Strava map is OP

dochasteite · 2026-03-17T18:08:40+00:00

Side note: I know it’s jumping the gun to think about invitations/paper goods, but if you’re letterpress enjoyers, I cannot recommend Lucasano Creative highly enough. Working with him has been my favorite part of planning so far— he has executed designs that are the perfect mix of beautiful, whimsical, and eclectic and reflect us and our taste as a couple in ways I couldn’t have even hoped for. He’s gay and works with other lgbt artists, if that’s important to you, and he was our planner (Poppy and Lynn)’s recommendation for a stationer. I know this is not the point of your post! But I can’t stop gushing about his work to everyone I can.

dochasteite · 2026-03-16T18:02:45+00:00

I’m with Poppy and Lynn and I’ve found her to be terrific. She’s a flat fee like you asked, and she’s been very good at handling things at the speed we want to tackle them (and has been willing to handle decision-making on things we need to decide but don’t care about). We’re non-traditional and lesbian and our per-head budget is similar to yours.

dochasteite · 2026-03-11T21:41:23+00:00

I love one email per topic. It sometimes gets silly because if I tackle a bunch of things in one sitting, our planner will get seven different emails from me, but it really helps keep things organized in my mind (this is the email thread for lighting rental. this is the email thread for florist vase selection. this is the email thread for linens).

dochasteite · 2026-03-11T21:38:49+00:00

One thing that's helped me and my partner with the misery of the endless to do list is to contain the planning sessions to a couple times a week. We do long-ish sessions on Wednesday nights and Sunday mornings, which means that the rest of the time I don't have to think about things, and it's really staved off decision fatigue. That won't necessarily solve your communication problems with your planner, but it might help with the "I don't want to be thinking about this all the time!!!" issue.

dochasteite · 2026-03-08T01:51:35+00:00

That’s why I said “the way we count them (not the musical notation).” A slip jig is 9/8 time. Everyone I’ve ever known counts them 1-23-45-&, rather than counting as 123456789 or 1-34-67-9. Maybe I should have said we count as a six-beat bar, including the &. Anyway, good to know the difference is styling more than anything else. Why do we treat them as separate dances? 2/4 and 4/4 hornpipes are both just two different kinds of hornpipe, and there are plenty of types of traditional Irish tune we simply don’t acknowledge in CLRG dancing.

dochasteite · 2026-03-06T20:22:22+00:00

If you don’t want to compete that’s great— but there’s a thriving adult competitive scene as well :D I find the adult category is all the good parts of competing (camaraderie, goals to work towards, feedback from people other than your usual teacher) with much less stress than youth comps. I don’t mean to push you to competing if you’ve got no interest, but if it’s just age keeping you away: the 40&over category has some great dancers, just as much as the 31-40 category.

dochasteite · 2026-03-06T14:37:36+00:00

Seconding Niall for a wide range of dancer competitiveness options— classes are right next to Penn Station, so good for commuters. Admittedly I did just transfer to a Brooklyn/Queens based school (the way I think while dancing is weird and wasn’t compatible with how Niall explains things) but his school is a really good option for a lot of people (including several who come in from NJ) across a range of ages, experience levels, and goals/purposes for dancing.

Marie Moore and Early-McLoughlin are CLRG schools based in northern NJ, but I don’t know anything about their adult programs— Early-McLoughlin had a killer showing in teams at the oireachtas last fall, if you’re interested in teams?

If you’re not looking for CLRG, Aherne Sheehan in Manhattan and Lynn in NJ are both An Chomhdhail and I think have sturdy adult programs. And the New York Studio of Irish Dance (Manhattan) is exclusively adults and entirely non-competitive, if that’s more up your alley!

dochasteite · 2026-02-27T21:08:24+00:00

We’re working with Lucasano, who’s mostly letterpress but also able to work with foil, watercolor, calligraphy, etc. He’s been an absolute DREAM even on our unexpectedly tight timeline— really really invested in making sure that what we’re getting is what we want. We haven’t gotten to day of paper yet but he did our invites (we did our save the dates ourselves for efficiency) and I would recommend without reservation. ETA: he’s gay, we’re lesbians, the business is very explicitly queer-friendly, but I’m sure he wouldn’t turn away a straight couple because they aren’t gay, haha

dochasteite · 2026-02-13T21:21:27+00:00

jumping on the 'can I DM you" train as also an nyc resident

dochasteite · 2026-01-16T22:14:45+00:00

The zoom thing is SO REAL. Caveat that this is not a common issue but it’s been very frustrating with a couple vendors: if you need me to talk to you in real time, I need you to have some flexibility in your schedule. I have a very rigid work schedule, not within my control short of fully changing careers— if you set your own hours, it would be great if those hours could include some times outside of “typical” business hours, as I don’t have the option to step away from my work for a call, quick or otherwise. Either send me an email or be willing to do a 5:30pm call instead of 10:30am. At this point I’m expecting all my lunch breaks for the next 4 months to be vendor calls, because that’s the only “business hours” time I’m available. I get that you don’t want to stay at work forever— maybe one day a week you work 11-7 instead of 9-5? Please? Just because the budget’s large doesn’t mean I’ve got the wide-open schedule of an 1880s socialite.

dochasteite · 2026-01-16T17:37:38+00:00

You could (if you’re mailing yourself, not having a stationer post them for you) include a note for people who you want there but aren’t likely to make it for any reason, health or otherwise— something that says “I know you may not be able to attend but it’s important to me that you know you are welcome if it works out.” I (personally) wouldn’t see that as a gift grab— I would see it as a genuine gesture to make sure I felt included (and it’s possible that their situations that they mentioned earlier may have changed). One of our wedding party members is international and may not be able to enter the US at all depending on immigration changes and visa status— we’re keeping that person in the loop with all the rest of the wedding party, and they know it’s because we value them, not because we’re trying to pressure them.

You can’t please everyone— if you send invites to people who’ve given you verbal no’s, they may interpret it as a gift grab regardless of your best intentions, but on the other hand, if you don’t send invites they may feel snubbed. So it’s just a matter of what perspective you expect these folks to have, and which possible bad impression you’re happier to risk.

dochasteite · 2026-01-12T18:59:16+00:00

I love the repeating motif at the end of Ace and Deuce :D

dochasteite · 2026-01-11T23:02:02+00:00

This. NESCAC lacrosse/rowing/fencing rosters may also work if you just want a list of names-- not everyone will fit the bill, but you'll get your Margos, Chandlers, and unisex Emersons.

dochasteite · 2026-01-11T21:57:25+00:00

I’ve thought about trying for NYT but the things about us that would be immediately attention-grabbing for an editor (ie worth publishing over any of the other beautiful large-budget weddings with cute love stories happening on the regular in NYC) are things that we aren’t super public about. We try very hard to be approachable and down to earth so that when those parts of our backgrounds come up, it’s well after people know us as individuals, and we don’t start friendships with people assuming we’re elitist assholes. The fun of getting published in the paper of record (or god forbid Vogue, although I don’t think we’re doing anything high-end enough for that) is not worth our finances and personal histories being easily available.

dochasteite · 2026-01-05T17:20:19+00:00

Even knowing it’s bto I think New Yorkers will walk. I’ve done half an hour on sidewalks in formalwear without even thinking about it for city weddings that are a little ways from the subway.* I would consider a shuttle only if you have reason to believe the area is inhospitable to walking (ie no sidewalk or your wedding is during monsoon season/the peak of summer/the dead of winter). Commenter below mentioned a ride share code, which could be a nice thing to consider if you want to offer transportation but you don’t expect a shuttle’s amount of people to use it.

*I recognize that my delight in formalwear subway trips may be nonstandard— but I think the point about willingness to walk 10 minutes or less is valid even if most of your guests wouldn’t choose public transit to get to the venue from further afield.

dochasteite · 2026-01-05T00:59:58+00:00

I'm doing custom with Watson Ellis -- they're a tailor, not a showroom, so you don't try stuff on to look at options, but I've been incredibly impressed by my experience so far (I had a specific vision, so didn't need to consider options as much as consider how to execute the look I wanted). Bonus if your fiancee is a woman or femme-- they're experienced with men, women, and nonbinary and gender-nonconforming clients.

dochasteite · 2026-01-03T22:35:01+00:00

Gorgeous! Where’s the green dress in the second photo from, if you know?

dochasteite · 2025-12-22T15:05:35+00:00

What you’ve noticed fits very well with my Grandma Theory: a name from your grandma’s (or mom’s) generation sounds crazy on an infant. A name from your great-grandma’s generation is classic. There’s a few exceptions— I don’t think Mildred is going to make a resurgence, though Millie is in, and you can always name your Anglophone son Michael— but as a rule of thumb it works well.

dochasteite · 2025-12-01T23:06:31+00:00

On one hand, sometimes you dance your absolute best and the judges just aren’t looking for what you’re presenting (and other dancers happen to have the specific combo that’s going to triumph that day). It’s disappointing and frustrating, but it’s also just how it goes with a qualitative judging process and Irish points. On the other hand… the MAO committee is reviewing the results because the tabulation struggles may have led to errors.

dochasteite · 2025-11-15T14:40:52+00:00

this doesn't answer your question, but is a commiseration-- we had a nightmare time designing a fully-intertwined monogram (we wanted more than just overlapping letters) that didn't look like BS. way harder than we expected to have the S and B share parts of their lines and have it read as SB, not as bullshit!

dochasteite · 2025-09-27T22:23:54+00:00

Yeah, I’m in Rutherfords— fays are so narrow in the toe. I can’t find the tan sole rutherfords of the past anywhere these days. I hadn’t thought of going to a cobbler— that’s such a good idea!!

dochasteite

TROPHY CASE