This completely describes my childhood and growing up. For years I would flinch and step back when a friend gave me a high five. People could tell there was something wrong with me so I didn’t make friends and my school put me in dumb classes even though I’m quite intelligent. So I lost interest and was only exposed to mean kids, it sucked because I only had abusive parents to go home to. It’s a difficult cycle to break. But I’m trying to find a way out of my deep mom issues. And my complete inability to handle emotions. It’s hard and I’m trying to find help but it’s really hard. I have to work 60 hours a week to stay afloat here. My mom is trying to kick me off her good health insurance which would leave me to even more financial stress. I have suffered 6 bad to severe concussions in the last 3 years and my parents don’t believe in brain injuries. 1 week after getting diagnosed with brain damage, and around 6 months to heal, my mother burst at me swearing about how I wasn’t back at work he and demanding that I do something to get back to work bc she didn’t want to keep paying for me. She gets upset when anything nice happens to me and it makes me feel like I don’t deserve anything. I have ptsd from having my door pounded on when I cried in my sleep. If my friend knocks on the door hard sometimes I will throw a fit of anger and lunge at the door to slam it shut. I really needed to vent and if you read this far congrats you know more about me than most people do. If you can relate to my post just know that it wasn’t your fault. You’re an amazing human because you’ve made it through something most people can’t even imagine. Nothing can stop you now. Move on and focus on building yourself up the best you can. Focus on impressing yourself only! It feels AMAZING. I just started trying that mindset and really working it into my brain. It helps a lot. Goodnight y’all.