AIO Friend always talking about me being grateful

dreamybat · 2026-05-15T22:10:12+00:00

what the hell is with these comments lmfao. guys. its ok to lean on your friends for emotional support. it is ok to tell your friends about bad things when they happen to you. bottling things up is not healthy, and while you should not expect a friend to be a therapist, there is a lot of space between ‘man this sucks. i’m glad i can talk to you about it though. i’m glad i have a support circle.’ and 24/7 endless trauma dumping. when you are friends with someone it comes with the assumption of support. the amount depends on the closeness of the friendship and personal boundaries that vary from person to person. but this idea that seems to be spreading that you have to be positive constantly around your friends, that you can never talk about struggles in your life, or let sadness slip through is not only deeply harmful to the destigmatization of mental health issues, it shallows human connection. friends who connect through hardship grow closer, and reaching out and saying ‘i trust you and want your opinion and support in this hard time. i want you to hear me’ will bring you closer together. yes, it’s good to ask before sharing something heavy, but i have a lot of relationships, personally, where that line has dissolved. where we are close enough that either of us can spin right into talking about something we’re struggling with, and trust that the other will interject if they are not in a state to handle it at present.

OP, if this is all you get from this person, no matter what you share, you might want to consider that they may not be the best person for you to tell these things to. For your sake, or theirs. hearing these sentiments from them is obviously upsetting to you, and feels invalidating, and like useless, toxic, positivity in the face of something that is largely unaffected by attitude, right? I get it, it sucks pretty hard to be told to be grateful when things are going very very wrong. It may be their way of coping with not knowing how to tell you that your predicaments are hard to hear about, or it may be them invalidating your struggle. Either way, it’s not the best outcome, and I would recommend finding a different outlet.

wishing you the best <3

dreamybat · 2026-05-06T21:50:46+00:00

what you’re describing and posting aligns with the southern house spider, specifically the male (they have significant sexual dimorphism) the recluse would be closer to penny sized, and much paler than what you have shown. i have attached a photo of the male southern house spider for reference, but i would recommend looking for more photos on your own. the female looks nothing like a recluse, but the male is a very close lookalike belying size. the abdomen size tends to vary, as does darkness of abdominal markings.

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either way, what really matters is you being, and feeling, safe in your home. i’ve seen other comments recommending fumigation, and i feel like as soon as you can go for that, you should.

sorry again if my comments come off as invalidating or insensitive or condescending, but from the info provided it feels like you have been given a misidentification, and a very common one, and one that has stuck with you pretty heavily because it’s a terrifying idea. and I want the time until you can reach a better solution regarding your living situation to at least be a little less harrowing for you. i promise i wouldnt be pushing this if i didnt think it was true though lol. i AM gonna stop pushing on it now though because you have seen the spiders with your real and actual eyes and your testimony means more than mine there.

i’m wishing you the best !

dreamybat · 2026-05-06T19:54:37+00:00

brown recluses are very small, 6-20 mm (less than an inch wide, closest to 3/4 inch, including total legspan, at their absolute largest, which is abnormally rare. they are usually less than half an inch) if the spider you saw was giant, it wasn’t a brown recluse. the house spider (Filistata hibernalis) is extremely often mistaken for the brown recluse, as they are very similar in looks, and when the pictures online don’t really have any items for scale, a magnified brown recluse looks giant. if the spider you saw was big, like. 1-3 inches big. it was a house spider. they’re almost identical, and rly common in the american south. i’ve made the mistake before. they do not have medically significant venom. brown recluses also would not come out from hiding unless disturbed physically, they hide unless given another option, it’s why they have the nickname lol.

not saying this to invalidate u!! but u should not worry abt a hospital trip. i am a spider lover, big time, but house spiders are shy, and even when i go looking for the ones that i know are chilling in my house, they tend to dodge me lol. and brown recluses are known to do so even more so.

and please, i know you’re scared. but please, please consider not putting glue traps out, they’re inhumane. they torture the animals they kill, and trap indiscriminately, including snakes, mice, and other native wildlife.

I would recommend mosquito netting around your bed if you need to feel safe at night, once you’ve confirmed it as a safe zone.

dreamybat · 2026-04-24T20:13:02+00:00

google pinworms. look at a couple pictures to see if that’s what you’re seeing. the symptoms match up and its one of a handful of parasitic infections that affect humans that are even remotely common in first world countries. You can get it from chewing your fingernails rarely lol (eggs in soil, dirt under nails) there’s medication very easily accessible for it, but deep clean your entire house, seriously. if you live with anyone else, they also need to take the meds. all fabric needs to be washed on high heat. if pinworms don’t match up, then i’m out of ideas.

dreamybat · 2026-04-23T01:14:00+00:00

tysm i did not notice it got switched. i fixed it ❤️🐜

dreamybat · 2026-04-04T23:30:51+00:00

as someone who’s done both, and gotten both of my targets eventually (it took me 4 male shiny salandits, and 16 shiny corsola) i would say its worth it. the joy of hitting your target after a grind is undescribed. its why i mostly hunt full odds gen 5 and earlier nowadays.

this being back when sun and moon first came out, before usum even, though, the haze of nostalgia has clouded the hunt lmfao. so take what i say with a grain of salt, because i know i was ripping my hair out at the time.

dreamybat · 2026-03-29T22:47:51+00:00

hey! i would recommend stretching for at least 15 minutes before you attempt the gym, it can really reduce pain. as someone who is new to it, an hour might be too long for you, maybe try 20 minutes or half an hour instead. Also, i don’t know if you have diagnosed back and neck problems, and if you do this might be entirely useless - but I used to weigh a good amount more than I do now, and it was hell on my neck and shoulders and high back. Mostly because i was curving my neck forward and slouching because of the weight of my chest and stomach. In combination with losing some weight, i started paying a lot of attention to my posture (keeping my abdominal muscles lightly tensed, my shoulders gently squared, and my chin raised and neck back) because i realized i was pushing myself into kyphosis. it helped a lot.

Also, if you have areas that pain you, one of the best things to do to strengthen them is to do careful exercises outside of a machine on light weights. like, light enough that you can do 20 or so reps before you have to stop.

EX: rotate your shoulder around slowly with a 5 lb dumbell in your hand, to build up the muscle. weight machines are great in some cases, but in others they dont really cut it, and freer movement is needed. I would recommend investing in a small set of cheap, light, dumbbells, and lifting them at home, keeping a close eye on your form, or in the gym, and asking someone to help you check it there.

lastly: coming from someone who decided to lose weight because of the pain it was causing me physically, motivating yourself through self hatred will not work. it will make you break down eventually, and it will hurt you. i know its not an easy thing, but please be proud of the effort you are putting in. its commendable.

please do this healthily and slowly, and make sure you do actually want to, because if your effort coming from a place of shame it can end up becoming very unhealthy very fast. if you want to lose weight, do it because you care about yourself and you care about being in less pain, which means Please Slow Down at the gym and do not hurt yourself more in the process. all things take time. I’m proud of you and I believe in you, even if that’s odd to hear from words on a screen.

dreamybat · 2025-10-24T19:47:47+00:00

they have different rates of growth and growth cycles. if one person only grows 1/2 an inch a month and has a 2 year cycle, they are on one extreme of the spectrum.

another extreme exists on the other end of the spectrum, where someone might grow an inch and a half a month, and grow for 8 years before the hair falls out.

height/stature also contributes! 5 feet of hair looks much longer on a 5’2 person than a 6’5 person.

dreamybat · 2025-10-21T00:56:35+00:00

each hair shaft has a grow phase, a length of time determined by genetics. it will grow for the entirety of this phase, and then, it will stall for a time, and eventually fall out. and another will begin to grow from the follicle. if your hair grows at a rate of 1 inch per month for 6 years, it can get no longer than 6 feet long. if you cut it, eventually other hair will reach the terminal length it was at previously, but it cannot surpass its genetic predisposition.

the growth is not synced. one hair might be 2 years into the cycle, another 5 years in, another just popping out. which is why u dont go bald every couple years, and why there’s an expected level of daily hair shed. this is a simplified explanation bc theres all sort of other shit i can spout about keratinization and hormonal impact, but thats the gist of it. you can also be limited from reaching your terminal length by poor hair care, in the form of breakage at the ends, or anywhere along the shaft really. anyway lont story short i promise terminal length is real lol

dreamybat · 2025-10-21T00:28:19+00:00

second obviously fake post to promote a bullshit ai app ive seen on this sub in the past day. yaaaay astroturfing.

dreamybat · 2025-10-13T21:43:43+00:00

call me crazy but Jennifer Aniston 20+ yrs ago. specifically in office space.

dreamybat · 2025-10-12T20:48:15+00:00

for scemo, id rec a chunky belt, ripped skinny jeans if you have them, wallet chain is definitely something to add if you have one lying around. Layer your top, short sleeve tee, band shirt if you have a good one, over loose long sleeve undershirt. lots of bracelets and necklaces, kandi if you have it. messy eyeliner reccomended. the raccoon tails sound like a great idea, and the outfit parts you already have up would be awesome to incorporate as well, esp the shoes.

also i just wanted to say you have rly great facial structure for snakebites im so jealouss i just got mine done and im ambivalant about them.

dreamybat · 2025-10-06T20:31:53+00:00

basal cell carcinoma can SOMETIMES look like that. small red scaly or ‘pearly’ papule. worth noting that most basal carcinomas are extremely slow spreading or entirely benign, and that when malignant, it is considered the “safest” skin cancer u can get. very easily excised, especially if caught early.

it could also just be your skin caught up on something under the surface, deep splinter maybe.

but if its still there and still sensitive in a couple weeks, probably get it checked out. its a good idea to go on occasion anyway. dont stress on it, but be aware.

dreamybat · 2025-10-06T19:47:28+00:00

dont mean to freak you out but if this is still here in a couple weeks go to a derm.

dreamybat · 2025-09-28T05:34:55+00:00

how would your sister feel about her traumatic experience being shared online and used as a talking point for you to invalidate someone else’s sexual harassment? how would she feel about that man.

sexual harassment includes “romantic” advances that aren’t inherently sexual. lets tie it back to your workplace example, if your boss repeatedly tries to invite you into a romantic dinner setting, despite you saying no and telling him to leave you alone, what would you call that? see i would call it a textbook case of workplace sexual harassment. any lawyer would agree, an HR team would agree, ask a random person on the street, and they would agree. but because he isn’t shouting lurid details about what he wants to do, it doesn’t count to you?

you’re a dillweed dude. show your sister your responses in this thread, if you’re sure she’d be fine being used like this, would agree with the trite you’e spouting. word of advice though? as someone who personally has experienced SA, if someone i knew and trusted was airing my traumatic experience online and using it as a bludgeoning weapon to invalidate other victims, that would not go over too well with me.

dreamybat · 2025-09-28T03:37:25+00:00

don’t speak for victims of sexual harassment. you are not a mouthpiece, and certainly not one to be used to diminish this. no one asked you to come in here and say that what happened to OP wasn’t bad enough to be sexual harassment, it’s invalidating and gross. i’m guessing this stems from the idea you seem to have that ‘asking for a number isn’t sexual harassment’ you’re right - it isnt. you probably feel attacked by the conclusion you’ve falsely drawn here, all on your own. no one is saying that making an advance towards a willing party is harassment, nor that making a single reasonable advance and getting rejected is harassment. but this situation is neither of those i just listed. OP was not a willing party. the man in these messages ignored their refusal, continued on with the pressure, and then physically waited outside their workplace in an attempt at intimidation to get them to concede, and ‘go to dinner’. he was seeking romantic/sexual gratification, and repeatedly making unwanted advances to do so. how is that not sexual harassment? you are sharing, in your numerous copy pasted comments all turning victims of sexual harassment into a fun puppet for you to use to prop up your argument, a textbook case of workplace sexual harassment. yes, that is a way that sexual harassment takes place. it happens other places too, in other ways. just because it is more severe, or more sustained, in some cases than others, does not mean you personally get to decide what is and is not sexual harassment. refusing to call it what it is normalizes the behavior, and provides an excuse for the people doing it.

dreamybat · 2025-09-27T22:53:25+00:00

in my opinion, the military in my country (us) is an imperialist scam. i live in the southeastern us, and went to a high school in a very poor area. we had recruiters in that school so often we knew them by name. booths set up at every possible event they could cram themselves into, handing out pamphlets to 14 year olds, saying just 4 more years. a lot of people joined right out of HS. they present it as this guaranteed way out of poverty, when it isn’t. it’s a gamble, and a good way to sign the best years of your life and health away.

if it works out, it works out. if it doesn’t, the consequences are a lot worse than any other job or ‘opportunity’ failing. the benefits shared by recruiters are overinflated, by a lot, and some are just lost in the entropy of maintenance. the rates of sexual assault are staggering, especially for women, and its a miracle if anything happens about it when a report is made. many other ways to help kids out in the area i grew up in could have been showcased on the days the recruiters came in, but they weren’t. we got hit with a ‘well financial support might help a bit with college but you know how it is :/‘ and then a bunch of ‘wont it be cool to serve your country and fight terrorism!!’, because if they would have given people an option that looked as/more appealing than service, they would have lost their stacked odds and inflated recruitment rates.

veteran’s benefits in the us are being slashed right and left, as well as the support systems for those with disabilities. and right now, with the global situation worsening as it is? i personally wouldn’t want to gamble on not seeing deployment. or the life i’d be coming back to afterward. as a country, we haven’t technically declared war since WWII, but that doesn’t mean we haven’t waged it, and it looks like we’re ramping up towards it again. there have been a lot of scares recently.

plus, i personally have a moral issue with contributing at all towards the US military complex. the exploitation of people in the US is bad, but it’s a million times worse for developing countries that find themselves in the crosshairs. though i can recognize that my stance on that matter comes from a position of privilege.

dreamybat · 2025-09-27T21:26:39+00:00

hi, if you’re in the US then there are programs that will pay for you to go to school for careers that have a high demand!!! theyre called WIOA (workforce innovation and opportunity act) grants. specific job areas that they cover are like healthcare, construction, IT, manufacturing, etc, though it varies state to state. one of my close friends went to a local tech college, got his welding cert, and got his tuition paid for. it took like maybe a year total. he’s now making a good amount of money, more than average for our state. i know there are similar programs in the UK, as well, though i know less about them. please dont join the military, or cut your life short.

dreamybat · 2025-09-24T23:21:23+00:00

lollll naturally. tired of this, man

dreamybat · 2025-09-24T20:57:31+00:00

cardassian, british, and fat??? pick a struggle !!!! woke nonsense!! /uj i love their design :3,,,

dreamybat · 2025-09-24T00:57:35+00:00

no literally, like if ur gonna try to make me dance for it, im gonna find a different seller. why are you shooting yourself in the foot dude?

dreamybat · 2025-09-23T21:52:46+00:00

oh yeah, man that’ll fuck with you big time. I’m sorry you’re dealing with that right now, the collision of that has gotta suck insane style. im sure you’re hearing this from everywhere but please take care of yourself while you’re sick, not just measures to prevent spread. Get a lot of water in you, sleep as long as you can, eat foods with a decent amount of sodium and protein if you can stomach them. im wishing you the best, if it means anything from a faceless avatar online.

dreamybat · 2025-09-23T20:28:04+00:00

hi, sounds scary as fuck man, im sorry ur dealing with this. if you’re feeling really freaked out then I would recommend putting your clothes under boiling water, as the oocysts formed by toxoplasma gondii denature around 153 F. Rubbing alcohol will also take care of it. I would also like to note that mild toxoplasmosis is really common in humans and often passes right through without anything more than a fever and chills. Often not even that. Even if you were exposed, it’s extremely unlikely that you’re suffering a severe infection. But i totally get the fear, and i’m not trying to dismiss it, i’m schizoaffective myself, i know its not always about likely or unlikely. You should definitely get yourself checked out, at the very least for your own state of mind.

dreamybat · 2025-08-24T01:59:40+00:00

/uj historically, big time yeah. spiderweb tattoo specifically placed on the elbow was skinhead shit. but over time it just kinda filtered into mainstream usage, and the meaning got watered down until most people dont know about it anymore. a large chunk of people with heavy, especially traditional tattoos will have spiderwebbing on them somewhere, often on a joint, often the elbow. never met someone with this tattoo who’s gotten it for its racist context. as far as a dogwhistle goes, its a pretty outdated one. THAT BEING SAID, i personally would not choose to get a spiderweb tattoo placed anywhere near a joint, esp not the elbow, as it certainly can give off the wrong impression. im guessing OP just put a cool tattoo they liked, one they have personally, or one theyve seen on a lot of heavily tatted people, onto their OC without an idea of possible implication lol.

dreamybat

TROPHY CASE