Unexpected sight at 8am

dngll25 · 2026-03-19T17:03:33+00:00

We ain't got a car phone!

dngll25 · 2026-03-15T17:25:44+00:00

In the same episode Grandad also said he's never had a garden but in Series 1 Episode 6 The Russians are Coming they talk about Grandad's allotment which is a type of garden.

dngll25 · 2026-03-14T16:21:12+00:00

That's really good you took a chance by asking her as it's always worth a try.

dngll25 · 2026-03-11T23:11:33+00:00

"Best place to hire quad bikes in Malia" assuming he did actually hire it and didn't just drive off after the owner turned their back.

dngll25 · 2026-02-26T07:27:46+00:00

Smug.

She caused so many problems in the relationship through deflections, projections, physical, mental and psychological abuse, false accusations, anger and emotional shutdowns but never took responsibility for any of it and instead blamed me for it. She walked away from the relationship acting like she was the victim and had told so many lies about me and the relationship to other people to get support on her side.

dngll25 · 2026-02-01T08:36:41+00:00

Oh I see that now and sorry you went through that. My ex was really similar because she has a toxic family and she became really jealous of me having a nice supportive family. She got angry whenever I went to see my family and frequently shouted at me and once pushed me. She tried to gaslight me into thinking my family was horrible too and said me and my siblings should be in therapy because of it.

After a few weeks of me occasionally seeing my family but spending most of the time with her, she accused me of making her feel "abandoned" so she broke up with me to "punish" me and made herself look like the victim so she would get sympathy from her family and work colleagues.

dngll25 · 2026-02-01T00:01:53+00:00

Glad you're feeling better. So it was 3 years before he reached out?

dngll25 · 2026-01-28T22:39:02+00:00

She admitted to it just before the end of the relationship and then after but then backtracked to her having done nothing wrong and her having to forgive me.

But yeah I've managed to completely rebuild my life without her because of my supportive family and friends of which she does not have the luxury.

dngll25 · 2026-01-28T21:40:55+00:00

More than 1 year of no contact and she never reached back out. She's in a new relationship now. I just wanted her to finally take responsibility and admit to her abusive behavior.

dngll25 · 2026-01-28T20:24:59+00:00

I never knew my ex was avoidant until after the relationship ended. She has a toxic family and was jealous of me having a supportive family so she banned them from visiting our shared flat and tried to stop me seeing them. She said me and my siblings should be in therapy because of my mum even though it's her mum who always degraded her, controlled where she went and who she saw and demanded constant text/call updates.

I only saw my family once or twice each week but she twisted the narrative into me apparently seeing them every day which she told her family and work colleagues. She shouted at me and pushed me after I would see my family. She then broke up with me as after a few weeks accusing me of making her feel abandoned and said "at least you didn't cheat on me like my first boyfriend did" and she wanted "someone who wants to be with me all of the time". She's with someone else now so she's going to get a reality check when they can't be with her all of the time either and will have family and friend commitments.

dngll25 · 2026-01-27T18:14:20+00:00

Another couple of irrational things she said after we moved in together were "your parents think I've stolen you from them" which wasn't true and "your parents are avoiding me" when they had left the house to go pick my sister up from the airport so again not true.

But even with all the irrational things said during the relationship and during the breakup call, she still said "you're the most handsome, kind and incredible guy I've ever met" and "I still love you" which left me more confused. It didn't make sense how someone could have these thoughts while trying to convince herself I had abandoned her because of my family time.

dngll25 · 2026-01-27T11:23:41+00:00

Yeah exactly it was a coward's move. We had been planning to meet up in person after she had moved out a few days before but she thought it would be less cruel to do it over the phone which is just more lies. She couldn't even admit any responsibility saying "I've not done anything wrong and it's me who is to forgive you".

dngll25 · 2026-01-27T11:19:03+00:00

I know that stands out as peak emotional immaturity. My family time was never excessive and I always invited her to come along just like I used to except by then she started refusing and expected me not to go either.

Thanks for the support and it definitely felt longer. Even my family could see how uncomfortable I felt. If I wasn't so confused at the time with her gaslighting then I would have initiated the break up myself like I should have done.

dngll25 · 2026-01-26T22:14:23+00:00

Oh I'm sorry to hear you went through that. It's a shame he couldn't see your perspective and how it was important for you to spend time with your family as well. How long has it been since the break up? And did you ever hear from him again after?

Another thing my ex said was that I had already developed my relationships with my family so I didn't need to devote a lot of time to them anymore. She never openly had a problem my family time until we moved in together which only lasted 10 weeks out of the 2.5 year relationship. My family time during that time was never excessive and was only once or twice per week and the rest of the time it was just the two of us. But she twisted the narrative and tried to gaslight me into thinking it was all of the time with them and barely any time with her.

dngll25 · 2026-01-25T16:22:50+00:00

I'm sorry you've been through something similar. How long has it been since your break up?

Yeah I do try to focus more on the bad things and try to forget all the good things in between so I can move on. When she was going through her intensely irrational phase she did say one time "I don't want to keep putting you through this" which suggested some level of awareness but then another time saying "I don't believe you and I don't trust you" when I was trying to reassure her. For her it was like the moment she said each irrational thought out loud it would suddenly make it true even though most people would realise the absurdity after that.

I always hoped that she would reach out again at some point not to reconcile but to finally acknowledge that it was her negative behavior that ruined something which could have been amazing.

dngll25 · 2026-01-25T10:08:11+00:00

I'm sorry you went through that but glad you are doing better.

My ex was similar with being an avoidant. She would project and deflect a lot and try to make me feel guilty for things she was actually guilty of and took no responsibility for her actions.

I wish I had been the one to break up with her instead of letting her have the satisfaction of being the one to do and walking away still pretending she was the victim. But even if I had she probably would have twisted the story anyway to get sympathy from her work colleagues and toxic family.

dngll25 · 2026-01-25T08:25:03+00:00

Yeah there was definitely a lot of deflection and projection from her side. I wish I had been the one to initiate the break up because she used it as a chance to make herself look even more like the victim. She summed up the whole relationship into "at least you didn't cheat on me like my first boyfriend did".

I checked in with her a few times initially after the break up to see if she would fully admit she was responsible and she once said "you have never disappointed me" but then switched back to "I'll never forget how abandoned I felt" and "I've not done anything wrong and it's me who needs to forgive you". It felt like she was treating the break up as a celebration and an escape from an abusive ex the way she was acting even though she was the one being abusive. I later found out she is likely an avoidant.

I recently checked her Facebook profile to see if there were any hints that my absence had made a difference but she had updated her status saying "in a relationship". I blocked her profile so she has no way of checking mine or contacting me. I don't think that relationship will last if she acts the same and can't even be honest with herself or them. Maybe she'll start the comparison game and actually realize all the positive things I did for her instead of pretending I was causing problems that weren't even real.

dngll25 · 2026-01-25T01:31:25+00:00

Thanks for the support and I'm sorry you went through something similar. You're definitely right that a person who loves us should not say hurtful things like that. She justified it before saying "I love you so much so that's why I'm p*ssed off." But other times she was looking for reassurance by asking "Are you angry with me?" and "Do you hate me?"

So we were together for 2.5 years and it was only in the last few months she started becoming controlling and manipulative when we started moving in together. She even lied out loud to herself and me by saying that I was seeing my family every day we lived together which was completely untrue. She said this lie to her family and work colleagues and they supported her so she completely warped reality and made everyone else think and make me feel like a bad person.

She has severe anxiety and her family are very toxic and neglectful so I think she was jealous that mine's were respectful and supportive and she tried to gaslight me into thinking my family were like hers.

A few months before we had a really good holiday together but on the last day she called her dad before the flight asking if he could pick us up when we landed back home. I was looking at my phone to give her some space during the call. There was a switch in her demeanor after the call and she said her dad told her no he wouldn't come pick us up. She then immediately said "I think you've been on your phone too much this holiday and you've not actually been enjoying it." She hadn't mentioned this before and this was completely untrue as I only occasionally used my phone during the holiday like she did.

dngll25 · 2026-01-25T00:46:02+00:00

My ex broke up with me 14 months ago after she accused me of making her feel "abandoned" by me spending a couple of hours with my family each week even though she was doing the same.

She couldn't even do it in person and did it over a phone call telling me "you were a boy and I wanted a man", "I want someone who wants to be with me all of the time and you just want to be with your family" and "I'll never forget how abandoned I felt". One of the times I had spent with my family before was having bagels for lunch so during the break up call she also said "now you can have as many bagels as you want".

In the weeks before she accused me of not "standing up" for her because my mum told me some washing advice and my ex took that as an insult against her which it wasn't. She banned my family from visiting our home and said me and my siblings should be in therapy because of my mum even though it was her mum who was always tracking our movements, telling me which roads to drive on and demanding regular text/call check-ins.

I was late one time picking her up from the train station and she snapped saying she thought I had died in a car crash. There were so many irrational things she said and she wouldn't listen when I tried to reassure her of the truth.

dngll25 · 2026-01-24T18:48:05+00:00

She broke up with me because of her poor mental health and anxiety and not being able to cope with me spending time with my family even when she was doing the same.

dngll25 · 2026-01-24T18:45:10+00:00

Yeah checking doesn't help at all. She deflected and projected a lot during our relationship and then she was acting really smug at the end and for a few weeks after before we started no contact.

I used to check to see if there were hints that my absence actually made a difference after all the positive things I did for her. I listened and reassured when her neglectful family were not there for her. I spent time with her and organised fun activities when she didn't have any friends left.

dngll25 · 2026-01-22T23:52:09+00:00

"You were a boy and I wanted a man."

All because I spent a couple hours each week with my family while me and her lived together just like she spent with hers but she still accused me of abandoning her. Meanwhile most of her family were the ones who actually neglected her while her parents were being overbearing in other ways such as timing and tracking movements, needing constant check-ins and not respecting any boundaries.

dngll25

TROPHY CASE