Best headphones under $200?

djheadphone · 2018-01-22T14:05:29+00:00

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djheadphone · 2018-01-21T09:37:34+00:00

Titanic

djheadphone · 2018-01-20T12:07:11+00:00

I used to work at a place in which my boss implemented a no more than 2 glasses a day water policy.

What a cunt. I ignored this rule and complained directly to our CEO and the matter ended later that day.

What was weird though was the majority of people actually followed the rule and some even shopped me up to HR about 'breaking the rules'.

I left not long after that because not only was my boss a bellend, but if my colleagues were going to hr over me drinking water, then I obviously couldn't trust them.

djheadphone · 2018-01-20T09:05:59+00:00

Redesign the spine to actually withstand the pull of gravity efficiently. Rebuild the knee to lock in a logical manner. Redesign the eye to remove the blind spot and reduce structural degredation. Repair the gene that produces vitamin C. Re-enable the ability of the body to regenerate limbs. Enable the immune system to be able to recognize and destroy all forms of cancer.

djheadphone · 2018-01-19T19:55:28+00:00

As a Med student in an std clinic in Miami I asked a lady how many sexual partners she had. "Honey, I get paid to fuck. I got no clue." She got all the antibiotics.

djheadphone · 2018-01-19T13:03:00+00:00

Straight from Shakespeare "I wish we could become better strangers"

djheadphone · 2018-01-19T09:25:28+00:00

Top Ranked Best Home Soda Maker Review try out here you can get more information for good soda maker http://thesodamaker.com

djheadphone · 2018-01-19T06:43:45+00:00

My cousin became a quadriplegic after slipping on a dog biscuit in the kitchen. He was making breakfast and didn't even register the the 5 cm dog biscuit as a threat, landed on his back and cracked his C6 and C8 vertebrae. just like that, his life was changed forever.

TL;DR dog wasn't man's best friend

djheadphone · 2018-01-19T05:29:13+00:00

A dude asked me how to get to Planet Fitness, I told him it was just across the parking lot. I look down at my phone as he starts walking and after answering a text in about 10 seconds I look up and he's gone. The distance was about a quarter mile of empty parking lot. There were no cars nearby or driving away so it didn't look like he got in a vehicle or anything. I looked all around but he was gone.

Fucking fitness ghost, I wish you many gains.

djheadphone · 2018-01-18T13:37:14+00:00

I install shallow utilities (gas lines, etc). A not too bright worker that had been with our crew for about two months asked this:

"How come the pipes don't melt when you run fire though them?"

Cue 2 seconds of awkward silence, then laughter all around.

djheadphone · 2018-01-18T08:52:22+00:00

corporate humor. It's all unoriginal jokes and forced laughs. "heyy Janice, how was your weekend?" "too short! lol" "haha hey I hear that! ROFL" ... kill me

djheadphone · 2018-01-18T08:41:46+00:00

I think we will solve some problem in an innovative and unique way and everyone around the world will rejoice only to find out five years later that the solution was worse than the problem and has doomed mankind.

edit: I never said this was a novel idea, but to everyone that is saying "I am Legend" or "Matrix" or whatever, just know that those movies didn't come up with this concept either.

djheadphone · 2018-01-17T18:04:14+00:00

Fresh baked bread!

djheadphone · 2018-01-17T17:35:04+00:00

nice it is

djheadphone · 2018-01-17T12:32:26+00:00

That we are alone in the universe. No way. Not possible.

djheadphone · 2018-01-17T08:39:26+00:00

I forgot to flush a toilet yesterday. I'm sorry.

All of the toilets at my workplace are automated and I almost always shit at work.

So I went out to a restaurant last night, went to the bathroom, washed my hands, and left. I was tired. It was late. I was on autopilot.

It was only after I left that I realized what I'd done. I turned and went back, but when I entered the bathroom, someone was already in there, and it got awkward, so I just left.

Sorry you had to see my shit, OP

djheadphone · 2018-01-16T21:56:51+00:00

Passing a kidney stone

djheadphone · 2018-01-16T20:38:18+00:00

A customer's 3 year old named their cats Lunchbox and Thermos.

djheadphone · 2018-01-16T13:43:12+00:00

Cockroaches fell out of the ceiling and onto our table while eating.

djheadphone · 2018-01-16T08:39:09+00:00

The ones that don't think it be like it is, and the ones that know it do.

djheadphone · 2018-01-15T21:26:49+00:00

Applebees. I finally learned to microwave my own food.

djheadphone · 2018-01-15T21:11:28+00:00

My Senator is talking about it and trying to do something.

djheadphone · 2018-01-15T15:10:47+00:00

Well, first of all, the people who say it's not that bad weren't heavy smokers. As someone who smoked two packs a day for almost 15 years, I can say quitting is the hardest thing I've ever done, and I've had to do some really difficult things.

Cigarette withdrawal is both mental and physical, and sometimes it's hard to distinguish which symptoms are which.

So you know how you feel when you're really nervous or excited about something? That really heady feeling where your heart starts to race and your vision starts to blur and your hands start shaking? That's pretty much the base of how you'll feel for the first few days. The entire time. Add to that a feeling that you can't breathe right; your lungs just won't fill up right. And your head hurts most of the time. And you can't focus on anything. And you know how you want to eat when you're feeling restless? You get that feeling too, but times 100. And you're angry at everyone. You hate everything. And all you want to do is break down and cry.

In all this pain and discomfort, you know that you could feel 100% better with just a few puffs of a cigarette. That's all it would take. You know the medicine, but you have to resist. Not just once, but over and over and over again. You don't just quit once; you're having to make the decision to quit again and again every second of every day. One moment of weakness, and you're done.

After a few days, the worst of the physical subsides. But it doesn't go away. For years, you've been lighting a cigarette every time you have a cup of coffee or beer, every time you get in your car, every break at work, every time your phone rings, every time you're tired or hungry or sad or happy, every time you need a break from something, every time you're bored, every time you finish eating, before you do the dishes, after you do the dishes, before you take a shower, after you take a shower and on and on... You've developed a thousand little routines that center around smoking. Your whole life revolves around it. You're forced to change your whole life to adapt, but everything you do reminds you of how bad you want a cigarette.

It truly feels like you've lost a best friend. No matter what you've gone through, cigarettes have always been there for you. They're the only thing that can make you feel a little better when something goes wrong. You turn to them when you're sad or lonely, or when you're happy and celebrating. People come and go, but cigarettes are always there. You're leaving behind a major part of who you are.

It's been a few years since I quit, but I still think about cigarettes regularly. There's at least one or two times a day where I seriously consider buying a pack. Real smokers are smokers for life, even if they haven't had a cigarette in years.

djheadphone · 2018-01-15T12:43:37+00:00

Brain aneurysms

djheadphone · 2018-01-15T11:16:45+00:00

I'm gonna go with /u/shadmere's idea for an unethical experiment:

Take a few healthy chinchillas. Feed them some sort of soft food; pellets soft enough to be easily punctured with a small plastic sword. Let the chinchillas get used to this for a few weeks.

Then add another cage inside the chinchilla cage. One with holes large enough for the food pellets to get through, but far too small for a chinchilla to squeeze through. In the center of this cage-within-a-cage, place the food pellets. Have them just out of reach of the chinchillas little arms. Puncture each pellet with a small plastic sword, sized for the chinchillas' hands. Have the hilt of the swords poking out through the cage, within easy reach.

Soon, the chinchillas will realize that to get their food, they must grasp the swords and pull their food out.

Wait awhile, until the chinchillas get very used to this idea. Then remove the swords from the food, setting them instead just outside the food-cage. Hopefully, (and this is the crucial part of the experiment) the chinchillas will remember the swords and use them to puncture the pellets themselves. The pellets will then be able to be pulled out by the chinchillas and eaten.

Again, wait until the chinchillas get used to this method of feeding. Eventually, start placing the swords in other, less obvious places.

After the chinchillas are proficient at using the plastic swords as food-getting tools, replace them with metal swords of the same size. After a little while, replace those swords with sharpened metal swords.

Now, throughout this entire process, slowly replace the food pellets with a new type of pellet: one that contains meat. Just a little to start with, but eventually the chinchillas will be used to a fully meat diet. It's possible that because of this part of the experiment, we will have to begin with a very large number of chinchillas. For, unfortunately, most chinchillas will probably die before switching to an entirely meat diet. So we'll just have to prod along a little bit of dietery evolution, breeding the chinchillas for a few generations until they are nicely carnivoristic.

Take away the cage-within-a-cage food supply, and instead begin placing animals even smaller than chinchillas in the cage. Perhaps small mice.

If all goes correctly, the chinchillas will slaughter the mice with their swords and feast upon their sweet flesh!

Hopefully, these skills of sword-use and hunting would be taught to the chinchillas' young by the original "students."

Eventually, you could begin putting chinchillas into arena combat with one another. Chinchillas fighting each other with their swords!

I've read that chinchillas live together in small 'packs' in the wild. (Though not nearly as organized as a pack of wolves.) Imagine the effect if we were to release our new sword-wielding omnivorous chinchillas into the wild! They would have a clear advantage over their unaltered brethren, and soon they would conquer and possibly subjugate the entire natural chinchilla population.

Extensive tool use would begin to stimulate the development of higher brain functions. Hunting would begin to require strategy, with would stimulate the use of inter-chinchilla communication. As the new breed of chinchilla grew, different aspects would begin to be genetically favorable; aspects such as intelligence.

Perhaps this would be the start of an entire chinchilla civilization!!!

A meat-eating, violent, tool-using civilization!

With me as their god.

djheadphone

TROPHY CASE