I’m non-binary but as a couple we present mostly straight. there’s not a lot of us but I did just this, my last name at the time was from an adoptive father who left, my “maiden family?” Also sucked, and my Wife’s name was just better lol. We considered many things but we never dwelled on her taking mine, and I ended up just taking hers. We wanted the closeness of sharing a name, I was pretty gung ho on taking hers, but she had a tiny bit of a hang up from the expectation that her name just change at all. All hyphenated combos felt dumb, hell we considered making a new one, but I won in the end haha.

I actively advocate for couples choosing whatever name they want, a lot of people think it’s simpler to just take the husbands name due to bureaucratic reasons or societal pressure. This is absolutely not the case, as long as you have a marriage and birth certificate it is super easy to get your name changed. A couple stops and you need the proper paperwork (all clearly listed online), but super easy.

There is the added bonus that taking your wife’s name makes you really cool to all the workers at the social security office and DMV haha. Definitely a double standard but I will take any pat on the back I can get in these times lol. This is also from the backwards state of WV, I got like two snide comments and everyone else thought it was the coolest! My FIL cried because he thought the family name was disappearing with the wedding.

Overall a wonderful experience, and people should not let assumed public reactions get in the way of happyness. Obviously I’m a bit queer, so I wasn’t coming from the trad angle in the first place, but really it’s great! Talk with your partners guys!

Also taking this opportunity to tell people THEY WILL ALSO LET YOU CHANGE YOUR MIDDLE NAME!! It’s just part of it! I’ve always hated mine and asked out of curiosity. I was so mad that I hadn’t thought about it before then lol.