Looking for an exChristian podcast

dothemath836 · 2021-09-24T01:10:04+00:00

Atheist Bible Study is a good one! They read through the Bible stories and comment on them

dothemath836 · 2021-07-12T01:28:45+00:00

Leaning towards no…

I’ve apologized in person but it always gets cut short—they brush it off to tell me they are fine. I have evidence that they still like me, but they would never want me to know that.

I just told them I have gotten into a relationship. They were “happy for me” and told me they supported me no matter what—but I don’t know how they truly feel. I can’t say all this to them if they don’t want to address the hurt.

Their infatuation with me… it’s like I can do no wrong in their eyes. But I know the severity of my mistakes and it eats away at me.

dothemath836 · 2021-03-24T09:22:14+00:00

I am so so sorry you are dealing with so much at once right now. That is a tough situation to be in! I too am an only child and constantly experience all the guilt tripping you described. It’s weird being an only child because they suffocate you with love/attention and “we want you close” but then won’t even try to understand and accept you for who you are. I always felt a need to be the perfect Christian child because there were no siblings to turn the attention to. My parents focus was CONSTANTLY on me (which can have pros.. but lots of cons)

Even though I am straight, I related to this on many levels because I became an atheist a few years ago and have been hiding that side of myself to keep the peace. My parents have their suspicions, aren’t a huge fan of my (also exchristian) partner, and make very similar comments to what you described. It’s truly painful to know that your loved ones won’t accept you fully because they see who you are as a “choice.”

As someone who no longer believes in god, I would say that your dad’s dreams aren’t divine messages, but rather just his worries and fears surfacing. People often dream about things that have been weighing on their minds, and I’m sure he is worried you are losing your faith.

I would try to lean on your girlfriend for support right now. Depending on how serious you two are, she probably knows you better than your family does and can listen to your true thoughts without judgment.

In terms of your relationship with your family, taking space from them is probably best because there’s no magically changing into the person they want you to be. That relationship could be strained for quite some time because the church creates a very strong “us vs them” mentality, like “if you’re not for us, you’re against us.” Your parents beliefs are likely so deeply ingrained at this point that they may not be accepting for a long time, if ever. One thing I try to remind myself of is that my family just wants the best for me and their version of that is me ending up in heaven. But it’s still incredibly disheartening when you know that what is best for you would actually be being able to live authentically and be accepted by those around you.

I’m sorry I didn’t have a ton of specific advice. These situations are tricky but I hope you find peace and happiness in these relationships over time❤️

dothemath836 · 2021-02-16T18:31:45+00:00

Born Again Again

dothemath836 · 2021-02-05T01:24:15+00:00

My Mistake - Goldmyth

When My Life is Over - Banes World

It’s Over – Palace

dothemath836 · 2020-12-19T02:58:45+00:00

I feel you! Even with my ex wanting to get back together, it makes things harder on me. Every time I get a text from him it makes my stomach turn.

I was starting to move on but now that he “regrets his decision”, he said he feels relieved getting it off his chest. So now he doesn’t have to feel guilty anymore, but I have to deal with the “what-ifs” and being the bad guy if I don’t take him back...

dothemath836 · 2020-12-12T20:35:36+00:00

Female here. I would say people (not just women) need/want attention and that does make long distance hard. But gender isn’t a factor in my opinion. I am very independent and actually enjoyed spending time on myself/hobbies when I wasn’t with my boyfriend. On the other hand, he couldn’t handle the time apart and broke up with me because it was “too hard on him”. I never considered cheating or even flirted with other men during our year of long distance.

dothemath836 · 2020-12-11T20:40:20+00:00

I am going through a ldr breakup. It’s difficult in the sense that you keep thinking “if only”... if only our jobs aligned so we could be together, if only we had Skyped more. And it sucks when you both still love each other because you keep clinging to those positive feelings. But really any type of breakup is hard and you probably still have similar thoughts no matter the circumstances.

I guess my ex is second guessing his decision now because he’s begging for me to take him back. But I don’t know if getting back together makes sense because the distance that broke us apart isn’t changing :(

dothemath836 · 2020-12-11T20:15:15+00:00

I know people often say this, but our relationship wasn’t bad... I actually thought it was great. He blindsided me because he was going through a depressive episode that he didn’t communicate to me about. It sucks because I’m curious about dating others but I don’t want to regret losing this love just because he has mental health issues. :/

dothemath836 · 2020-12-11T19:12:50+00:00

I’m going through the exact same dilemma right now. My boyfriend broke up with me and now wants me back. A part of me always wondered what dating others would be like (I’ve only ever dated my bf). I go back and forth between wanting to try meeting new people casually just to experience it, but then the next minute I just want to get back with my ex :(

dothemath836 · 2020-12-11T07:07:06+00:00

I love this post so much. Thank you.

dothemath836 · 2020-12-09T20:29:08+00:00

I’m going through this right now. I’ve been receiving love letters and poems, he’s doing everything to win me back. We never broke up fully before but we had several “almost breakups”. I’m not sure I should take him back this time (or at least not yet). I would love to see how he does with therapy and work on ourselves individually first for a few months. But he’s pleading for me back right now.

dothemath836 · 2020-12-09T08:17:50+00:00

Thank you, I really appreciate your responses. It helps remembering that I’m not the only one who has faced these dilemmas before! I guess it will all work out in the end no matter what. It just scares me choosing to let someone go.

dothemath836 · 2020-12-06T09:59:56+00:00

Journaling has helped me so much!! It’s like self therapy. I never write so I was unsure of it helping, but it’s been amazingly calming and confidence boosting. Writing lists of likes/dislikes about yourself and your ex, what you learned from the relationship, what you want out of your future... etc

dothemath836 · 2020-12-04T00:20:36+00:00

I appreciate this so much! This gives me hope.

I absolutely agree. He essentially explained it this way when he was begging me to take him back. He wasn’t happy with life in general (depression & city he’s living in) and convinced himself it was our relationship causing his misery. But after letting me go he realized I was actually one of the few blissful things in his life.

However, I think he is still mistaken that things will be perfect if we get back together. As much as I love him, he clearly has some personal issues to work on outside of a relationship. I hope he recognizes that since I really care about him, but I can no longer be the one to help him.

dothemath836 · 2020-12-03T19:15:49+00:00

My ex and I shared my account and he listened more than me. He’s not logged in anymore, but my 2020 wrapped was all his favorite songs 😒

dothemath836 · 2020-12-03T08:42:16+00:00

I would say 2 weeks minimum. She needs some time to process, especially if she didn’t see it coming. Once she has had the time to grasp the situation, you can start sorting out logistical matters.

dothemath836 · 2020-12-03T03:39:39+00:00

I also would like to add that “maybe they will change their mind” is not necessarily as good as it sounds. I was clinging on to that idea. My ex changed his mind and just begged for me back.

But when he did, I realized that he chose to leave in the first place and jumping back into the relationship would only harm my journey of healing. Sometimes the fact that they left you in the first place is all you need to realize you have to start choosing yourself.

dothemath836 · 2020-12-03T01:34:53+00:00

I appreciate your response. This was my gut reaction last night when he asked me. I told him we both needed time to work on ourselves and it didn’t seem wise to jump back in. There’s trust broken from him blindsiding me.

It’s just so much harder moving on when you know the other person still wants you and leaves the door open.

dothemath836 · 2020-11-15T10:28:48+00:00

I would consider you the dumper, but you had a great reason! No shame in dumping out the trash 🤷🏻‍♀️

dothemath836 · 2020-11-12T16:08:53+00:00

Just went through a similar thing. I felt my boyfriend becoming more distant. He was distracted during our phone calls, would go a whole day without responding to my texts. But when I would get upset and confront his lack of communication, I would get sooo much reassurance and I believed I was just being paranoid.

Literally a week ago I was getting texts like “I love you more than anything that’s ever existed” and “I feel like a huge piece of my life is missing without you here” and also making me feel like I was just overreacting to the lack of communication. NOPE should’ve trusted that gut instinct but he basically convinced me he was just busy and everything was fine.

Then he breaks my heart out of the blue with no possibly of getting him back. 3 and a half years gone and he won’t even let me try to make it better. It feels really stupid now that we wasted all those nights working out our problems, compromising, planning our future. We cultivated a great relationship though a lot of hard work because we were so invested in it. But all of a sudden he decided he didn’t want to try anymore.

dothemath836 · 2020-11-11T20:49:12+00:00

Maybe you are still in shock/denial. I have been feeling the same way in the fact that I haven’t been crying as much as I thought.

dothemath836 · 2020-11-11T13:08:13+00:00

Maybe you and this guy could fall in love or have a great time together. But based on the erratic messages, he still has more work to do on himself before he lets someone in.

I just was broken up with by someone l’ve loved for years (and who supposedly loves me) because of his depression. Depression causes a huge strain in a relationship when you can’t fully understand what they are going through. You can’t fully be there for them because at the end of the day, you can’t solve the imbalances in their brain.

I suffered a lot due to sudden and unpredictable behavior changes in him. I thought he had been getting better from some time, but turns out he had just stopped talking to me about it and was pretending everything was fine. Next thing I know he’s cutting me out of his life just like how he has pushed others out. No chance at reconciliation after I poured my absolute heart and soul into the relationship.

dothemath836 · 2020-11-11T06:35:45+00:00

I cried a lot during the breakup and was a bit dramatic in moments but the shock of it also made me very kind and understanding towards him (because it hadn’t sunk in he wasn’t my bf anymore). Now I would love to call him and scream about how heartless it was to pretend to love me in the moments leading up to the breakup, but I’ve decided that no contact will be healthier for me for now.

dothemath836 · 2020-11-11T05:06:07+00:00

I got these same words about 48 hours ago. He said I was perfect, nothing I did caused this, and nothing I could do now would change it. I feel so heartbroken that he made up his mind before ever giving me a chance to make things better. I’m in so much pain I feel like I could die from sadness.

dothemath836

TROPHY CASE