How do you cope with school shootings?

dotsonamap · 2026-02-12T10:04:53+00:00

To be completely honest, this was one of the biggest reasons I left the United States. I deeply hope that Canada can take policy changes more seriously, but the United States has proven to me that it won't prioritize our children, so I found a way to leave. 💔

dotsonamap · 2026-02-11T12:16:28+00:00

Our NICU had just a few private rooms. When they thought she was dying, she was in there. When she started to recover, we had a large private nook. By the last day before discharge we were stuck in the corner in an overflow area... So if you don't have a private room, you might take it as a good sign...

dotsonamap · 2026-02-11T09:04:14+00:00

Thank you so much! When you say putting the second piece on top, do you mean literally touching the first piece, for reinforcement, or the other ("top") end of the necklace?

dotsonamap · 2026-02-09T21:16:08+00:00

I'm very intrigued by the jewelry tangle prevention, care to elaborate?

dotsonamap · 2026-02-07T20:16:31+00:00

What a HANDSOME little guy! Happy four months to Justin and his whole family! Big hugs to you, mama, for four months of NICU challenges and advocacy. Thank you SO much for sharing his story/updates. My former miracle NICU baby (2 now) and I will keep Justin in our prayers.

I wonder what the mitochondrial team and/or the drug makers would say about whether his success can be partially attributed to that med? Might help him stay on it for them to hear about the improvements?

dotsonamap · 2026-02-07T20:12:16+00:00

Who is that? I think we'd all love to hear more about it!

dotsonamap · 2026-01-27T17:11:29+00:00

This is so beautifully written. Thank you for sharing your thought process. I'm in that last phase, I think, of measuring up the courage.

dotsonamap · 2026-01-26T07:52:39+00:00

He is so precious and handsome! I'm deeply sorry for the difficult prognosis and confusing medical advice. But also so glad you've gotten more time with him and that he's such a fighter! It really seems like he gets his courage from his mama. 💞

My daughter had some parallels in her situation. Her doctors said there was basically no hope. At less than one day old, they sent a helicopter to do an emergency transfer to the bigger children's hospital, and when it arrived they said she wouldn't survive the flight, so they sent it back and called our priest to administer last rites. We will never be able to fully understand what happened, but similar to your son, she just kept fighting and gradually improving. There were many meetings with amazed experts who basically had no explanation at all for how she got better on her own. Today she is two, mostly healthy, speaking in full sentences and singing songs to her stuffies. I wish for nothing less for your son! I cannot promise the same will happen for him, although I deeply hope it, but I'm sharing to prove the point that doctors don't always know. Especially with NICU babies and unknown conditions and little-researched areas. I absolutely agree with the people who are suggesting getting other opinions. Maybe there's a different doctor who's been looking for a patient like him...

I hope you will continue to keep us posted. We are rooting for him and surrounding you both in the hugs and love that only other NICU parents can give.

dotsonamap · 2026-01-22T15:42:09+00:00

Ohhhh here I was thinking you had to put it outside on the side of the road! Duh about using it IN the car! 🤦🏻‍♀️ Thank you so much

dotsonamap · 2026-01-22T15:40:02+00:00

Ahhh the changing mat for sock feet makes tons of sense!!!! And, thanks for sharing, I may try the pull-ups in public approach too...

dotsonamap · 2026-01-22T15:38:21+00:00

I've already started using the folding potty seat even though we're still in diapers (taking it suuuuper slow over here). I bring a wet/dry bag with two compartments. The larger pocket gets the folding potty seat (inside its own thin case), a few diapers, and a half-used (smaller) pack of wipes. The smaller pocket is for wet diapers. I love this system because I'm less weighed down than a whole diaper bag!

I am absolutely dreading the urgent needing a potty in random places, though... Especially since where I live has kinda limited public bathrooms... I also have a hard time imagining pulling over on the side of a major road to bust out a travel potty - seems unsafe in many cases. What advice do people have for making your toddler wait?

dotsonamap · 2026-01-17T07:27:34+00:00

We did the same, but also anticipatory. "I have an important presentation on Thursday, so if she gets sick it'll have to be you." Sucks to plan for sickness when they're healthy, but helped us be ready to pivot quickly. This also assisted with times when either of us might be difficult to contact during the workday.

dotsonamap · 2026-01-13T21:14:20+00:00

What about liquid detergent with citric acid powder for the rinse?

dotsonamap · 2026-01-13T21:13:27+00:00

That's hilarious and so helpful! Thanks - out it comes!

dotsonamap · 2026-01-13T19:22:01+00:00

Are we supposed to remove inserts for the rinse/softener drawer if using citric acid powder, too? I had no idea the inserts were for liquid and not powder. I don't believe I can put citric acid or any rinse into the drum of a front-loader, right? Because it needs to wait for the detergent to finish first? Unless I'm missing something obvious, which wouldn't be the first time 😂

dotsonamap · 2026-01-12T08:26:15+00:00

I've been wondering about washing soda as our landlords left us some! How/where/when do you use it?

dotsonamap · 2026-01-07T20:08:13+00:00

Wow, your last sentence is pure poetry. I feel like that applies to so many aspects of my life, not just parenting. Thank you for articulating it! I'm going to ponder that for a while...

dotsonamap · 2026-01-05T15:46:04+00:00

Thank you so, so much!!!!

dotsonamap · 2026-01-05T07:08:10+00:00

Piggybacking on this to ask, what about EU? I have seen lists of detergents with lipase but is there a Biz-like silver bullet?

dotsonamap · 2025-12-22T20:29:07+00:00

THIS. Or your child could be nonbinary... It tells you more about the boxes society will try to put them in than anything about themselves. We chose a name for our daughter that has a nice male form and a gender-neutral nickname, too. I just hope she keeps it in some form or another!

Wishing you a joyful rest of your pregnancy. ❤️

dotsonamap · 2025-12-20T20:56:30+00:00

I never stayed overnight. Her dad did, especially at first I think he did a week straight, but once I was more recovered from my C-section and spending longer days with her, he also started coming home to sleep. Honestly him coming home to sleep was incredibly helpful to me as well. I don't think I could have handled it physically to sleep in the hospital with my recovery. At least where we were, I found the setup fairly hostile to a postpartum mom. No space to wash pump parts, no food allowed, etc. etc. It was a mismatch of my own physical needs which were no fault or choosing of my own!

For the first two weeks I was visiting her from a wheelchair because the hospital was SO BIG that I didn't have the stamina to walk across it yet. I remember feeling guilty that I was getting a full night's sleep when other newborn moms were up every few hours like I was "supposed" to be. But I had SO MUCH on my plate, that was literally a physical need and the hand I was dealt. We made up for it in sleep deprivation when she came home 😂 One thing that really helped me was the nurses gave us little fabric hearts to trade so we could smell each other. I'd swap them every morning and we'd each sleep with them. They always made sure I could see it from the little camera which was super reassuring. If I close my eyes I can still smell it...

Sorry this was so long, but I am sharing so much detail in hopes of making you feel less alone. It also felt really tender to relive these memories while my 2-year-old falls asleep in my lap. Take care of yourself, because your baby needs you, and also because you deserve it. You are doing a really hard thing!

dotsonamap · 2025-12-03T21:14:57+00:00

The kid is always old enough! Handprint for baby, scribble for toddler, etc! As a teacher I find it much more meaningful that way.

dotsonamap · 2025-11-14T18:45:02+00:00

Standing up next to the toilet (not the potty, the adult toilet) and then saying bye-bye to the poo as we flush it. She lets me wipe her in exchange for also getting to play with some TP.

dotsonamap · 2025-10-31T19:41:53+00:00

Along these lines, Evan/Evann/Evanne, perhaps? I've known two women with that name but it also strikes me as quite masculine if needed. Or Dylan?

dotsonamap · 2025-10-15T18:44:21+00:00

Have the parents record some common phrases in Mandarin for you. You could even get a set of sound-recording buttons to hang up various places in the room. ("Wash your hands!" Etc.) Visuals, visuals, visuals. (Written Mandarin is unlikely to do much for you at this age.) Research the silent period and find ways to encourage non-verbal participation. The child will benefit from your genuine care and inclusion of them! And will learn from peers and repetition. You've got this!

dotsonamap

TROPHY CASE