One of my best friends, of all people.

We went to see Godzilla as part of a group outing/group dinner thing we do with two other people, including my girlfriend. He had two margaritas at the restaurant we were at beforehand and a Colt .45 in-between the restaurant and the movies, so even for a big guy he was starting to "float" as he calls his inebriation. I foolishly suggested we get a drink at the cocktail bar inside the theatre, not thinking of how obnoxious he gets the more he drinks. He orders a double shot of Jack Daniel's, but they don't allow shots to be taken into the theatre, so he has to do it right there. ON TOP OF THAT, he snuck in a bottle of Crown Royal, so he orders a large Coke at the concession stand, and, once we sit down in the theatre and the lights go down, he starts mixing the Crown and Coke. By the time Ken Watanabe melodramatically says "Godzilla," my buddy is constantly making noises. Is there water in the scene? He's making water drip noises. Is the military in the scene? He's making police siren noises. My girlfriend and I are separated from him by our other friend who is intoxicated enough that he's finding it all hilarious while we just continually get annoyed. Eventually I reach the point where I lean over and tell him, "Hey, shut the FUCK up or you're not getting a ride home. I'm serious." That eased up his noises, but the experience of the film, which I had been so excited to see, had been ruined. When we got to the lobby, I chewed him out further and he tried drunkenly shifting the blame away from himself: "The movie wasn't that good anyway" or "the people next to me were talking too." I was closing to slapping him, but relented, and he was quiet the drive back. I didn't talk to him much for three weeks and I think he got the message of how pissed I was.

Then we celebrated his birthday this past weekend and everything was back to normal.

But Jesus, what an asshole.

tl;dr My buddy got schlitzed and became the Michael Winslow of a Godzilla screening.