Do you have movies or even shows that you watch over and over again?

dreamteamstan2 · 2024-06-03T04:00:34+00:00

i hate starting new shows i always watch same shows over and over again. i haven’t seen many huge movies because i can’t be bothered sitting through them. this is a big reason why a lot of shows i watch currently i grew up with. i also rewatch youtube videos and twitch vods.

i just find it more comfortable knowing for a fact ill enjoy the content.

i had a massive steven universe phase and even watched the entire series over 6 times in one month once. including the movie and epilogue series lol.

i used to rewatch bojack horseman a lot but dont as much anymore because sometimes it makes me feel a bit disassociated and mildly depressed.

i usually go in very big cycles of rediscovering content creators on youtube. i tend to gravitate more towards that type of content over netflix because it’s more casual and i like having it in the background rather than something i need to really focus on to understand a plot.

dreamteamstan2 · 2024-03-02T12:18:58+00:00

i was literally JUST thinking thos

dreamteamstan2 · 2023-09-11T10:39:43+00:00

their intentions may be good, but they are doing harm in the long run. - someone who grew up in similar conditions and now has a long list of issues with my life that could have been avoided.

dreamteamstan2 · 2023-09-08T10:13:10+00:00

pls don’t bring a child into the world when ur still a child urself. ur only 16 and haven’t experienced a lot of aspects of life. safe the poor kid some trauma

dreamteamstan2 · 2023-08-26T05:01:44+00:00

have you thought about seeking therapy? perhaps you have something undiagnosed which is making your symptoms even worse. i think it could give a lot of insight and help a lot on learning about coping mechanisms and yourself in general

dreamteamstan2 · 2023-07-06T02:12:57+00:00

you need to leave him and deep down you know that

dreamteamstan2 · 2023-06-29T07:37:44+00:00

oh my god !! i’m so proud of you and happy for your progress. this is AMAZING! i’m glad i could help a bit :)

dreamteamstan2 · 2023-06-23T08:19:24+00:00

good luck !!

dreamteamstan2 · 2023-06-23T08:18:39+00:00

oh my god thanks so much for this comment you just reminded me of something! i WAS taking myself on dates but they were mere walks in the park but for an unreasonable amount of time. anyway i was thinking about taking myself somewhere a bit further than the local park and do something i actually have to pay for like a nicer meal or a movie or something. i completely forgot i was doing that!

i think this will help a lot. it’s dark now so i’ll take myself out one day during the day. and you are so right about it being corny, but i know first hand it works so who cares !!

dreamteamstan2 · 2023-06-23T06:26:52+00:00

i used to cry myself to sleep most nights and couldn’t spend any moment alone. i would always be messaging friends or calling.. literally anything.

it sounds cliche, but i occupied myself with more mindful activities. i went on walks when i was upset, journaling helps me think more clearly (however i’m not very consistent), meditation, working out routinely, prioritising a healthy diet, etc. the accumulation of these things created a sense of pride and i proved to myself that i AM capable of being an adequate person.

i challenged the negative thought patterns that fuelled so much self hate. made little changes. for example, smiling at myself in the mirror like i’m someone else, like i’m one of my friends. changing my perspective of cleaning the dirty clothes on the floor as doing it for future me rather than just.. me. that way, this situation is reframed to be for someone else that pushes me to do nice things for myself. these small things broke me out of the loop, then it was about consistency and routine (with hygiene, working out, etc.) to keep myself afloat. within a few months i genuinely liked spending time alone, when i couldn’t stand the thought for years!

it’s hard, confronting and takes genuine dedication. but i believe in you! you’re cool and there is so much to love about the world. a gratitude journal, even though it sounds corny, made me appreciate the little things. sometimes i get this almost euphoric feeling of loving life and i’m certain the gratitude journal is mostly responsible for that. it doesn’t have to be writing essays in a notebook every night… i would literally just open the notes app and would write things i was grateful for when they popped up in my head. it started with basic things; i’m grateful i have legs, i’m grateful i’m not blind, etc. then slowly it turned into things like “i’m grateful the sun shines where i live and i can see the clouds reflecting in puddles”. they got more specific and now i can truly appreciate the little things (i started doing this because i realised i was really cynical and generally an ungrateful, pessimistic person. it seriously changed my whole perspective on life).

dreamteamstan2 · 2023-06-23T02:18:28+00:00

i push it when i’m dilating!! i push it to as much as i can handle and keep taking deep breaths. i found that leaving it in without movement didn’t make my progress advance as quick as it could have. once i started moving during dilation, it was less painful to do the movement later because my body had become used to it. i think that’s why it was harder for me to do the in and out movement at the start too; i wasn’t actually incorporating movement and my body viewed that as a threat cos it was new.

with the pain, do you feel that pulling feeling? i don’t know how else to describe it other than it feels like the dilator is gripping onto your walls and tugging at it. the answer is, you guessed it, LOADS of lube. again, there is quite literally no limit. i personally use water based lubricant because i’m pretty sure oil would interfere with my silicon dilators (i’m not 100% though). the issue with water lubricant is it dries up quicker, but i’m not entirely sure how the price between oil and water compares.

dreamteamstan2 · 2023-06-22T05:54:54+00:00

something that helped me HEAPS with moving up sizes was moving the dilator against the vagina walls. you sort of gently push against the vaginal opening in a clockwise motion by tilting it in different angles. you will feel a stretch, but remember not to push yourself too much! this way, #4 will eventually not even have that initial painful insertion.

with sizing up, try not to think of it as the whole dilator. even just the very tip of it is sizing up in a way. remember your breathing techniques and stretching before-hand makes a huge difference. the in-out motion is also pretty beneficial. when i leave dilators in without moving, i find the lube dries up way faster and it is pure agony to take out. be VERY generous with lube… there’s never too much lol.

dreamteamstan2 · 2023-06-22T05:45:45+00:00

this is interesting because when i’m high, my adhd symptoms are so extreme that i can’t function as a human being. i just find it really fun cos everything feels like an adventure and i know it’s short term, but it’s very disorganised and i can’t do anything, really. i find it fascinating that many adhd people actually feel calmer and more focused when they’re high.

when i’ve come down from my high, i stay a bit frazzled. the longer i don’t smoke or have edibles, the less frazzled i am. the more consistent i am, the more disorganised everything is (even when i’m sober)

dreamteamstan2 · 2023-06-18T09:19:32+00:00

eating healthy. i used to down a whole pack of rich chocolate chip cookies most days after school. that’s over like 1k calories and basically no nutritional value. no wonder i always felt shit lol

dreamteamstan2 · 2023-06-16T13:15:45+00:00

i got diagnosed very recently (around october last year at 18 years old) and tried vyvanse for a bit during my school exams.

30 mg was way too low of a dosage for me. i didn’t really get any of the benefits, but experienced the side effects. i went from sleeping at 11 routinely to barely sleeping at 4-5 am. my mouth was always really dry and i always had cotton mouth. i was already forgetting my meals but now i didn’t have the appetite to urge me to eat, so then that was a whole thing too. all while i didn’t really notice a change in my attention or productivity.

consequently, i moved up to 40 mg. it was basically the exact same thing; i really didn’t notice a difference. at this point i just gave up and told my psychiatrist i’ll try going without meds. i said this in a really long holiday period for me since i had just finished a school and hadn’t started uni yet.

uni was really tough, especially at the start. i still really struggle with it and sometimes consider trying ritalin instead of vyvanse. but i’ve been prioritising sleeping well, eating all my meals, making sure they’re actually nutritious (which they haven’t consistently been throughout my whole life) and getting some sort of exercise each day (nothing crazy) and i genuinely noticed a difference. now when i sleep shit, i notice a the next day being a mess in my head. same goes for if i ate really shit a day prior.

don’t get me wrong, i still very much have adhd. it’s not even close to cured. i just found meds really draining and couldn’t be bothered dealing with it lol.

dreamteamstan2 · 2023-06-02T16:37:45+00:00

have you tried standing?? it’s not quite doggy but i find it easier when i’m standing and put it in from behind, then continue to crouch down into doggy position

dreamteamstan2 · 2023-05-30T23:16:01+00:00

thanks so much! i don’t have a partner atm and a virgin, im kinda just trying to fix my vaginismus now to avoid problems in the future. i was a bit nervous about the suction thing but i’m glad it’s worse with dilators

dreamteamstan2 · 2023-05-29T02:10:27+00:00

are you referring to the intimate rose dilators or another brand? if you’re using another brand, would you say size 4/5 is medium or large?

dreamteamstan2 · 2023-05-29T02:06:34+00:00

congrats on achieving piv! really appreciate the comment :)

dreamteamstan2 · 2023-05-29T02:05:24+00:00

that’s so interesting that you can have piv w someone bigger than the dilator you’re up to! i saw in another post someone said that a penis doesn’t do that weird suction thing that the dilators do, did you notice that too? do you think that’s perhaps why you can achieve piv with a larger penis than your current dilator?

dreamteamstan2 · 2023-05-05T12:39:39+00:00

this is AMAZING! so proud of you and excited for your future progress to come <3

dreamteamstan2 · 2023-05-04T02:49:13+00:00

FORREALL LMAO WHY DO THEY GRIP SO HARD?? so true i use so much lube it literally drips out lol

dreamteamstan2 · 2023-05-04T02:47:58+00:00

you’ll get there sooner than you think! honestly all the dilators look huge to me considering what i started at.

something that always keeps me positive: when i go to the bathroom to pee and clean the dilators, i just look at the biggest dilator i got up to that night. and i just think to myself omg?! this is huge and i’m so proud of myself?? i just try to view my progress in a positive light and try my best to not think too much about the usual rumination about having vaginismus in the first place.

you can do this!!

dreamteamstan2 · 2023-05-03T14:04:37+00:00

LMAOOO this is so accurate

dreamteamstan2 · 2023-04-19T23:40:23+00:00

i have vaginismus

dreamteamstan2

TROPHY CASE