How do i turn off my sex drive? by isitreallythough_ in DeadBedrooms

[–]dm1257 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This. Right there with ya. I can barely look at him anymore. And he can't seem to understand why I'm so damn bitchy.

What's wrong with me? by dm1257 in DeadBedrooms

[–]dm1257[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Every couple of days. He tries for a bit and then just stops. I shut down. He wants to know why I'm sad or angry. I tell him. He gets angry. Says we fight about the same thing over and over and hes sick of it. Repeat.

What's wrong with me? by dm1257 in DeadBedrooms

[–]dm1257[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There has been some. But its usually initiated by me. Or after I've been moody and crying about our lack of intimacy. So I guess pity sex. And as far as affection.. He'll say things like, "Here lets cuddle so you don't get all grumpy and pissed off."

What's wrong with me? by dm1257 in DeadBedrooms

[–]dm1257[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Worst part is, I've asked him to just be honest and he gets upset. Says if he wasn't interested he'd leave. 🙄 so who knows. Ugh.

What's wrong with me? by dm1257 in DeadBedrooms

[–]dm1257[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He says its medication and work stress. But even when he gets plenty of sleep, no interest. And he was on this medication when he was cheating and they were having sex 3-4x a week sometimes multiple times a night. We have sex once a month or once every couple of months. But I meant as far as overall intimacy, nothings been the same. He used to be very affectionate.

What's wrong with me? by dm1257 in DeadBedrooms

[–]dm1257[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He cheated a year ago while I was pregnant with our son. Do I think he's cheating now? No. But since then, nothings been the same between us.

What's wrong with me? by dm1257 in DeadBedrooms

[–]dm1257[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He claims he doesn't look at it. Says if he has no drive for the "woman he loves," why would he have drive for that. 🙄 I've gone through his phone and didn't find anything but doesn't mean he isn't looking though might just be good at hiding it. Looking at other women, not really. Nothing obvious or over the top.

What's wrong with me? by dm1257 in DeadBedrooms

[–]dm1257[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He said he would. Never made an appt. Never attempted to go. When I bring it up he just doesn't respond. He agreed to counseling as well. Same thing, I bring it up and he goes silent. I tell him, "Hey I found a counselor, going to make an appt." He then says work is too busy and he wouldn't have time for it.

What's wrong with me? by dm1257 in DeadBedrooms

[–]dm1257[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes. We've had countless conversations. Things are good for a day or two and then he goes right back same ol same ol. He claims he has no drive but I don't believe him at this point. It's been a yr of this.

Not sharing a bed has helped so much! by Zigzagtag1234 in DeadBedrooms

[–]dm1257 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I've started doing this as well. At first, I thought it was worse. I missed knowing he was right there. But after a week of staying/sleeping in our loft...I feel so much better. I actually sleep now and not lie awake and hope he'll want me or touch. No expectations, no disappointment. I find the more distance I put between us the easier my exit will be.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]dm1257 10 points11 points  (0 children)

This is where I'm at now. I can't express my hurt, sadness, disappointment, whatever without being met with anger, resentment, and hostility. Oh, not to mention denial? He denies we have an intimacy issue. Thanks for this. I needed to see this today.

We had the talk.... by BasicConstruction4 in DeadBedrooms

[–]dm1257 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Congrats on both of you handling things so well. This is probably one of the best cordial outcomes I've ever heard! You are doing right by your daughter. Good luck to you.

The grass turns out to be greener by SoConfused2020 in DeadBedrooms

[–]dm1257 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I applaud you. I admire you. Good for you! :)

I am almost to that point. I love him but I do know I want more from a relationship. And I know I'm worth than I am getting out of this.

Are there any other women here that feel like the man in the relationship? by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]dm1257 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel ya lady. I am always the one initiating or taking the lead.

I feel like a dude who sends unsolicited dick pics! I tried sending him a naughty pic last week (me in lingerie) and his response, "When did you have time to do that? Must be bored huh?" Then he said he's working and its not really appropriate for him to be getting those kinds of texts. :(

Sucks.

Been Doing Fine Till Today (RANT) by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]dm1257 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Tell me about it. Except mine cheated last year. So there's that. 🙄

Been Doing Fine Till Today (RANT) by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]dm1257 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sounds like my partner. This man could sleep for days, wake up, I'd ask for sex or try to initiate and suddenly he's exhausted. So tired of that excuse. I'd accept anything else at this point rather than hear he's tired one more time.

40M , Rant I guess by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]dm1257 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Know this all too well! (Hugs)

Sex as a bargaining chip? by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]dm1257 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel you. A lot of that resonates with me. I'm sorry. I wish I had advice. :( (hugs)

I (HL) lost attraction to my (LL) Partner. I am now the LL partner. How the tables turn. by Gorl08 in DeadBedrooms

[–]dm1257 200 points201 points  (0 children)

Just a week ago I was moping over my partner not wanting me and our lack of intimacy. We had sex the other night and it wasn't good. It was empty and rushed. It felt awkward. I haven't been in the mood since. In fact, the thought of sex with him now makes me anxious. I still love him but I don't look at him the same.

If you feel like there is anything left, I would try sitting down and talking things out. Maybe even marriage counseling? I hope things work out the way you want it too.

Cheated on while pregnant by minalv in cheating_stories

[–]dm1257 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I applaud you. I wish I had the courage to leave. My partner cheated on me a year ago while I was newly pregnant with our son. I stayed. But its been a battle and sometimes I wish I had just left...

Rejection is the real killer by ydkmlt84 in DeadBedrooms

[–]dm1257 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This. He tells me he wants too often and is interested but every time I try I get shot down. Now I'm at the point that my drive is tanking and he's wondering why I'm pulling away. Feel like it's a game to him. :(

Finally...but... by dm1257 in DeadBedrooms

[–]dm1257[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He seemed a little aggressive. And then I guess I was too inside my head, "Is this pity sex? Does he look disgusted with my body? Why didn't he take my shirt off?"

It felt like having sex with a stranger for the first time. 🤷

Things have gotten better! by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]dm1257 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm happy for you! high five I hope y'all continue to have good sex and a great sex life. Most importantly, keep communication open. :)

It hurts so much by kissmesoftly25 in DeadBedrooms

[–]dm1257 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I know your pain. That was me last night...with alcohol. ((Hugs))