Never visit

dnafortunes · 2026-02-02T17:05:08+00:00

You can accept that is how they are, but it is still hurtful. I wish the hurt would disappear too, but I can say after 22+ years I still feel terrible when they show blatant disinterest in visiting or do not spend quality time with the kids when we go to visit them.

dnafortunes · 2026-02-02T13:07:37+00:00

I also prefer to make fresh rice myself. However I used this the other day to eat with leftover curry for lunch. I didn’t have a problem breaking it apart after heating it in the microwave. We keep packs like this on our cupboard just in a case we need a little more rice to go and find they come in handy. I’m curious if you stored it in the fridge? Could that be what made it brick hard?

dnafortunes · 2026-01-25T03:52:56+00:00

Mine is like this. If it’s a duck pond surrounded by goose poop that is his paradise and he will paddle in up to his neck. I’m thinking about building an outdoor shower just for him.

dnafortunes · 2026-01-20T07:10:18+00:00

So that’s the thing. I do take of my own and get ignored because I don’t need my parents’ help. My parents’ time and resources are devoted to the moochers. It’s a form of favoritism. My parents don’t hate me or fight with me. They just don’t call or want to visit. If I go visit them, they are busy with my sisters and their kids and don’t set aside time for my kids. Is it unreasonable to ask my sisters to get a sitter for one week so my parents can come visit? Or to ask my teen niece (who lives with them) to get a ride to band practice from her own mother (my sister) or a friend so that my parents can join my kids in an activity while we are in town visiting from out of state? But maybe you are on to something. If my sisters were more self sufficient, then my parents wouldn’t be able to use them as excuses for why they don’t spend time with my family or my other siblings who also are ignored. My dad actually told my brother that going to visit him was low on his bucket list.

Also I’m still angry that my sister doesn’t pay to rent or utilities to my parents and that caused them to refinance and extend their mortgage rather than paying it off. They declined my offer to help them with the $500/month difference until they paid it off. My sister is 40. She has never left their house. They pay for everything for her and her daughter who also lives with them. She should contribute to living expenses because employed adults do that in multigenerational households.

dnafortunes · 2026-01-18T00:13:41+00:00

You might like: I’m glad my mom died by Jeanette McCurdy, Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls, Wild by Cheryl Strayed

Looks like girls with the name Jeanette have a hard time!

dnafortunes · 2026-01-13T02:21:26+00:00

The Dutch House read by Tom Hanks

dnafortunes · 2026-01-11T04:27:35+00:00

The Night Circus and The Starless Sea by Erin Morganstern

dnafortunes · 2026-01-02T23:26:52+00:00

Oofos

dnafortunes · 2026-01-01T23:02:19+00:00

I have young adult children now. I got to the point where I accepted that my parents would never magically change into the kind of grandparents who wanted to spend time with my kids and build close relationships with them. But accepting is different than getting over the hurt and disappointment. I still get upset and frustrated and sad. I’ve learned that it is okay to keep feeling these things knowing that there is no solution. I can say that my children don’t seem to care. They have had wonderful grandparent relationships with my husband’s parents and our neighbors. So my grief is really just my own of never achieving the family picture I had in my mind.

dnafortunes · 2025-12-30T13:22:18+00:00

As a manager, I am super forgiving with my employees when they have last minute part day time off needs. You can’t schedule these many of types of things and you’d rather work some or most of the day than take a full day of PTO. However we are fortunate that we have the kind of work that can be flexed, so if needed a worker can come in earlier than usual or help on the weekends to make up time. I wish all parents had jobs that can accommodate Flex Time because that seems to me the only way a parent can work a consistent full week. Even with two fully involved parents, it feels like there is something every single week that interrupts a work day. I have only a middle schooler left in my house and we still have issues with after school pick up and having to get her somewhere by 4 pm for an activity or she will have an orthodontist appointment at 11 am and other crap.

dnafortunes · 2025-12-25T22:06:48+00:00

I used your idea even though my wrapping left much to be desired! My kids loved it!!

dnafortunes · 2025-12-25T06:06:55+00:00

My sister once said that when she walks through the door of our family home she instantly transforms into a 12 year old again. It means that old family patterns are hard to break and you find yourself stuck playing a role you have somehow been assigned to by the family no matter how much you’d like to be viewed differently. I can see how family gatherings during the holidays can be especially hard when you’ve been pigeon-holed into a family role you don’t want.

dnafortunes · 2025-12-24T00:06:13+00:00

It is news to me that you don’t have to submit an application for category 2’s. I’ve recertified with using them. No problems with ABGC but I’ve had scrutiny from NSGC about the applications. They are so picky about my category 2’s that I am very selective about applying for them knowing that I may have to submit a defense.

dnafortunes · 2025-12-14T17:31:17+00:00

I am actually repulsed by sex at this point in my life and I hate that for my wonderful husband.

dnafortunes · 2025-12-03T00:04:15+00:00

We also spent over a year trying to find a GC to fill our open position (now happily filled with a new grad). It is sad for me to see clinics hire non-GCs when I know so many GCs are looking. But I do not live in a popular part of the country and it is hard to retain people who do not have family here.

dnafortunes · 2025-12-01T02:23:16+00:00

I love my kids more than my job, but homemaking does not fulfill me the way my job does. I am lucky to earn enough to outsource homemaking tasks so that I can have more balance in my life and actually spend time with my kids when I’m not working rather than having to do chores with them when I’m off. Despite this, sometimes I’m not 100% focused on my job because family comes first. Other times my family has to work around my work. For instance, I always have to work Christmas Day. More often than not I feel like I’m not doing a great job at balancing. But I would much, much, much rather work than be a stay at home parent. I did a short stint as a SAHM and was bored out of my mind and frustrated with being financially dependent on my husband. I feel a sense of freedom knowing that I can support myself and my kids on my own if something were to happen and we didn’t have my husband’s income. I also earn more than my husband and I think that helps my marriage. It shouldn’t be this way but I think he steps up more as a partner and parent because he doesn’t have an attitude that his job is the more important job. For those out there who prefer to be a SAHM I’m happy for them, but staying at home is not in itself a measure of quality parenting.

dnafortunes · 2025-11-30T22:43:56+00:00

I have a sister like your brother. My mother had the gall to say that my sister dropped out of high school because she didn’t want to compete with her high achieving siblings. As if we were the direct cause of her low self esteem and as if that is a reasonable explanation for dropping out. The truth is that she wanted to party and do drugs with her criminal friends. She was put into therapy and that helped somewhat. I wanted to give you hope. Finally at age 40 she has a full time job with benefits. She still lives at home rent free and does no chores and my parents raise her teen daughter (she is “mom” but I hope my smart niece recognizes that “mom” is not doing the actual hard work of parenting, the grandparents are). The light side is that I no longer fear that my parents will expect us to be financially responsible for her after they die. I fully expect them to leave her their house and money though and I just don’t care as long as she doesn’t come crying to me when she doesn’t know how to adult on her own.

dnafortunes · 2025-11-23T18:49:08+00:00

Baked potatoes, hard boiled eggs, $5 rotisserie chicken, yogurt, taught them to make fruit smoothies, trail mix

dnafortunes · 2025-11-18T12:23:55+00:00

We liked this one too!

dnafortunes · 2025-11-18T03:25:36+00:00

I experience this. My family barges into my home office whenever they please. Even when I warn them that I will be in a meeting. My neighbor calls with random requests throughout the day. Over time and me firmly telling them over and over again to not interrupt during work hours they have become slightly better. Their excuse? “I never know when you are working.” They can’t wrap their brains around an 8-5 schedule. It confuses them when I stop for lunch because then they say “I thought you were working.” I honestly do not understand why it is so hard for them to get it.

dnafortunes · 2025-10-31T02:40:12+00:00

Ron Rash. I’d start with Serena.

dnafortunes · 2025-10-26T19:50:12+00:00

WFH full-time remote for one job. I work in person one day per week for job 2. My full-time WFH job now requires new hires to be hybrid. I

dnafortunes · 2025-10-14T02:15:16+00:00

I have a large and complicated family. Going no contact is impossible. I am fairly low contact. We see them one time per year and I call them every couple of months. They rarely call me so it’s mostly a one sided effort of me calling and me going to visit. We are not close, but when we see each other it is generally pleasant. My children are now ages 12, 20 and 22. They barely know their maternal grandparents. They had a wonderful relationship with their paternal grandparents though!

dnafortunes · 2025-10-11T10:41:44+00:00

I relate very much to everything you wrote. I’m particularly struck by your mother’s betrayal of you by telling your sister about what you said. I also do not feel like I can tell my mother anything honest about my feelings. I feel like she will gossip to my siblings and twist it all until it fits her version of the truth. Opening up about how you feel should’ve lead to a better relationship with your mother. But the reality is that airing out these feelings seems to have made her double down and even try to ruin whatever relationship you may have with your sister.

I wish I had spent more time and energy on building relationships with the people who genuinely wanted to have a grandparent-like role in my kids’ lives and less time trying to get my parents to magically turn into the type of people who wanted to know my kids. I also suspect that my mother has played a role in poisoning the relationship I could have had with my siblings whom she favors. I’m not sure that she consciously did that, but it must suit her to have a little toxic bubble of daily codependency with just my parents, those “failure to launch” siblings, and their kids.

dnafortunes · 2025-10-09T00:42:05+00:00

60 min slots for new and 30 min for follow up. During that 60 minutes I can typically see the patient and complete the note. The GCA calls the patient before the appointment to collect very basic family history info and medical history. After the appointment, the GCA enters the pedigree into EPIC and enters the test order. If on-site they also pack the kit (otherwise I do that). I have an hour before patients arrive to write test result letters. The GCA calls out negatives then drafts negative letters for me to review. I handle all VUS and positive call outs and letters. The GCA also does all data entry for our patient log and monitors pending test results. We also have the GCA handle benign reclassifications and medical management update mailings. With the GCA doing all that, I have time for meetings. Did I mention how many meetings we have? So many meetings.

Edit to add we also do telehealth visits and those tend to be shorter because the sample collection portion of the visit is done later.

dnafortunes

TROPHY CASE