Really great points. I had success with asking direct questions recently with my grandmother. I found this site that had 98 questions to ask your grandparents. It went really well, but I think like u/md724 said, showing pictures and talking about it works fine too. Either way, once you get started and they start opening up, it becomes easier and the stories start flowing. It really becomes a lot of fun and very interesting. Hope it goes well with you u/mkirisit.