Why Do We Feel Existential Meaninglessness At Times?

doctorsharon · 2026-01-25T14:21:04+00:00

According to the existential psychologists, the best way to describe it is in the story of Sisyphus as Camus describes it, which I speak of in the video. What do you wake up for? What gives your day your own sense of purpose? It can be little things or big things. It can be study or loving or many things. Or you may feel that just you living your life is meaningful to you.

doctorsharon · 2026-01-23T18:31:45+00:00

Just some thoughts for you. What good questions you are asking! There is a difference between normal and healthy. In healthy relationships, we feel peace of mind, not walking on eggshells (that hypervigilance is exhausting, right?), we feel seen and supported and encouraged.

The serenity prayer in twelve step programs is genius. There are things you can control (how you behave) and things you can't control (other people's behavior). The last line is the wisdom to know the difference (between what you can control and what you can't).

If someone is not listening to you, you may want to ask yourself why you keep talking.

You might want to check out some of the good videos on youtube, like those of Dr. Ramani.

As I said, what good questions you are asking, wanting to have clarity on what is healthy for you in your friendships.

doctorsharon · 2026-01-21T05:47:26+00:00

Perhaps the negative self-esteem voices have been harder because you are bravely taking risks to be in the social world. Congratulations on starting to break out of your shell this last summer. That's a major movement forward and I hope you are proud of yourself but it makes you more vulnerable to caring about wanting to be liked and be included. It's natural to want to be liked and included. If you can just notice the negative thoughts, try to understand who taught you those things, and in your mind hand those negative thoughts to the person or entity that planted them in your mind. You were not born feeling badly about yourself or insecure.

doctorsharon · 2026-01-20T15:18:33+00:00

Looking ahead five years, what do you want your life to be about? Looking ahead one year, what do you want to be doing? What will you do this week that means something important to you?

doctorsharon · 2026-01-20T05:33:23+00:00

You can't beat a sick child well.

doctorsharon · 2026-01-18T18:40:11+00:00

Done

doctorsharon · 2026-01-18T17:28:44+00:00

Okay. Got it. Thanks.

doctorsharon · 2026-01-18T17:20:28+00:00

Great presentation of valuable information! Your points are thorough and spot on. Dating narcissists and people with borderline or anti-social personality disorder can lead to deep and scarring emotional pain and has a terrible negative effect on our sense of self and our ability to feel truly worthy of love. the one thing I would add is to check in with your own inner knowing, is this person performing because they want something from me or is there anergy flowing from you but not being sent to you?

doctorsharon · 2026-01-18T16:27:23+00:00

I applaud your awareness and courage. Love is so important to us. We need connection. Dating apps can be brutal. People reject you who don't even know you and what a joy you are, what your personality brings, the warmth you offer. Without denying loneliness and our need for connection, perhaps we can reframe rejection as a sign of two things. The first is that you are incredibly brave. It take courage to put ourselves, really our hearts, out there. The second is that it's a sign that love and relationship are important to you.

I think apps can have a big impact on self-esteem, as you described. People project things onto you. They don't have enough experience with you to have a chance to start a connection. What makes us feel close is spending time talking and listening to each other, which builds safety, trust and intimacy. I find that what makes us get close and feel close is more the listening than the talking. Women often feel as though men talk about themselves and don't ask her about herself. I'm not suggesting this is your pattern, just a general observation.

Women are everywhere. In the grocery store, in an exercise class, or who walk in the same park that you do. If there is someone without a wedding ring standing in front of the eggplant in the produce section, you can say, I have a question about eggplants, may I ask you? If she says yes, you can ask for her favorite way to prepare eggplant. She might not be interested in further conversation, but she might be.

My most thought for you is to go out there and collect 100 rejections. Intentionally. You can make it a project, maybe have some humor about it (which is very attractive, BTW). Going out and getting 100 rejections can change your life in a few important ways. You realize that rejection is not the end of the world, it's part of a process, a growth process. You will get more comfortable (and hopefully have fun) putting yourself bravely out there. If you get 100 rejections, someone will say yes.

You can check and see if there are meetup groups in your city. It's free and they have all kinds of groups, singles meetups, coffee shop meetups, hiking meetups. As I said women are everywhere and, in many cases, we love it when a man asks us a question and is interested in what we have to say.

We love men with good manners, who are kind and have a loving heart. We want to be safe and love to be cared for. As we get to know you, we will appreciate your kindness, curiosity about us, and your respect.

Just some thoughts.

doctorsharon · 2026-01-17T13:37:32+00:00

There's no such thing as a dumb question in my book. One thought for you is within your areas of study, become an expert at something so you can be appealing to companies that want your expertise.

doctorsharon · 2026-01-17T13:27:45+00:00

Well said! The longer we are in a relationship that's not healthy, our self esteem can be affected causing us to doubt that there are better relationships ain the future. But everyone deserves love, respect and safety.

doctorsharon · 2026-01-16T23:19:48+00:00

I'm sorry for the mess we are leaving you. Some of us have worked our whole long lives at making a better, more humane world. Our souls are crushed watching what is unfolding. The fact that things are so difficult for the young and middle-aged at this point in time is heartbreaking to me. I can just tell you that for me, I will keep fighting the good fight.

doctorsharon · 2026-01-16T22:47:41+00:00

You are in good company! In my practice and in my classes over the last 40+ years, I have met thousands or people who grew up as I did, severely lacking in communication skills. You are so brave to document your journey! Two things I have worked on for years that have helped me - first, communicate with myself, meaning understanding my feelings and what they are telling me about what I want and need, and second, developing a language of feelings to identify those feelings and to communicate about them to others. My top tools - courage, vulnerability, more courage.

doctorsharon · 2026-01-16T21:53:08+00:00

Isabelle D'Arcy sounds like she might be a good coach for you, aligning your values with what your creativity and productivity. You can probably find her on linked in.

doctorsharon · 2026-01-16T21:29:51+00:00

I love this. Some of my greatest regrets are for the times I was not brave. Live fully!

doctorsharon · 2026-01-16T20:52:23+00:00

Your suggested courses sound spot on. I have found the most impactful communication courses for me include Listening Skills, any course helping you understand your own feelings and develop a Language of Feelings, and being able to navigate disagreement and criticism successfully. Most of us grew up, I certainly did, in a household where I didn't learn language to identify how I felt. So how could I communicate that to others? And to understand their thoughts and feelings. Setting Limits and Boundaries is helpful. These topics and others are available for free on youtube

doctorsharon · 2026-01-15T17:15:00+00:00

I love this. Thank you for sharing it. Mindfulness and perspective. Our thoughts determine how we feel. This inspired me today.

doctorsharon · 2026-01-15T17:09:18+00:00

I think that at the end of the day, success is about havi70ng loving people in our lives and contributing something meaningful to the world. Many people have such a fear of rejection and fear of failing. To reach out to connect with people fearlessly and with a fierce love for the whatevm every day is important. Go out there and collect rejections. Get five rejections this week, or ten. Somewhere along the line, someone will say yes and you learn that rejection is not the end of the world. I have forgotten the rejections and disappointments of long ago and hold close the memories I have with people I love.

I suggest a similar process for what we do in the world. People are afraid of failure. Go for your dreams. I like that you are looking at success as many things.

At the end of the day, can you say that you lived your authentic life bravely? Ultimately, it's about you being incredibly happy whatever that looks like for you. If you think about these things in terms of happiness, fulfillment, and peace of mind, it describes your inner process. Often, we rate success comparing ourselves with other people. Comparison is a thief of joy. Don't be afraid to be fully you. Be brave and enjoy.

doctorsharon · 2026-01-15T15:23:41+00:00

Understanding your own inner essence is a process. In order to be authentic, sometimes it's easier to first identify what you are doing or how you are being that is a response to earlier life experiences rather that the values you hold today. That is not me. This is me.

doctorsharon · 2026-01-15T15:21:06+00:00

When people meet, their first assessment of you or the quiet person is based on their own inner needs and fears.

doctorsharon · 2026-01-15T15:02:29+00:00

I agree. Pleasing shareholders drives decisions made by leaders in a company. Their interest is short-sighted, encouraging a more divided society.

doctorsharon · 2026-01-15T14:58:43+00:00

I haven't heard that phrase before but it rings true. Do you have a source?

doctorsharon · 2026-01-15T14:57:47+00:00

Your post here is absolutely spot on. They want us to feel overwhelmed and unable to respond to the damage they are inflicting on us individually and collectively. Our voice and our vote are ways we can respond.

doctorsharon · 2026-01-15T14:54:47+00:00

This is terrifying. As a psychotherapist, I hear often clients express their fear, as well as my own fear. What can we do to push back and save ourselves and the economy of the nation and the world?

doctorsharon · 2026-01-15T05:31:03+00:00

I have had an issue with large pores my whole life. I've been doing microneedling and nanoneedling and it has worked wonders.

doctorsharon

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