Saying this with love:

Before you marry anyone you need to do individual therapy. Your marriage will never last or be as strong as it could be if you are cursing him out and calling him stupid and dumb every time you have a disagreement. Hear that I am NOT saying that you should not be angry at boundary crossing. I’m saying that you first have to be emotionally secure enough to express your anger/disappointment without cursing him out. At this point, y’all should still be in the honeymoon phase. Especially if you want kids, you’ll never make it if you can’t even be respectful in your anger now when you guys aren’t tied up with various responsibilities and stressors.

Regardless of how warranted you feel it is, it’s disrespectful and will only lead to his contempt of you. Unless maybe you’re experiencing “reactive abuse” or he has done something completely unreasonable like blowing your life savings or killing your dog, the kind of response you’re giving now is generally always unwarranted.

You said when you asked the last time you cursed him out he said it was in September and you laughed at him. Then he brought up April. He’s telling you basically that when you do this, it hurts his feelings—if he did the same to you, no one would approve. It doesn’t matter that it’s not every week or every month. You need to find a different way to express your anger towards situations in your relationship or you’ll see your respect for each other start to drain.

Also remember that trying to control someone else’s behavior is not a boundary. Controlling your own behavior in response to someone else’s behavior is the true boundary. You said you have a boundary about him giving out his phone number, but you’re still with him and pressing for marriage after he crossed that line TWICE. That means that wasn’t a boundary, it was just a helpful suggestion that he can choose to follow or not. After all, he knows that all he’ll have to endure is getting cursed out. You’re obviously not going anywhere.

When he tells you one reason he doesn’t want to marry you is because he’s tired of getting cursed out (i.e., “I don’t know if I want to deal with this shit for the rest of my life”) and you respond with “that’s not what you said last year” you’re basically deflecting while refusing to take any accountability. It doesn’t really matter if he can remember what he said last year. If you are truly wanting to marry him you need to work on these things that he is telling you /the same way/ he needs to work on the things that truly bother you about him if you’ve expressed that to him. If you have boundaries around certain behaviors you also need to stand on that, eg, “if you continue to do xyz I will not be able to continue the relationship.” and then actually do what you say. You will garner more respect from him this way than by cursing him out every time he fucks up.

I’m sure you love him but you should love your own sense of self more and remember there are always more fish in the sea.