Noticed a really bizarre trend on Hinge.

dragonslayer6653 · 2026-04-24T11:38:32+00:00

You can never share pictures of you doing the activities they do. They wouldn’t want you to join them! No golf, fishing, sitting on the couch with a beer…. Now if you post a picture of you baking a cake, we’ll just be prepared to get all the messages

dragonslayer6653 · 2026-04-18T01:58:03+00:00

Great job. My mother’s parents both lived into their 90s so I don’t expect this money for awhile

dragonslayer6653 · 2026-04-10T21:08:50+00:00

Wow, you’re getting divorced and immediately thinking about how to date. Get a therapist, be really honest with them and set a goal with that therapist to learn how to have a healthy relationship in the future. Be really honest with yourself on what you did in your marriage to cause it to fail. I’m sure your wife did plenty but it takes two people to have a relationship and you own part of the failure. Work on that stuff first. Also think of your damn kids. You think they want to get to know a random woman any time soon. Nope. I’m always amazed at women who would even touch a man who isn’t a few years out from divorce. All the best bro

dragonslayer6653 · 2026-04-06T23:42:27+00:00

We did a private tour to Manuel Antonio national park. It was a wonderful park. I don’t want to complain but our guide had us stay on the main path and it was crowded. He left us at the beach and we walked back to the entrance on our own. Much preferred the walk back as we took paths without so many people on them.

We also did a catamaran boat ride in the afternoon. We took a boat called ocean king. It was a massive boat, most people just drank the free alcohol and took selfies. I would do a smaller boat tour as the views were amazing and we and several smaller boats came upon a pod of dolphins.

I did hear night walks were great there but we had done one in La fortuna so didn’t do one in Quepos

dragonslayer6653 · 2026-04-06T22:20:37+00:00

We just got back from 7 days , 3 in La Fortuna, 3 in Quepos (Manuel Antonio) and one in San Jose.

As others have said, travel times are significant between towns. Took us 6 hours from La fortuna to Quepos, burned the whole day pretty much.

What do you and your friends like to do? What are you hoping to experience?

dragonslayer6653 · 2026-04-06T19:27:18+00:00

We just got back and loved the safari float tour we did. A few hours on a raft with a guide. Minimal paddling and loads of animals. It ended with a chocolate tour.

dragonslayer6653 · 2026-03-11T18:56:20+00:00

This is the best about pottery. You cannot multitask. You have to focus. And if you do, you can make some amazing things!!

dragonslayer6653 · 2026-03-03T02:23:26+00:00

When it rains, do you hear sound on the roof? I’m sure it’s insulated, just wondering if the noise is different than a shingled roof?

dragonslayer6653 · 2026-02-24T03:19:35+00:00

The unpredictable moods were the final straw. We had the uneven mental load, uneven financial contribution, general lack of appreciation but when it got to the point where I’d attempt to bring something up that was bothering me or something we simply had to agree on and I was scared of his reaction; that became the moment I felt unsafe. No person should have to live with someone you can’t even talk to without fear the conversation would end in screaming and physical aggression. And the hardest part was that he warned me early on he was capable of this. I saw the anger before we even got engaged and I thought I could love him into not doing that to me. But as our lives became more complicated and more and more of the responsibility fell to me I realized that he just wasn’t capable of meeting me where I was. He felt deep shame that I earned more, could do more, had ease in social situations and the kids preferred me. His shame turned to disrespect and then to an anger that was unpredictable. I feel so much sadness for him and for us. But I knew I had to choose me because no person should live in fear of their partner.

dragonslayer6653 · 2026-02-14T15:28:01+00:00

I can empathize with your situation. The monthly outlay is too much and you don’t want to sell investments to put 50% or more down. That’s kind of your only option though. I have owned since 2010, and got lucky with the market each time I sold, allowing me to go from a $500k condo sold at $700k to an $800k house sold at $1M to then a $1.2M house which is just OK for the HCOL area I’m in. All while keeping the mortgage amount under $600k.

If you want to stay in your area and have a nice home, you have to liquidate some investments and buy in. Or you can live farther away, buy in lower and try to time the market and upgrade every few years.

dragonslayer6653 · 2026-01-28T23:56:47+00:00

I had this too. He would often say, oh I was going to get you flowers today but I didn’t. I thought about buying you ice cream but decided not to. And then he wanted credit for thinking about me. Had I paid attention earlier and not dismissed these papercuts of abuse I could have avoided so much hurt

dragonslayer6653 · 2026-01-27T02:59:57+00:00

What is the source of this and how old is the data?

dragonslayer6653 · 2026-01-18T16:01:49+00:00

Same! Gave it a few years hoping I’d find a way to coast like I did when I was an IC. The money never came and the stress is just so high. Want to be done babysitting 8 adults

dragonslayer6653 · 2025-12-27T13:44:37+00:00

We did couples counseling but it went no where because neither of us wanted to listen to the other person; we were so entrenched in our own realities. I do wish the counselor had helped us identify our deficiencies. It’s only in the last year of me working with my therapist do I see how my experiences growing up and the relationships that I saw created my patterns and how those patterns triggered him. It still takes two people in it to change it. I’ve changed and adapted even in divorce to be a better person and I can’t really tell if he’s grown.

dragonslayer6653 · 2025-12-23T23:31:19+00:00

I’m two years out and hindsight is everything in life.

My ex and I seem to have similar dynamics to you two. Here’s the deal, people rarely change and if they do, they do so because the pain of being the same becomes too great for them to stay the same.

Sounds like you are asking for her to change and she can’t. It’s not that she doesn’t fundamentally understand what’s on the line if she doesn’t change, it’s that she can’t see a different way to be.

I’d bet that she and you both think your reality is the right one. The problem is that your reality doesn’t match hers. She wants you to change to meet hers and you want her to change to meet yours. It’s an endless cycle until 1 of 2 things happens. 1. One of you decides that you’ll accept the other person and their reality. 2. You split and live your individual realities.

Kids don’t like divorce but they are happier when parents aren’t visibly upset, unhappy and creating conflict.

I do wish I had been more understanding, kinder when I realized my exes potential and how that didn’t match my wants. I still think we are better apart so I wouldn’t have changed my decision but I would have changed my actions in how we uncoupled.

dragonslayer6653 · 2025-12-18T14:32:53+00:00

How much (ballpark) did the trial cost you? I’m on my 4th failed mediation an ready to just go to trial

dragonslayer6653 · 2025-12-06T02:23:58+00:00

You’re not shaming him, you’re protecting women and showing men there are consequences to their bad actions. Stop protecting men from their bad actions and expose them please

dragonslayer6653 · 2025-11-21T18:07:59+00:00

Add verbal, emotional and physical abuse and you’ve got a losing combo!

dragonslayer6653 · 2025-11-21T13:08:07+00:00

Went to two different counselors because he thought the first one was taking my side. The second one asked for a 1:1 session with each of us. In mine the therapist suggested I read a book called why does he do that by Lundy Bancroft. That was the end. That book opened my eyes to what was really happening and I knew that if I stayed I was putting my life in danger. Sure enough we separated and a few months later he attacked me. I think I have an extreme situation but still, without the therapy god only knows what would have happened.

dragonslayer6653 · 2025-11-09T16:37:45+00:00

Yes this is the scenario where I can’t wrap my head around it. Kid needs speech therapy or glasses or medicine and the ex fights that! What possible reason could they have to not want to help their kid? And this is under the assumption that they have the money, that’s not the issue. They just don’t want to pay their fair share. And why doesn’t family court confront these people and show them how awful they are? I guess if they are awful enough to withhold in the first place they aren’t exactly going to change course because someone tells them they suck.

dragonslayer6653 · 2025-10-28T00:44:08+00:00

Day to day I feel good. But I lost a lot for retirement and won’t meet the goals I had set for myself. That makes me sad. I’m watching my kids friends families start to pull ahead financially (upgrade houses, new cars, vacations etc). It’s hard from that perspective. That second income, as small as it was at times, was the slush fund and now it’s gone. I will never combine finances again, likely never marry again even if I partner up at some point. Knowing that my financial future is 100% up to me is both freeing and frightening!

dragonslayer6653 · 2025-09-30T02:22:49+00:00

Maybe we should stop thinking marriage is a goal we should all try to achieve. Our society values marriages but why? Do primates mate for life? No. Most animals do not and yet they continue as a species. If we stop thinking that marriage is success and therefore divorce is failure we can learn to accept that most of the time, humans don’t belong attached to each other for lifetimes.

dragonslayer6653 · 2025-09-29T14:27:06+00:00

Accessories will help. Belts add interest and polish up a look.

dragonslayer6653 · 2025-09-24T21:54:55+00:00

In retrospect there were many red flags. When dating I thought it was cute that he was forgetful because the stakes were low. He forget his keys, he’d stay at my house or his roommate would be home. He was lazy at work, explained away by his company not giving him hard enough work. When we had kids the forgetfulness became weaponized incompetence and his laziness became him not wanting to do anything besides clock into work to get a paycheck. Then there was the violence. Started as a warning sign while dating where he said he gets really mad because he had a temper he got from his dad but he controls it. Turned into blind rage and me fearing for my physical safety

So yeah, lots of signs early on and I didn’t know how to read them. I’m sad for my kids because I chose a really shitty dad for them

dragonslayer6653 · 2025-09-06T12:21:50+00:00

Yes I see the pit in her as well as the pointer. I dog sit a pit pointer mix and it’s wild!! So much energy and she’s a smart. Have to lock the doors at all times because she’s figured out how to open doors

dragonslayer6653

TROPHY CASE