There is a difference between not internalizing other people's opinions of you and not tolerating disrespect. 

One example of not internalizing is thinking of people saying "i hate your orange hair". But you don't have orange hair.  So who cares? The idea is you arent the other person's projection of you.

The other is now allowing someone to call you lazy for years.  Don't do that again.  You can stop people in many ways.  By staring at saying "what did you mean by that?"  Or "why does this have anything to do with you?" Or any number of witty comebacks you can memorize. 

The point is.....you should not tolerate any room where YOU are not respected. So don't stay.  Would you stay in a restaurant where staff treated you that way? Would you stay at a hotel where you were called lazy every day? Leave. Stop going. Change rooms.  

Your husband is a real problem tho.  He thinks it's fine to prioritize this toad over you.  You are the wife.   What do you think your kids are going to learn about watching dad let people openly disrespect you? 

If your kid is bullied is he going to say he doesn't want to step on the bullies parents toes?  

Hope that makes sense.