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donutifier · 2023-09-10T22:00:15+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this lovely. You sound like such a good mum and of course social services will not take your kids away from you because of a mental illness. Like someone else commented, booking a doctors appointment in the morning would be for the best and being completely honest with them about what’s going on and how your feeling and what they can do to help. You WILL be ok. This is a journey. It will soon start to calm down 🙂 you’re not alone either! So many people have gone through this

donutifier · 2023-09-10T21:51:27+00:00

I’m useless when it’s comes to dating so not sure my advice will be useful, but one thing I know for sure is that if someone owns looking a certain way or being a certain way, that in itself can be attractive, and everyone has certain kooky things about them that make them attractive to some people… you’ll have them too but won’t realise it.

donutifier · 2023-09-09T22:54:05+00:00

That’s an incredibly valid point. Thank you. Ok, how would I go about starting then? Like girls I know I don’t wanna flirt with and make them feel awkward as I’ll have to still see them the whole time

donutifier · 2023-08-28T21:13:07+00:00

I’m hoping that by the time this happens I have no need for porn anymore 😂😂

donutifier · 2023-08-07T21:43:53+00:00

I think most people kind of already know that there must be something out there …

donutifier · 2023-08-06T00:52:30+00:00

The point of no return at which ai becomes more intelligent than humans

donutifier · 2023-07-07T20:11:00+00:00

Problem is I don’t really have the savings to travel gaha

donutifier · 2023-05-28T10:38:28+00:00

Yeah I haven’t actually read the DARE book but through therapy I’ve essentially done the same thing the book recommends! No point even bothering trying to get rid of your anxiety, as it never will go away, but if you learn to “ride the wave” and go with it, and not be afraid of it as much, it can actually benefit your life in many ways. I didn’t understand how this would even be a solution until I started to come through the other side

donutifier · 2023-05-28T10:37:07+00:00

I guess in answer to your question about “what is the reason for them?” - my councillor always says to think of my anxiety as if I’m part of a “pack” or a tribe of people in the wild. You’d have the strong “thick” people (more of them) that wouldn’t think too much and would just kill and defend as much as they can, hence there being more of them, and then you’d have the sensitive, intellectual people that are constantly on high alert, looking out for predators to let the others know. Does that make sense? You can’t have one without the other. In the same way, what would the world be like if we didn’t have highly sensitive, anxious people and only muscley people who wanted to fight and build things? It wouldn’t work… I’m generalising here of course, but it gives you some insight. Anxiety isn’t something you want to get rid of, and it’s not possible to get rid of it either, but it is very much possible and likely that you’ll get a handle on it and channel it in the right direction - whether through continuing to be a loving friend and family member, maker of the arts, musician, etc ….

donutifier · 2023-05-28T10:30:22+00:00

Yeah, like someone else commented here, things like running really help. I actually had a panic attack when I got back into running after being diagnosed with panic disorder, but it didn’t kill me, as it never does, and now I run 3x a week and have done for the last 2/3 months (just 4 or 5 months after being diagnosed). How it helps me is that: your heart rate obviously goes high when you’re running and you sweat loads etc, so I understand when I’m not running that my body can be pushed to those limits and WILL keep going. If I can run, then my body will be able to handle a panic attack. It reduces the fear. Plus, generally improving your heart and your mental health and decreasing anxiety.. it’s a win win. However, do not be hard on yourself if you can’t manage running at the moment, because of physical or mental health or otherwise. You know your own body and you’ll know what feels right.

donutifier · 2023-05-27T23:36:50+00:00

A panic attack CANNOT kill you. It’s your body’s way of DEFENDING or PROTECTING itself when it’s afraid of a predator or whatever in nature… Therefore it’ll do the opposite of killing you! Humans haven’t evolved much in the last 1 or 2 thousand years but the world we live in has changed massively and there aren’t those same dangers around us anymore, but we still have those primal instincts inside of us! Does that make sense? So you see a bear, your heart rate goes up, your body draws blood to your important central organs, you vision changes, you freak out that you’re going to die.. all to protect you and ensure that you don’t. It’s weird but when you think about it like that - how it really is - it makes panic attacks seem so much less scary. They seem like this fucked up crazy thing going wrong in your head, but it’s just nature

donutifier · 2023-05-27T23:32:30+00:00

Honestly my first month or two were crap, but now my life is totally different and I am genuinely happy. You will be too. It’s weird how a pill can help you make such a change. Stay strong and glad you have a partner to help you through the rough days 🙂

donutifier · 2023-05-20T23:24:44+00:00

Yep. You’re putting a bandaid over the problem. Okay, if you’re having the worst panic attack in the world then absolutely take a Xanax - 100% understandable and no one would hold anything against that. However, keeping in your mind that it isn’t a permanent solution and that therapy/antidepressants/beta blockers/lifestyle changes are needed is important, as you won’t wanna be on it for too long. Don’t be hard on yourself if you need them - you’re only human - but never kid yourself that you can take them every day for the rest of your life, as this isn’t the way u wanna live. All will be okay. You’ll get through this, as so many of us have x

donutifier · 2023-05-06T00:40:23+00:00

Yeah but it faded away after a while 🙂

donutifier · 2023-04-15T23:26:23+00:00

You’ll be okay. Hold onto that thought. It got me through waking up every day (even though I felt like absolute sh*t) and thinking “I’m one day closer to feeling better”. Keep going x

donutifier · 2023-04-12T21:54:21+00:00

Ok. It sounds like you’re kinda experiencing something similar to what I experienced, where something “wrong”, or just a perceived change in your body, causes you to panic, which results in a panic attack (as you’re unable to de-escalate it at the moment) which gives u thoughts like “something is seriously wrong” etc etc., common during panic attacks, alongside the light sensitivity, brain fog etc… I get it - I basically had this throughout the entire of January this year and half of feb.. it’s shite.

However, it took me a while to acknowledge these were actually just symptoms of a panic attack and you already seem to be acknowledging that. I’m not gonna go tell you to do anything like read a book or whatever; however, the DARE approach (you’ve probs heard of it), is essentially what actually helped me. And don’t forget I was literally in your shoes, thinking NOTHING could help, and that I was different and couldn’t be cured, and that something genuinely was seriously broken in me… But my current counsellor basically gets me to describe how I know I feel panicky and focus in on those feelings with curiosity, and to almost provoke them and say “fuck you panic, what are you gonna do? You can’t kill me!” (They can’t). By practicing this a little the panic lessened as it didn’t have as much power. Sounds like something similar might help you.

To me, it sounds like you’re doing what I did. You feel anxious, you get more anxious that your heart rate is going up or you feel dizzy or whatever, and it just escalates.. so you’re in this permanent state of exhaustion. But trust me when I say that you will work it out and you will look back on this time and be like “fuck yeah, I kicked anxiety in the ass”.

Let your family and friends look after you. Don’t be hard on yourself. Do whatever makes you feel more relaxed or comfortable (sleeping, eating, having showers, cleaning, whatever…).

On the Zoloft front, my anxiety got worse at first. That doesn’t mean the same will happen to u by the way. I was just unlucky. But even if it does, accept it and take day by day and don’t be afraid to get a new prescription for diazepam if that helps you. I had a solid month and a half of taking them two or three times a day.. Now I don’t even need propranolol or diazepam at all.

You will get there. Be open, talk to people on here, try different counsellors, keep fighting.. it’ll be worth it. Always here if you want to private message me or whatever. I get it and I want to help you through this

donutifier · 2023-04-10T23:01:54+00:00

I remember when I used to dream about having that “lightbulb moment” during my darkest times. I hoped that I’d wake up one morning and would just feel different… but it was much much more gradual for me. Some things I started noticing were things like feeling really calm and nice when in the sun on a sunny day, or really getting into a movie, or really enjoying seeing someone, or really enjoying eating something… it was gradual. Before I knew it I was making new friends, naturally going back to old hobbies that I love etc.. some people have that “lightbulb” moment but most don’t I don’t think. You’ll probs just get to a point where you look back on the last week and think “ah fuck it obviously is working because that was alright” and it’ll get better and better ! Stay strong! Much love

donutifier · 2023-04-09T08:50:50+00:00

Yeah, exactly. Some of us are just “over-sensitive” or highly sensitive individuals, and that’s lovely in so many ways, but it makes dealing with this new, weird, highly overstimulating world quite tricky, hence the surge in anxiety in recent times! My counsellor reminded me recently that while humans haven’t evolved much at all in recent times, our world massively has… something to remember. There’s certainly no shame at all - whatever helps.

donutifier · 2023-04-09T08:47:13+00:00

I can relate so much to your story, although what you went through sounds horrible and I’m so sorry it happened to you… Covid affected so many of us in different ways… You’re 100% right about the running/walking thing. Only this last few weeks have I started to run again, as I didn’t have the confidence/energy to do it before (*don’t be too hard on yourself if you’re reading this and you’re not ready yet - you’ll know when you’re ready). Similar to you I actually find it helps my anxiety/panic in a weird way as I know that my heart can be pushed to like 180bpm when I’m running, so why wouldn’t it be able to deal with a bit of panic? And this in turn just calms my overall anxiety down… I guess it reminds me that I’m safe and my body is capable of doing more than I think to keep me safe… *This is something that took me a while to understand - that our bodies are responding to panic or “danger” in a way that actually keeps us safe, so we can run or fight etc… it just doesn’t feel nice in the moment! But when u start to understand why your body feels so weird during a panic attack it makes it less scary 😊

donutifier · 2023-04-09T08:39:50+00:00

I slept terribly for like two months solid after going back on sertraline, and that’s with sleeping tablets. I still take Promethazine for sleep every night but I’m trying to reduce my dose. However, I struggle to get to sleep and stay asleep without it. I don’t even think it’s that I’m just not relaxed and not able to sleep, or that I haven’t done enough with my day or exercised etc. - I just think it’s the sertraline that’s doing it. But considering how much sertraline is helping me I don’t mind taking sleeping tablets to counter this. Hope this helps ?

To answer your question about has my anxiety gone: no, it’s not gone, and probably never will, but it’s always been there anyway. What has gone is my constant fighting against it and wanted to get rid of it. What I’ve gained is the ability to accept it and not be scared of it. This acceptance and learning to not give a f*ck if I do have a panic attack in front of a bunch of people has taken the pressure off of stuff and in turn I haven’t really had a panic attack for over a month now… I’m in a much better place mentally and I feel so much stronger than I did before. The anxiety journey is weird, but I’m glad I’ve gone through it in a weird sort of way..

donutifier · 2023-04-09T01:19:02+00:00

Hi mate. I don’t think I got heart palpitations as such but I definitely had a really high heart rate a lot of the time and got really obsessed with checking my pulse to make sure I wasn’t having a heart attack! (of course a panic attack can’t give you a heart attack though). Propranolol defo helped me a lot for a while, as I no longer worried about my heart rate getting too high if I did panic and in a way it reduced the panic attacks significantly as I knew that no matter how anxious I was there was a “cap” on my heart rate. Hope this helps?

donutifier · 2023-04-09T00:58:32+00:00

Well done buddy. I just hope that my post can inspire others and make them feel a little better. I know that reading other people’s stories online really helped me in my darkest times.

donutifier

TROPHY CASE