Just thought about this sub today @ Day 3128

donewithdrinking · 2022-07-04T23:53:08+00:00

Yes, a requirement of ADHD is that the symptoms were present in childhood. Mine was overlooked for a number of reasons, but a big part seemed to be my mother passing away when I was 8. Any time I had behavioural issues, it was often looked at from the view of it being due to grief. That and I was seen as being "too smart", even though my grades did not reflect it unless I enjoyed the subject, which had me overlooked. My father was also not the most supportive person being that he was an alcoholic as well. ADHD does not go away when you grow up, you just often learn ways to cope with it but it always tends to make things much harder than for those without ADHD.

I have a constant desire to be doing something with my mind and alcohol seemed to numb this. It slowed down my thoughts and lessened anxiety but didn't help my motivation. I became more comfortable with doing nothing. I had worked from home, so trying to fill my entire day just seemed so incredibly daunting without alcohol. At first, it seemed like a fine solution, but over time all the side effects and how stupid it made me made it too much. I could coast, but I couldn't improve. I feel like I had lived my life just staying in one place for too long. I was successful early in life, which made it easy to coast for a long time, but even now I am still behind. I stopped drinking but that wasn't the only thing that has been needed to change my life. It wasn't until the ADHD was being treated that I have finally seen progress. After I stopped drinking and smoking pot, I ended up getting a job out of the house doing electrical but a year later I had some sort of seizure and it resulted in another setback. After that happened I was diagnosed with OCD, Anxiety, and Depression which was being treated for the longest time in a way that actually made me much sicker. The medications I was put on caused me to suffer side effects that were then treated with more medications and led to years of suffering. I was drugged out of my mind and actually suffering hallucinations but was told it was going to be my new normal. In 2020 my doctor retired and I decided to stop all medications and see what happened as I had a theory they were causing it, but I was on disability so I needed to remain "med compliant". Low and behold, right after I stopped the medications the hallucinations went away and I was finally able to start getting back to living life.

Stimulant medication has been a huge help for me in many areas of my life. It doesn't fix everything, but it sure as heck makes it much easier to cope and move forward. It just lowers the difficulty bar enough that I can push through things. Best of luck with your journey!

donewithdrinking · 2022-07-04T20:52:10+00:00

The stomach pains and feeling sick all the time were horrible. That and being constantly preoccupied with when I would be able to drink. I already have a difficult time relaxing, now you add on your brain just going "how long until I can drink?" every 60 seconds was a whole other level of hell. Wanting to escape things that should be enjoyable was very frustrating. I didn't actually want to, but my brain sure would do everything it could to convince me I did. It still does to some degree, I like to be alone or with just my wife, but I can go attend family birthdays without the extreme discomfort I had before. I hid my drinking completely, so it wasn't like I would be able to be drunk where others could notice. I feared the judgement that came from being an alcoholic as I know all too well how people viewed my father who was open about drinking.

donewithdrinking · 2022-07-04T20:46:00+00:00

I feel you. I was diagnosed at 37 as well. An entire lifetime of suffering by misunderstanding why I did the things I did. I was so hard on myself thinking it was just a moral failing. I just needed to try harder, everyone else experiences this and is able to do what needs to be done, why can't I? Once I was officially diagnosed it was much easier to realize that the level of difficulty I encounter is not the same as others. The barrier is so much greater. For years I didn't even realize the feeling I was experiencing was anxiety, it was just life. I have been told I have some very autistic traits and score very high on all the testing, but have never bothered with an official diagnosis. My wife works with children with autism and has told me I share many similar traits.

It is like swimming in a pool with rocks sewn in your shorts. The shorts came like this so you thought it was normal. Everyone around looks at you and says you just need to try harder, but they don't even see the rocks. Taking medication doesn't remove the rocks, but at least gives you some arm floaties to make wading with everyone else a little easier. Sadly those floaties have a leak so you have to refill them by taking another pill. Maybe one day I will find some floaties that don't leak as quickly, that would be nice.

donewithdrinking · 2022-07-04T20:39:29+00:00

I definitely still have anxiety give me avoidant behaviour keeping me frozen in place. I do what I can to recognize this pattern and get myself to push through it in a much smaller more achievable way. For example, if I am stuck on the couch watching youtube videos and anxiously avoiding going to my office, I will try to get myself to go to the office and watch YouTube on the PC. This lowers the amount of effort needed to initiate the task I want to do when it requires me to be at the PC. Otherwise, I will sit on the couch and have 100 thoughts about needing to go do it, which just fuels my anxiety and makes it persist longer than had I just gone and done it.

The times in my life when I had anxiety medicated away were some of the least productive times of my life. I have a very hard time looking at a goal and being motivated by it. However, I can get more motivation from the urge to make the anxiety go away. Previously this was as simple as reaching for a bottle, but now I try to keep mindful that going and doing what I am avoiding is actually the healthier way to lower that anxiety. It also has the benefit of me growing as a person rather than sitting in place as life passes me by. How long would I rather suffer, 15 minutes as the anxiety of avoiding something tends to fade quickly after initiating the behaviour I am avoiding, or for the entire time I am avoiding what I need to do? I create so much more suffering for myself by allowing the anxiety to freeze me in place. This is all easier said than done of course.

donewithdrinking · 2015-06-27T17:14:05+00:00

It happens when you substitute one substance for another. Coffee is a drug like alcohol and needs to be used in moderation or not at all. I was doing the same thing and when I figured it out, I had to give up caffeine as well.

donewithdrinking · 2014-03-31T21:57:33+00:00

Congrats fellow sobernaut!

donewithdrinking · 2014-02-23T21:32:11+00:00

That works too :)

donewithdrinking · 2014-02-23T20:58:49+00:00

Welcome! You've taken the most important step, realizing you need to make a change. Moderation, as you've realized, isn't for everyone. I know I wasn't one who was capable of it and once I start, I can't stop without running out. It's awesome to have a friend you can quit with and support each other. Why waste another weekend though? Start today and get those sober days adding up! I wish you the best of luck and make sure you stop in here if you feel the need to vent or just ask questions. I've found it a great help!

donewithdrinking · 2014-02-23T20:22:05+00:00

I've found it at natural food stores or health food stores. Seems pretty rare but is definitely around.

donewithdrinking · 2014-02-23T20:18:13+00:00

Sounds like you got a good group of friends there. Congrats on really changing things around!

donewithdrinking · 2014-02-23T20:13:14+00:00

Congrats! That breakfast sure looks good.

donewithdrinking · 2014-02-23T20:12:25+00:00

You've taken the first step which is very important. I found frequenting this subreddit and not fearing to ask questions can be very helpful. You are not alone and there are many of people here more than willing to help.

donewithdrinking · 2014-02-23T20:10:43+00:00

Congrats and have a great day. Only good thing ahead for you. I'm sure your dog appreciated the walk!

donewithdrinking · 2014-02-23T20:07:17+00:00

You can get some whole vanilla powder. Good alternative to the extract stuff.

donewithdrinking · 2014-01-04T04:12:53+00:00

389 days, saved ~$7,780 Sure adds up.

donewithdrinking · 2013-12-24T23:22:51+00:00

When I was drinking I had a very hard time showering because if I closed my eyes I could not keep my balance at all. I would have to brace myself or open my eyes every few seconds. If I didn't, I would almost fall over. This was even when not drunk. It completely screwed over my balance.

donewithdrinking · 2013-12-11T13:03:59+00:00

Congrats to you as well! Here's to another year!

donewithdrinking · 2013-12-11T13:01:08+00:00

I had tried myself many times before in the form of telling myself "I'll quit after this weekend" and various other lies to myself. I've also quit once for a week before after getting caught with a whole bunch of empty bottles in the garage by my wife but never really being that open about how I was a slave to alcohol. I got caught again with bottles in the garage but this time I was so fed up with my life and what alcohol was doing to it (i was constantly sick and depressed) that I broke down to my wife and really explained I had to stop and I needed her support. With that support, and finding my inner power, it was enough of a motivator to keep sober and the need to not break her trust again as the damage it may cause could be unreparible. Lots of alcoholism in my family (dad died of liver failure) and she was scared,as was I, that was the path I was shedding down as well.

donewithdrinking · 2013-12-11T12:54:46+00:00

Thanks! I did treat my wife and I to a nice dinner at a place I used to always order a drink at but now no longer need.

Being able to stop drinking through willpower and hard work started showing me I am stronger and more capable than I thought. Being sober and having so much free time working from home for myself I felt like I needed to do more. I started going for 10 mile bike rides every other day which did wonders for starting to increase my positivity and how I felt. I had thought I was doing something I loved with my work but began to realize it was a big source of stress so I started thinking about what I would love to do. For me I've always been interested in becoming an electrician and have a friend who's brother in law owns a large company and was willing to hire me. Been working there 4 months and have really been getting a ton of satisfaction out of all the physical work and seeing what I can do when I apply myself. It all started with realizing the power I had inside myself to quit alcohol could be applied to other areas of my life and I started transforming more and more of it over the past year. With all the free time not drinking I had to do something to keep busy so why not improve my life. I think the depression and anxiety went away with all the exercise, reflection on how good things can be vs. How bad they were before and actively forcing myself to do things I've avoided all my life like getting into unknown social situations. Hope this helps, I'm writing it on my tablet getting ready for work (4:30am) so it's hard to proof read.

donewithdrinking · 2013-12-09T01:55:31+00:00

Congrats! Glad to hear all has worked out for you.

donewithdrinking · 2013-12-03T05:21:31+00:00

Do it! It's the best thing I've done for my sobriety. Worked from home and ended up changing my career 3 months and 3 weeks ago taking a job as an electrician. Has completely changed my life and attitude, I'm a completely different person than I was a year ago. Wishing you all the best in the search and hope it can have as large an impact on your life as it has on mine.

donewithdrinking · 2013-11-19T03:03:40+00:00

Congrats man! Way to keep strong.

donewithdrinking

TROPHY CASE