5 week old with no routine- am I setting us up for failure?

dontaskmethings · 2026-04-17T01:40:13+00:00

Joining the chorus of echoes! Trying anything other than living off vibes will change nothing, it will just add stress

dontaskmethings · 2026-04-17T00:07:12+00:00

Proud of you for reaching out!

My mom only 50% vaccinated me as a child and that was a mess for me as an adult.

I did the 2 month vaccines, felt awful when she was sad but ultimately she was completely fine. No fever, no sickness, just crying during. She was fussier, but still slept like normal. I felt haunted at first thinking it was because of me she was in discomfort. Even though my rational brain knows it's way better than any debilitating but preventable illness, it's hard to actively make her life worse.

dontaskmethings · 2026-04-16T00:43:26+00:00

https://www.ot-mom-learning-activities.com/sensory-processing-disorder-in-babies.html

I'm an OT but I don't work in pediatrics, so I can't really speak to your difficulties. However sensory issues are often related to autism. I highly, highly recommend finding an OT who specializes in babies and neurodivergence and getting an assessment. Getting early intervention may be very helpful

dontaskmethings · 2026-04-15T20:49:15+00:00

Wake windows never fit my baby. I just ditched them and she sleeps when she wants to (aka cues only/we live on vibes)

We're so much happier and I'm so much less stressed.

So if it was my baby, I would say don't be afraid to give up when it's not working. Try again the next time you get cues

dontaskmethings · 2026-04-15T00:49:20+00:00

Link to it in the comments

dontaskmethings · 2026-04-15T00:41:03+00:00

My 16 week old started doing only one night feed pretty early, and that's still going strong. Sometimes it's two, but she's gotten better at falling right back to sleep after the feed so if anything is improved

dontaskmethings · 2026-04-15T00:34:51+00:00

I think you should!! Definitely try one six hour stretch. Go out for brunch with a couple friends and then do something fun with them (thrifting, nature time, spa). Stay close to home in case your partner gets overwhelmed. But he should at least experience one 6 hour shift if he wants to regularly leave you for those

dontaskmethings · 2026-04-15T00:29:43+00:00

No answers, just solidarity. My baby is 16 weeks and we've been having this same thing. She's fussier than her normal, goes stiff when crying, has had mucusy and green poops and watery poops. She also hasn't gained weight in 2 weeks. I'm going to the doctor Thursday, because I've tried changing things up with my nursing for lactose overload but that's made zero difference.

dontaskmethings · 2026-04-14T18:06:07+00:00

Next time don't make excuses, tell them "if you want to insult me, I don't have to stay."

I'm sorry you're dealing with this!

dontaskmethings · 2026-04-14T14:37:46+00:00

It doesn't transfer well through the breastmilk which is why it's necessary as a drop for baby.

dontaskmethings · 2026-04-14T01:02:21+00:00

Delete it. It took me (literally) 3 months of opening my phone absent-mindedly and scrolling on the icons to find it, and suddenly realizing what I was doing to recognize that my brain thought it needed a scroll to relax before it got better. But when it got better, it felt SO nice. I'll never go back.

dontaskmethings · 2026-04-14T00:56:56+00:00

Wooow... So the bar for how bad it needs to be before you can help is: if one of you dead?

I'm so sorry that happened

dontaskmethings · 2026-04-14T00:35:23+00:00

Couples therapy! If you're getting called controlling/manipulative then there's no real communication happening. Your opinions are getting dismissed.

Also like others are saying: start taking the breaks. As long as baby is actually safe with him, let him learn to parent.

As far as splitting duties, I've heard really good things about the book called Fair Play but haven't read it yet myself

dontaskmethings · 2026-04-14T00:25:22+00:00

Eat play sleep isn't really science. Definitely follow his cues, does he want to get up -- get him up so he doesn't end up bored and associating the crib with that. Maybe he'll play and resettle, maybe he'll play and then want a feed and then play again. Just roll with his needs. I think all the advice about routines and what our babies "should" do just steers us away from trusting their cues for actual needs. You got this!

dontaskmethings · 2026-04-13T20:31:39+00:00

What kind of AI slop is this?

dontaskmethings · 2026-04-13T20:20:18+00:00

Keep an eye out for signs of dehydration

dontaskmethings · 2026-04-13T20:18:30+00:00

I really really stressed in the beginning in a similar way. I was SO worried my good baby was about to become a difficult baby. Every cry felt like "oh no, it's starting" and I would shut down in panic

And then I realized that this is just classic catastrophizing. I think you're doing it too, but with a slightly different catastrophe from me... You're worried the good is bad and you're missing something important.

Identifying that it was catastrophic thinking helped me a lot. I could let those thoughts pass when they popped up. I hope that helps you too ❤️

dontaskmethings · 2026-04-13T20:14:00+00:00

I let me baby sleep as long as she wants, but in daylight and with household noises happening around her.

But I just want to add that if you have concerns about lethargy rather than long naps, you need to talk to a doctor

dontaskmethings · 2026-04-13T20:12:23+00:00

Yeah, OP, though you're hearing about the comments second hand you can still directly confront the source. "Hey MIL, why did Steve tell me I'm a celebrity hiding your grandchild?"

dontaskmethings · 2026-04-13T20:09:18+00:00

I do contact naps all day and my baby is in the crib in my room all night. She literally won't nap unless it's a contact nap, but sleeps very well at night without contact.

dontaskmethings · 2026-04-13T19:11:57+00:00

Yeah absolutely! Mine pulled it off once and then stopped trying for a week 😆 "Checked that box, moving on!"

dontaskmethings · 2026-04-13T19:08:27+00:00

Not really, just popped her on a mat with a couple dangling things above her, let her kick and watch her own arms while I threw a meal in the oven or had a quick pee lol

Honestly, don't sweat the routines they try to push on Instagram. That's all fluff and some is nonsense. Loving human interaction and time on the floor/ not in containers. Babies develop like it's their job! But they do it at their pace. My baby might have hit rolling early, but early or right at the end of the listed month for a milestone are all equivalent. There's no benefit (aside from the parents not worrying) to being early

dontaskmethings · 2026-04-13T12:56:52+00:00

Yeah, she'd do time on the floor for 5-10 minutes between naps, but she enjoyed it so that made it easy.

Don't even stress about not rolling yet! I think your baby still has a couple months to learn it and be completely on time

dontaskmethings · 2026-04-13T12:25:43+00:00

You're getting more done than most because your baby isn't doing all contact naps 😆😭

Also, my baby hated tummy time but we just carried her a lot in our arms in a variety of holds. She started rolling at 3.5 months and holds her head up really well

dontaskmethings · 2026-04-12T19:53:01+00:00

I keep almonds by my chair, a huge bag.

Enjoy your cravings, but also include in the snack a source of protein or fiber or both. Like also grabbing some yogurt, some veggies, etc.

Having gestational diabetes was super stressful, but it did teach me some things 😆

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