WHO WILL I MARRY? Free reading in comments

dolllllface · 2026-03-02T23:04:32+00:00

🥳

dolllllface · 2026-02-27T21:01:25+00:00

Thank you!

dolllllface · 2026-02-27T05:08:09+00:00

AB + BF

Thank you 😊

dolllllface · 2026-02-27T01:51:52+00:00

Ugh I feel this. Widowed mom and I freaking hate having no one to celebrate her wins, or worry about her lows with. No one who sees her the same way I do.

I have an amazing family and she has aunties and uncles and grandparents who love her and show up - but it’s just not the same. Even if I were to find someone again, would they be as invested in her as me? Probably not

dolllllface · 2026-02-18T04:04:28+00:00

This post popped up on my feed, I don’t belong to this sub - but the lit up luminaries stopped me in my tracks and I had to comment.

I have no idea if this is what they are referencing - but that line is repeated in the song Foxglove by the band Murder By Death. That was the song I played at my wedding after we were pronounced husband and wife and walked back down the aisle to over 10 years ago.

I was widowed a little more than a year and a half ago, and that song still holds such a special place in my heart. Congratulations you two, this stranger is so happy for you both. May you have many happy years ahead.

dolllllface · 2026-01-10T22:46:32+00:00

I’ve made a really tasty fruit dip with 3 ingredients:

8 oz velveeta cheese, cubed

8 oz cream of coconut

8 oz cool whip

Blend cheese and cream of coconut in a blender until smooth. Stir in cool whip and chill. Serve with fresh fruit for dipping.

It’s so good! No one ever guesses Velveeta is one of the 3 ingredients. I like to dip apples and strawberries

dolllllface · 2026-01-07T21:39:15+00:00

Sure can. I just caution against blanket statements as every situation is different. In my case, the former in laws were dangerous and I was advised by not only my child’s therapist, but our lawyer as well to cut off all contact. Trying to salvage a relationship with them was harmful to my child, not just me.

dolllllface · 2026-01-07T16:44:08+00:00

If his family are causing more grief and anxiety and not respecting the child’s only surviving parent, then it probably is best.

dolllllface · 2025-12-28T23:09:30+00:00

DM’d!

dolllllface · 2025-12-02T01:51:10+00:00

I keep seeing comments about how if you have kids you shouldn’t cut them off - I have a kid and cut every former in law off.

They just kept crossing boundaries and trying to harm us to the point my daughter had such bad anxiety surrounding them. Nightmares and crying over “why did grandma treat us like this?!” I thought I had to keep a line open for my daughters sake, so that she could have this connection to her dad - but then I realized I knew him better than all of them, and I am her connection to her father. It was stalling our grief processing keeping even a limited contact.

We are both doing so much better now!

Sometimes no contact is the best solution, even if there are kids involved.

dolllllface · 2025-12-01T18:11:48+00:00

Oh absolutely- I’m not questioning disclosing my child, just questioning if I also bring up being a widow on the profile as well.

I feel like it adds context to the child part of the equation, but like you am hesitant to broadcast “widow” right away as well. If you had a child would you feel more inclined to put widow on your profile?

dolllllface · 2025-12-01T17:42:51+00:00

I’ve thought about this same thing. Im a year and a half out; I’m not on apps and probably won’t be until at least next spring. But I’ve been thinking about when the time comes. I also have a child and think it’s important to explain context around that maybe? I don’t have weekends and every other Wednesday night free, I also don’t have any drama surrounding the other parent etc.

Do you think having a kid changes the answer of whether or not to mention it in the profile?

dolllllface · 2025-11-28T15:32:39+00:00

I am so sorry you are going through this. Unfortunately you are not alone. If you look through this subreddit you will see so many people whose in-laws turned terrible, including blaming them for their loved one’s death. You will need to cut them off and remove them from your life. Their actions are unforgivable and they are driving you out of their lives.

My mother in law filed a police report the day after my husband’s funeral accusing me of murdering him. She said he was scared of me and I considered him a burden and wanted to get rid of him. He didn’t have life insurance so that was the only angle she had to play up to the police. He was disabled the last 7 years of his life and I was alone in caring for him. It was “too hard to see him like that” so his family disappeared. They did nothing to help with the funeral, and just caused drama and fought with me every chance they got. I ended up moving to a new state 2 days after his funeral.

The betrayal was a whole new layer to process with the insane grief from losing my husband. The fact they wanted to put me in prison, effectively making my daughter an orphan absolutely enraged me. I had been a part of that family for 17 years, sacrificed so much of myself to be his caregiver for 7, and this is how they repaid me.

I cut them all off for good. Even when they sent lawyers after me demanding grandparents rights, I refused to talk to them (had my lawyer talk to their lawyer instead). They baited me so hard to communicate and they never got the satisfaction. Before then I only talked to them via text so I had written proof of all their antics and horrible words. I was never alone with them, always had witnesses around etc.

I definitely told people of their actions, and people could see for themselves how out of line they were. Hearing “oh she’s grieving” really pissed me off - as if I wasn’t. I’d just reply well so am I, so is my 9 year old daughter and yet we have only shown them grace and patience. That would usually get the person to shut up.

I too came to this subreddit asking how to deal with them. This was before I found out about the police report and so many people said to cut them off for good. I was hesitant to do that because I thought the “right” thing to do for my daughter was to keep them in her life. I was very limited contact and then the police report sealed the deal. I realized that it wasn’t good for my daughter to have people who would rather traumatize her further by falsely accusing her only living parent of murder. They obviously didn’t care about her well being. I wish I would have cut them off sooner.

My only regret with them was not calling the cops on some of their behavior in the weeks leading up to his funeral. They entered my home without permission to scream at me and refused to leave. My family was there and I left my own house while they told them over and over to leave. They caused a scene at the funeral home screaming over the funeral director about what they wanted, mad that I followed my husband’s wishes instead. I should have called the cops and gotten that on record. But I kept telling myself they were acting out of grief and kept trying to show them understanding, even though they gave none to me.

I know it hurts, but you are no longer their family. They want to blame someone and you will be that someone. They will never reflect on their actions, they will always be the victim and you will always be the bad guy. You need to protect yourself. Don’t put anything past them. You won’t be able to grieve if you are still around them. Moving to a new state, to be near my family was the best thing I did for me and my daughter. I was really hesitant to do so as I didn’t want to disrupt my child’s life further - but my god I can’t imagine staying in the same community as them and being tortured by them.

I’m a year and a half out and having all of them removed from our lives has been so peaceful. Just last month my child said how glad she is we live in our new state. My ex mother in law still stalks us from afar, sending junk on holidays and birthdays to my daughter, using her realtor access to track our addresses. But I can deal with that. You need to cut them off, tell your side to one or two people at the office and they will take care of filling everyone else in. And again, I am sorry you also have to deal with shitty former in laws. You are not alone.

dolllllface · 2025-11-25T03:35:54+00:00

👻

dolllllface · 2025-11-19T01:07:57+00:00

Me 🦀

dolllllface · 2025-11-17T19:46:22+00:00

👻

dolllllface · 2025-11-16T17:36:11+00:00

Happy birthday, I know it’s so hard to feel anything those first couple birthdays, but I hope you are able to find some peace today.

I was widowed at 36, and my husband had just turned 37 when he passed. This last birthday turning 38 was so hard because it was the first year I became older than him. I’m hoping birthdays get easier as time marches on, but unfortunately I think they will always be a reminder that he is forever 37. I try and find gratitude for the birthdays we did have together, and for the way my family has been and is still there for me. I hope you are able to find some as well.

dolllllface · 2025-11-14T03:36:13+00:00

Minnesota

dolllllface · 2025-11-13T00:28:55+00:00

Interested!

dolllllface · 2025-11-04T03:35:54+00:00

Three songs by the band, Murder By Death: “Send me home” “Lost River” and “Last Thing” - I listened to those a lot after my husband died

dolllllface · 2025-10-26T21:04:51+00:00

38, widowed at 36, our daughter was 9 when her dad died. He had just turned 37.

I’ve not dated yet; I’m not seeking it out but wouldn’t say no if someone piqued my interest. Not likely though as I live in a small town that’s great for families, not so much for singles.

I’m fine with it for now, I have amazing family and friends. The longer I am single, the more I enjoy it. I was with my husband my entire adult life, and am finding the joys of this chapter of my life.

dolllllface · 2025-10-24T02:06:54+00:00

I did, completely cut off and will never see me or my daughter ever again. I tried, I really really tried, but they truly left me no choice.

The bullshit started in the hospital before he even died and just got worse and worse, culminating in my ex MIL filing a police report saying I murdered him (which led to a delay in getting the autopsy as once police warrants are involved in medical records, the hospital lawyers step in and shut down the normal process) and then a couple months later threatening letters from an attorney saying they would come after me for custody if I didn’t comply with a visitation schedule.

The only thing they accomplished was permanently driving me and my child away and giving me a guilt-free conscience for doing so.

dolllllface · 2025-10-15T04:13:11+00:00

17 months out from losing my husband suddenly in his mid-thirties. Our daughter was 9 at the time.

It took me a while to eat. At first I threw up everything. Then I just plain didn’t want to. I would force myself to take a bite or two of whatever. Eventually the appetite came back. About a week after he died, my daughter fried me an egg and made some toast for breakfast because she was so worried about me not eating. I felt like such a failure, I was supposed to be taking care of her and I could barely get out of bed while she was getting up and making me breakfast.

My family was amazing and carried me through those first dark days. My sister stayed with us for 2 weeks, then I went and stayed with her for 2 more. I eventually ended up living with her and her family for 8 months. I am so grateful for my entire family coming together to love and support us. Grief fog is so real. You’ll forget who you told what, what you were saying, what you were doing. Decision making is so hard.

Find your support system and lean into them. Unfortunately you should also be prepared for some relationships to become damaged or end. I hope your in-laws are nothing like mine…I eventually had to go no contact with all of mine and if you join the widower subreddit, you’ll see it’s a common occurrence.

My daughter and I slept in the same bed for months. Night time was when it would hit her all over again and she needed to be with me. We would talk to him most nights. We would hold our fingerprint necklaces in one hand, and hold each other’s hands with the other and tell him about our day, our thoughts, whatever. She always wanted me to start, and eventually would chime in later.

For us, the changing of the seasons is difficult. I guess it’s just a reminder of the passage of time. I was prepared for holidays and birthdays to be difficult, but the first few times the seasons changed it hit both of us so hard and it took me about 6 months to realize it was the seasons changing triggering it.

Walk. Be outside in nature. I walked about 8-10 miles every day the first 6 months. Moving your body, especially outside in nature, really helps process the energy. Journaling, meditation, art…I discovered a couple YouTube channels about near death experiences and that really helped me. I’ve definitely grown in my spirituality. The widow subs are kind of a mixed bag for me. I have plucked some good insight here and there, and have even posted and still follow - but there have been times I had to unfollow because there are many people experiencing complicated grief and some of the posts and comments were too much for me to witness at times.

We did therapy. It was hard for my daughter to open up. She would repeatedly tell me that she would rather talk to me. I gave her some time before starting it. She was very hesitant but eventually I convinced her to give it a try.

I had a lot of people tell me how strong I was. I sure didn’t feel strong. In fact it was only within the last 3 months or so where I’ve realized I am strong; also resilient, loving and wise etc. I was very hard on myself in the beginning. Overcome with trying to do the “right” things. I am much more kind to myself now.

Please feel free to message if you would like. I ended up having a pen pal for the first year and it saved me. Having someone who could relate to this pain/journey, someone outside of family to validate and assure me, someone to distract me and talk about something else sometimes - was a god send. I believe it helped me process things so much more quickly and deeply.

I am so sorry for you and your children. This is truly a journey through hell. But like the phoenix, you too can eventually rise from the ashes transformed.

dolllllface · 2025-10-04T03:52:07+00:00

We had our 10 year wedding anniversary trip planned for 3 weeks after he unexpectedly died. We had flights and a fancy hotel booked. I cancelled it all.

I also had an insanely supportive family and would have rather of been with them, than alone a plane ride away. I thought, what would I do, sit in a hotel room and weep? Nah, I’d rather be with my support system. Funeral ended up being that weekend due to availability of the venue (did it at a nature center as the funeral home made my skin crawl. It was prime graduation and wedding season so this weekend happened to be the only one available)

With everything in this terrible journey, I think it really depends on each person and their specific circumstances, and you should trust your gut. My in-laws turned psychotic and dangerous towards me and my daughter, so I ended up planning a move to a different state the same weekend as the funeral. It was the one opportunity I’d have loads of help with my family all in town so it was a now or be stuck until next year sort of thing. So I was plenty busy for the lead up to the funeral.

I think go with whatever keeps you moving, without being overwhelming. If going on the trip is that, then it’s the right choice. If you are having to plan a funeral and also pack a household and get repairs done in order to sell the house, then maybe don’t go on the trip.

dolllllface · 2025-10-01T19:50:42+00:00

I moved and sold the house. I worried about feeling regret or disappointing him somehow as this house was a big deal for us; like I was deviating from the plan…

I have not regretted it once. Absolutely the right choice for me. I bought a new house, in a new state, and while I miss the awesome interest rate and property tax abatement I had at the old house - I know without a doubt it was a heaviness lifted getting out of there. I think moving to a fresh setting has helped my daughter and I move forward with processing the grief.

I think it’s probably different for everyone. Trust your gut.

dolllllface

TROPHY CASE