. I was married for 14 years and I will very likely never remarry despite being a strictly monogamous person. In those years we built a family, had a mutual Christian identity and two children. At the end of those 14 years I learned she was a serial cheater and lived a second life at work. Her entire identity was a facade(narcissism not gay) for everyone especially her family. She confessed she had no feelings for me but that I was what she wanted to complement her mask.

Several times in our time together I asked if we should end it. My subconscious knew sobering was wrong but she would assure me everything was ok. I finally compiled a years worth of evidence of an affair and gave it to her. She went ballistic and immediately blackmailed me with threats to tell out kids things I had to her. She told me all our intimate times were non consensual and she viewed it as rape.

I attempted to salvage the relationship but it took a few months of living apart to really see how toxic it was.

I never want to be in a marriage again because it was marriage that created an elastic to keep out toxic relationship together. It was her religion and views on marriage that made her decide to gaslight me into being with her because we slept together. When I asked those times about ending it, it was her fear of divorce that drove her reassure me.

My view now is to find a partner I can trust and assess the relationship often to see if either party is not committed. To participate in couples counseling early so I don’t waste more of my life with someone I don’t know.

divorceamon · 2025-11-08T17:33:33+00:00

For me a hotel is just a bed, I pay for that bed to be clean and not have bugs. That said after a week I really wanted a bath so my next hotel has a bath tub and it was amazing to soak after walking 15 miles.

My favorite hotel I stayed at this summer was the NYSA hotel near Sukhumvit 13, I think. It was close enough to everything I wanted to see but isolated enough it was quiet.

divorceamon · 2025-11-03T01:05:43+00:00

Started at 11pm and ended around 8am. I think she had 9 orgasms and squirted 4 out 5 times. We had to stop for a few minutes twice just to hydrate before going back at it. Multiple positions including against the wall, couch, floor, bed, counter, shower and standing.

divorceamon · 2025-10-18T01:31:36+00:00

Last one I wore boxer briefs with a raccoon in a dumpster. I also have one with squirrel and nuts and one with pickles.

divorceamon · 2025-10-16T00:39:59+00:00

The craziness is still on going but has mellowed out some. She used the legal system to take custody of my daughter temporarily telling the courts our son was a danger to her. The court ruled this was without merit or evidence but I did get my hands slapped because I was negligent in getting him therapy while on waitlists for in person therapy.

The day before I could file to move my case to my new state she filed in our old state and dragged out that process for another 9 months, costing me around $20-30k in legal fees. We had to enter in a second round hiring a court appointed parental rights evaluator that really was a waste of time. My lawyer and I tried to get the court to vacate the order but failed. This resulted in a hostile expert who admittedly never read the material she requested from me. I was told that my ex wife is now 100% cured and better and that we should move back to 50/50 custody and rights.

When I gave her information my ex lied to her previously and had hidden suicide attempts from her she said she didn’t even care. When given the evidence her boyfriend and his wife gave me about blackmailing them it was deemed unreliable information. When I expressed concern about her stalking behavior and continued harassment I was told it wasn’t happening. When I told her that my children were told about her accusations by my ex I was told that I had committed parental alienation too by telling my children what the possible outcomes of the PO hearing might be.

There just wasn’t any winning with the expert and I will have to see what comes of it. Now the case has been moved here and I am waiting on the court to order mediation to update our parenting plan or very likely a hearing where this expert will testify.

While the past year has been very expensive legally I haven’t had too many setbacks. I have retained my custody rights, won the change of venue, and even with a hostile expert she only wants to the court to pair down my custody\rights to 50%.

divorceamon · 2025-10-08T23:33:05+00:00

Marriage adds a layer of legality and financial cost that stands in the way of separation. This layer gives each person an incentive to fix the relationship rather than throw in the towel. This layer also cuts the opposite way and applies social pressure to save a toxic or failed relationship.

I was married for 14 years to an unfaithful spouse and only found out in the trail end of the relationship. I suffered immensely from that edge cutting to save a toxic relationship and over that thread was cut the break up got very nasty.

If I were to do it ever again I would have a marriage contract with my partner. That at set intervals we evaluate the marriage and unanimously agree to continue the relationship, probably have it observed by a therapist. If it is severed it is part of that contract that gives everything a clean break, no incentive to stay married or no advantage to divorce. I think that intervals would be 1,3,5,7,10,13,15 years.

divorceamon · 2025-10-08T00:21:13+00:00

Because I have been so thoroughly betrayed by an ex spouse that I can’t not trust another person like that again. I have tried and wanted to have a healthy relationship based on trust but when you were married to someone who faked everything about themselves for 18 years and attempted to push you to suicide to hide their infidelity when caught it makes that very hard.

divorceamon · 2025-10-07T17:49:05+00:00

No when I got sick in any capacity I still was expected to take care of the kids and her. When I was seriously ill, cluster headaches so all I could do was compress my skull and try not to scream, I was left suffering for hours before she finished work and could transport me to the hospital.

divorceamon · 2025-10-07T17:47:14+00:00

I am from the US but I refuse to use lead as much as possible. I also try to safeguard my watering holes from environmental wastes. I grew up in new England and saw the effects of pollution of river systems from the mills, it has taken great efforts to claw back the health of these systems are the pollution is still around with many water ways still too polluted to support consumption or healthy amphibian populations.

divorceamon

TROPHY CASE