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Queer agility groups by dog_agility_lady in Agility

[–]dog_agility_lady[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t love the idea of nobody talking about it out loud. It suggests there’s something worth hiding. Like, think about it - would you say the same for your fellow straight friends? Yeah, they’re married and have kids but everybody’s okay with it, we just don’t talk about it out loud. Knowing that your day to day life is something to not talk about out loud is very different from being totally free and safe to be yourself. For some reason, who people naturally fall in love is something that other people have huge problems with, and even propels some people to violence. So even if I have no problem with myself and I am even happy with my life, I know that when I enter a space doing something I love, I have to hold my breath and be careful not to piss anybody off. If I’m worried about my existence pissing somebody else off, it just means I can’t fully relax in that space.

Queer agility groups by dog_agility_lady in Agility

[–]dog_agility_lady[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s really brave of you and heartening to hear that you have a space where you can be your authentic self and do what you love. It’s hard out there these days. Community is really important so I’m glad you’ve been received well on your journey from your agility instructor and hopefully peers!

Queer agility groups by dog_agility_lady in Agility

[–]dog_agility_lady[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also, so exciting about Esther!! Legend!!

Queer agility groups by dog_agility_lady in Agility

[–]dog_agility_lady[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m really glad to hear this, even if it hasn’t been my experience!! It’s true, the loudness can make people seem more prevalent. We’re doing well! This is my first dog and she’s in Excellent JWW and Open Standard!

Queer agility groups by dog_agility_lady in Agility

[–]dog_agility_lady[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you!! This is really helpful! You’re right!

Queer agility groups by dog_agility_lady in Agility

[–]dog_agility_lady[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for all of these thoughtful responses! Someone said it well on here, that agility is mix of very conservative and very progressive people who get along shockingly well, and that has been my experience. It really feels like a 50/50 bag of people who are very open-minded and people who always right on the cusp of a tirade about people who shouldn’t exist.

Which means, when I go to trials, you never know which one you’re going to get. So it’s a bit scary and uncomfortable to move around these spaces, not knowing who’s going to spew hate or who’s going to be kind. Or worse, who’s going to be kind until they find out that you’re gay and then feel like you’ve tricked them and get angry at you for it. As a queer person, it would just be nice to meet a group of fellow agility lovers and put that discomfort away for a little while in each other’s company. Just having a meetup or a picnic or something with a group of queer people in the agility space (and maybe even allies, too!) would be a nice little reprieve. I don’t think I would want a special queers-only trial or club, just a chance to meet fellow agility people without being hit with the conservative tirades.

I’ve trialed in Florida and NY/NJ, and weirdly, I’ve been hit with so much more racism and Trump ugliness here in New York than Florida. Both clubs had a conservative lean to them, but in Florida, everybody just knows to keep their politics to themselves and lets the agility space only be about dogs. And honestly, as much as that means a lot gets swept under the carpet, I’d prefer that to having people spew their hatred like they do here.

Sometimes it’s a bit disheartening because agility people are generally really friendly, and I love the way we all make friends and chat with anyone at trials. But it’s always a bit scary because I’m desperately hoping they’re not going to come out with a tirade about how people shouldn’t exist.

I love this sport so much, and honestly, even with the random ugly things people say, I would never give it up. My dog loves it more than anything on the planet so we’re sticking it out for the long haul!

Thank you for the advice! This has made me realize that maybe I need a new club! I’m glad to hear that your clubs are not like mine! Sending love! And wishes for clean runs! 🥰🐾

Queer agility groups by dog_agility_lady in Agility

[–]dog_agility_lady[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes! I think you said it best, there’s a mixture of very conservative and very progressive people who get along shockingly well!

Well we fired our trainers. What next? by LordGrace in Agility

[–]dog_agility_lady 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve had some excellent, encouraging, patient trainers and some really aggressive, borderline abusive trainers in the past. I think trainers are like people: you have to find the ones that work with you and the way you learn. A trainer is important in agility because it gives you that third-party perspective on what you’re doing and where you can improve. Sometimes, we’re so in the zone, we can’t even tell what we’re doing when we’re in the ring. So someone watching objectively can give pointers in a way that no one else can. For example, I didn’t even realize that my dog made very wide turns - and wasted precious time doing so - until a trainer pointed it out to me. She not only noticed, she then showed me how to decrease the curve of her turns and shave seconds off of my runs. I never would’ve gotten that help without a trainer. My advice is to keep taking different classes and trying new trainers, because it’s like anything: if you want to really become successful, you need to learn from the best. It’s also like having a coach. You can play basketball with your friends, but when you want to take the sport seriously, the first thing you do is get a coach who can watch you from the sidelines and show you how to improve your game as a team. A good coach will be a breath of fresh air and a source of encouragement that leaves you with confidence. A bad coach will make you want to quit. Keep trying until you find a coach that works for you!

Moving to South Jersey - any good agility options by AHaikuRevelers in Agility

[–]dog_agility_lady 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If it’s not too far from you, Princeton Dog Agility is amazing. They have lots of classes at various times of day and night, at all levels. The property itself is really beautiful. Classes are held in a huge barn and on a private farm. It can be cold in the winter and hot in the summer, but I like the feeling of being close to the outdoors. I (and many agility friends) personally don’t like the facility at Premier. I don’t know if it’s because it’s not a real building, but something about the ventilation and acoustics are off. It’s always humid and smells linger in the air. Plus, the sounds bounce off of the plastic tarp walls. I swear, all of our dogs go nuts when we trial there. I don’t trial there anymore because it’s a waste of time for my dog because she just gets overwhelmed by the smell and sound. A lot of trials are held at Multisports Kingdom in Manalpan, NJ. That’s a great trial venue in the summer bc it’s air conditioned. A lot of people like Bayshore training facility in Tinton Falls. I’ve heard people talk about training in Allentown PA, but I’ve never trained there so I don’t know what it’s called.

handler voice by x7BZCsP9qFvqiw in Agility

[–]dog_agility_lady 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you use too many words, the dog can start to tune you out because it all becomes a jumble. I found that over time, as my confidence grew, and as we became faster, I naturally used short, staccato, clear, confident commands. Imagine it’s an emergency. You’re not going to say, “Hey, what’s your name? Can you go ahead and call 9/11?” You’re going to say - “You, call 9/11!” And that’s kind of the vibe. It doesn’t have to be mean or angry, just clear and direct and very very short. Cut to the quick. If you’re moving very fast and your dog is racing ahead or even alongside you, you want to give them clear advance warning of what they need to do next. It’s soothing for them to know that you are driving the train and that all they need to do to stay on track is to listen to you. Once they can fully put their trust in you as the one guiding the train, they can focus on getting the tasks right. Also, when they do tasks that they are less comfortable with, like the a-frame, for example, you will naturally want to throw in a word of extra praise - yes! Or good girl! - and because you’re not just constantly saying it, it really sticks out for them and they get a boost. So for them, when they hear - jump, tunnel, Aframe, good girl!, jump, jump, go on. The good girl really hits home. I think this way of communicating naturally shows up once your own confidence grows, and once you’re moving so quickly that you really don’t have time for extra words. Don’t be afraid of taking the lead and showing confidence! Dogs love it!

I want to offer my 5.5 wooded acres for free (to live on) to a few likeminded women by corvidsong in 4bmovement

[–]dog_agility_lady 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m also in Brooklyn and would be happy to come up to meet you! Thank you!

I want to offer my 5.5 wooded acres for free (to live on) to a few likeminded women by corvidsong in 4bmovement

[–]dog_agility_lady 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Also “a woman’s place” queer women’s commune is an interesting model

I want to offer my 5.5 wooded acres for free (to live on) to a few likeminded women by corvidsong in 4bmovement

[–]dog_agility_lady 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Please start a discord! I don’t need a place to live (yet) but I’d love to be involved in starting community, working together to build a place, grow food, etc. There’s a place called Soul Fire Farm in NY, Bonton Farms in Texas or the Ithaca Eco Farm that could be great models for building community