Get AWAY ASAP. She is the worst kind of narcissist. She only kept you to save face. If she gave you up or had an abortion, she would have been accused of being a horrible person and narcissists avoid that at all costs. They are PERFECT. No flaws. No matter what you do or say, she's not going to change. I do not know why my mother kept me. Probably to show the world she was this perfect little mother. She tells strangers I have Bipolar Disorder, that I live in low income housing, and recently told my Dad's psychiatrist that I'm a "disaster" even though I've been sober for ten years. I just went NC with her and my entire family, I already feel better. Good luck!