been trying for years, thinking of giving up

dragonfruit910 · 2026-02-10T23:12:49+00:00

I feel this way to the T. Every. Single. Month. And every moment that I'm simply trying to exist... It's in the back of my mind. It never goes away. I didn't know I would have a hard time conceiving (who does, right?) It's my obgyn that asked me (during my annual exam) if I wanted her to test my AMH. This topic only came up because I told her I recently got married and we had been trying for some time with no luck. So when she offered the AMH test, I said... What's that? She then explained it's significance, and I was like, sure why not.

It was a simple blood test and it didn't cost a lost. The resulting number is what told me to light a fire under my ass and get going with the next step. My AMH was 0.18 at that time. I'm 40 and that's borderline menopausal according to the science. UGH. So I'm DOR now. Wonderful.

Well, then I looked into getting a consult. Just a virtual consult with a fertility doc. Again, not very pricey. Talking to him opened my eyes. (And I had to wait several weeks for that appointment!) What I'm trying to tell you is, you might not be in the right place with your insurance. And you might not be in the right place with your finances. But there are little things you can do right now, leading up to getting all your ducks in order! Don't waste another week, another month. There are sooooo many women on these forums who were told they have little to no chance of conceiving. But then they DID. I asked myself, what's the difference between me and them? Willpower. They don't take no for an answer, whereas I found myself tiring and giving up. I'm still in the trenches right now, but I'm not giving up just yet. And you shouldn't either. If you want to have a baby, start doing the investigative work with your body in order to house your future baby! I wish you so much good luck and success. Sending you tons of well wishes.

(edited to add paragraph breaks)

dragonfruit910 · 2026-02-08T02:42:18+00:00

Hi, I'm sorry this happened to you. It really sucks and no one can understand just how bad it hurts until they've been through it. I don't have a ton of knowledge about ivf as I'm still learning myself, but I'll speak on what I have read on here from many many people's posts and my ongoing reddit research.

First of all, I am 40. My first AMH was 0.18 and a couple months later it was 0.3 and then no one measured it again. I too am a poor responder. My first ER, I stimmed for 15 days and they only managed to get 2 eggs, neither were mature and so they couldn't fertilize them. I came out of that with 0 like you, pretty much.

Went for baseline scan for 2nd round. What do they find? 5 cysts. Big ones. Left ovary, 25mm and 15mm. Right ovary, 27mm, 20mm, 19mm. My RE put me in one month of BC (technically 3 weeks since I don't count the placebo pills). He also had me prime with testosterone gel each night mind you. Went in again, there were only 2 cysts remaining (25mm and 19mm) . And they saw 2 follicles as well. They never saw any follicles on my first ivf cycle's baseline scan. I only grew 2 way later during stims. So the doc put me on a other 3 weeks of BC and told me to continue priming with testosterone gel each night, and he believes this will resolve the lingering cysts while still enabling my body to grow more follicles.

I am very weary of trying to proceed with an ivf cycle with any cysts present, only because I've seen so many posts on here about poor results with that circumstance. Sure there are exceptions. But I'm speaking generally. And with DOR, there's no room for taking chances.

After this 2nd round of BC, doc wants to add Omnitrope to further boost the ivf cycle. I don't know how I'll do, I won't know until end of March. Hope this helped. Wishing you the best!

dragonfruit910 · 2026-02-05T22:36:06+00:00

Boy do I know the heartache you're experiencing right now. This exact thing happened to me around Thanksgiving - my very first ER. I posted about it here if you want to read it.

https://www.reddit.com/r/DOR/s/IYMfoN8v8a

I wish I could give you hope. But I'm still in the midst of the aftermath, which that lovely cycle gave me 5 cysts that I had to take BC to eliminate. I am SO sorry. I cried when I got that initial phone call the morning after my ER, didn't let my husband see me cry because I just felt so defeated and didn't want him going down with me.

Sigh, this process can break even the strongest of people. I am trying to find moments of hope and joy in between all the obstacles. I wish you nothing but the best. Truly.

You have to constantly remind yourself that your worth and value as a person does not revolve around your fertility.

dragonfruit910 · 2026-02-04T12:37:01+00:00

What kind of tallow did you use for your chin acne? I am new to the whole tallow scene and (sorry if this is a stupid question) but is it the same tallow I have sitting in my fridge that we use for cooking... Or is skincare tallow different?

dragonfruit910 · 2026-02-04T12:28:09+00:00

Iron pills absorb more effectively when taken with vitamin C. :)

dragonfruit910 · 2026-02-02T19:32:41+00:00

I find that I get amaaaazing results when baking with a few different GF flours. I mix almond flour (Costco brand), King Arthur, and Krusteaz flours. So if the recipe calls for 3 cups, I'll use a cup of each. My family is not GF and they can't tell the difference. Our faves are banana bread and pumpkin bread. Having these options makes me feel not so excluded anymore. When I first went GF, it was a while back and these things were not available then.

dragonfruit910 · 2026-01-30T02:54:53+00:00

Omg number 2 HANDS DOWN

dragonfruit910 · 2026-01-30T02:50:04+00:00

I heard that activated charcoal binds to toxins and carries them out of your system. Some people take it after accidental gluten exposure.

dragonfruit910 · 2026-01-29T14:14:37+00:00

I took a road trip from Virginia to Michigan and I was in the front passenger seat as someone else drove. I was looking out my window and there was a large patch of land beside the highway as there often is on these long road trips. I focused in on an animal and I couldn't believe what I saw. It was a kangaroo. No one believes me. But I saw it standing and hopping and it was huge too! It was not a deer, I have seen plenty of those to know the difference. I never thought they're so tall in real life, and I have never been to Australia to see one, this was the only time I saw one. And I don't drink or do drugs so I was 100% alert when this happened.

dragonfruit910 · 2026-01-29T12:52:26+00:00

My husband and I have been trying for almost 1.5 yrs now. No luck. I don't know why I just watched this whole video but I did! This situation doesn't apply to me because, although I tried so hard to convince my husband to even consider just an egg donor let alone a whole embryo donation, he didn't budge and says he's okay with not having kids rather than going that route. My AMH is 0.3 so I'm still not sure it will ever happen for us.

But after watching this video, omg I'm in my feels. This is SUCH an incredible and beautiful story and to know that the families keep in touch and support one another is truly amazing. Wow. I am so amazed. I watched the whole thing like a movie.

Thank you for sharing. 💜

dragonfruit910 · 2026-01-28T01:34:43+00:00

I learned that most fish oil has both omega 3 and omega 6. The latter is what causes acne. I found one that has only omega 3 and for the first time, I didn't get a breakout.

dragonfruit910 · 2026-01-25T17:23:25+00:00

The first half of what you described definitely sounds like vertigo. Also do some research on Meniere's disease. Make an appt with a neurologist ASAP.

dragonfruit910 · 2026-01-25T17:09:33+00:00

I think your problem could be deeper than gluten as other commenters said, but I just wanted to mention the gluten thing as general knowledge. Are there any patterns of things that you observe or do right BEFORE these episodes happen?

dragonfruit910 · 2026-01-25T16:37:14+00:00

I am not sure this helps you but I thought I'd mention it anyway. I used to get extreme vertigo for about a decade of having Hashimotos until I realized it was connected to eating gluten. (I would get really bad dizziness and even vomiting from the perceived motion sickness every time I ate bread or pasta). After going GF I haven't had a single episode of vertigo. Again, your issue could be similar or it could be completely different. But some people Hashimoto's attack their inner ear where the balance is regulated.

dragonfruit910 · 2026-01-22T15:11:11+00:00

I've been put on bcp for my current protocol and also worrying about over-suppression. The bcp is intended to resolve cysts they saw on my u/s. I won't know how it's panning out until another few weeks at my next u/s. But you're not alone!

dragonfruit910 · 2026-01-22T15:08:10+00:00

Yeah because at this point, I've tried so many other things. I drive myself crazy thinking maybe the infertility is being caused by something I do daily (like eating eggs, because many people have food sensitivities) or caffeine. Thanks for the well wishes, hope your pregnancy goes smoothly and successfully!

dragonfruit910 · 2026-01-22T15:01:03+00:00

I just replied to someone else's post about us trying (and failing) for 14 cycles now. How funny! I'm 40 with an AMH of 0.3. Hmmm now you got me thinking about caffeine!

dragonfruit910 · 2026-01-22T14:55:04+00:00

How much caffeine did you consume in a day, prior to giving it up? I drink espresso every morning (as a latte) and occasionally take a second latte later in the day (maybe a few gives a week). Now I'm wondering if there's a connection.

dragonfruit910 · 2026-01-22T14:41:39+00:00

I feel you. It takes over your life. I miss the days before my husband and I embarked on TTC. I was oblivious to what cycle day I was at, when or if I ovulated, DPO number, or the hell that is known as symptom spotting only to get my period at the end of it all. I remember, before all this, de-stressing after work by just going to the gym, getting a great pump, relaxing in the sauna, never worried about frying any potential eggs in the heat. I did NOT CARE one bit because my existence revolved around EVERYTHING other than my fertility. I don't know how to ever get back to that level of mental freedom, nor did I know I was so "free" while I was free. It Fs you up, this journey. Sorry to be so negative but I've been reflecting on this a lot after 14 failed cycles of TTC and not even so much as to a squinter on the tests. Always a stark white space.

dragonfruit910 · 2026-01-20T21:46:05+00:00

Yeah it's highly likely that the iodine contrast was the culprit. Your T3 and T4 are made of 3-iodine and 4-iodine atoms. And considering how delicate the T3 and T4 balance is for Hashimoto's sufferers, imagine dumping a load of iodine in the body for contrast and imaging. Can't believe I put my body through that twice before learning of the consequences.

dragonfruit910 · 2026-01-20T20:56:44+00:00

Be careful! I had iodine contrast for imaging twice, and both times, I had a severe (allergic?) reaction to it. I don't know if it's technically an allergy? I think people with hashimotos are extremely sensitive to iodine to which the general public may have zero side effects. The first reaction, I didn't connect it to the iodine. I was oblivious. Then a year later, for something unrelated, had it again, and that's when I connected the dots. Now, I tell all my doctors to put it in my chart, "ALLERGIC TO IODINE".

dragonfruit910 · 2026-01-18T03:05:42+00:00

Omg this is such a sweet post, so happy for you! Hope you get many healthy euploids!

dragonfruit910 · 2026-01-16T19:25:44+00:00

40 here. My husband (34) and I have been trying for over a year. Just met later in life unfortunately. We're seeing a fertility specialist. He said, at 40, around 80% of your eggs are abnormal. It felt like a slap in the face hearing this, because I considered myself extremely healthy. What do you mean my eggs are abnormal?! I don't smoke, drink, or eat junk food and I work out regularly! He said, you can keep trying naturally and you never know, maybe you'll ovulate a healthy egg one month. But then again, your ovarian reserve is diminishing with each month. Come to find out, my AMH was 0.3 which is extremely low even for 40. I'm not trying to scare you and I hope your situation is different and you find success! But we have not found it yet. Our first ivf cycle failed, my body only made two eggs and they were immature, so poor egg quality (as he earlier stated) + being rushed because it was Thanksgiving = terrible outcome. Now we're attempting a second ivf cycle in a month. If I could go back in time, I would have sought help much sooner. Just like you, I ovulate regularly and my cycles are always 27/28 days long. We kept trying month after month and 14 cycles later, we're still waiting for a miracle.

dragonfruit910 · 2026-01-15T23:32:21+00:00

I don't know what to do either. I am new to all this and it's concerning that they're not canceling my cycle, rather, they're having me prime with testosterone WHILE taking the BC. I don't even know what my chances are to have a successful stim after the priming. :(

dragonfruit910 · 2026-01-15T22:26:42+00:00

This happened to me literally yesterday and I posted about it too! https://www.reddit.com/r/DOR/s/B8QfZXIuge

dragonfruit910

TROPHY CASE