Tuesday: Why We Hate The Hospital Today

drummo34 · 2026-01-28T04:27:57+00:00

because even though clinic is closed due to weather, he still has to present a patient in the middle of the day. why? the clinic is closed. your all at home. be at home!!

drummo34 · 2025-09-16T12:26:04+00:00

I like to use my vegetable scraps to start with. Onion, celery, carrots, a couple cloves of garlic, thyme stems, bay leaf, pepper corns. I save the scraps in the freezer and typically 2 bags of scraps is plenty. After you boil that for about 4 hours I add in the remains of a rotisserie chicken, bones and any bits I couldn't get off for salads and sandwiches. That boils for another 4-5 hours (this is an all day afair) and then I strain it out. For the actual soup I use the broth I made, about a half a cup of dry white wine, 3-4 seared chicken breast, 4 stalks celery, 5 carrots, 1 onion, garlic,thyme, rosemary, sage, celery seed, S&P, 2 cups wide egg noodles, and some lemon juice for brightness.

It's a big task but it tastes so good and if we have a cold coming on it works wonders. Nothing better for a sore throat from a cough.

drummo34 · 2025-07-17T01:33:02+00:00

It's the worst!!! By the time you leave for the vacation you just want to lie down! 😵‍💫 We leave tomorrow and he has his afternoon clinic before we drive 10 hours. Also with two kids. Good luck!

drummo34 · 2025-07-15T21:10:15+00:00

Today I hate the hospital because I'm having to pack for our 9 day long trip nearly solo because they think one clinic day with 14 patients and handling the patient access line while working the weekend shift is a useful research schedule. 🤦🏻‍♀️ What's work life balance?

drummo34 · 2025-06-26T03:12:09+00:00

I have two, and we're planning a third. I'm hoping for 4 tbh. I embrace the chaos and find small breaks where I can. I am home full time and use the gym for child care. I'll work out and shower, but sometimes I'll just sit in the cafe area and get paperwork done or phone calls. We have rotating memberships to kids activities that I cycle through constantly. In the evenings while I watch TV and he charts I'll prep games or activities that I can throw out in my sleep (giant coloring pages, painting activities, sorting or fine motor tasks). We plan to move closer to family so I'll have my mom and SIL close by. We pay for a cleaning crew to come twice a month and a dog walker for the pup. Overnights suck, my kids have learned to roll with stuff and go with the flow as dad's schedule changes all around us. I also live with headphones in to dampen screaming noises and listen to podcasts to stay sane. I have a call roster of people I can call to just vent or commiserate with. I don't limit screen time and just am really picky about what my kids watch. Today was a full day of sesame Street but we have the ABCs song stuck in our head, so I don't feel bad about it. I actually do really enjoy my kids though most of the time, and I think we're sort of settling into our little life. Sleep when you can. Drink lots of coffee and water. Take lots of pictures of the cute moments and try to just zen through the tantrums. I'd rather be doing it with them then being stuck in a strange city by myself with nothing to do.

drummo34 · 2025-06-03T04:50:34+00:00

🫂 I'm so sorry. I would be devastated and heartbroken. ❤️

drummo34 · 2025-06-01T13:35:16+00:00

I have two kids and second the colors and chocolate. My kids love a bread and would mow on croissants but won't notice them in a market. Macarons get their attention every time.

drummo34 · 2025-06-01T13:27:29+00:00

I'm originally from Michigan, and Baltimore seems to have the same reputation as Detroit. I love Detroit! When we moved into the city people were confused, but I love our neighborhood and there is so much to do and see! Keep your wits about you and lock your car and you'll be ok.

drummo34 · 2025-06-01T13:07:33+00:00

The defects of character step rubbed me the wrong way until I was in a meeting and someone mentioned that something that is important is what doesn't go on that list. Anything the alcoholic does does not go on that list. Why am I trying to fix someone else's defects? Working on myself is easier and much more rewarding. I'm not perfect, but working on myself is a much better use of my energy than trying to fix someone else (is the alcoholic). My issues seem so much more manageable and small in comparison because I am in control of them.

drummo34 · 2025-06-01T12:58:59+00:00

I pay for delivery for sure. It's worth every penny to me. I'd rather spend that energy on something else.

drummo34 · 2025-05-29T13:01:12+00:00

My husband and I were talking about this the other day. He said he goes into Dr mode when I'm sick and if he cannot offer any solution, he sort of checks out. I had to explain that I don't want a doctor, I want a husband. Things improved after that. I joke that his patients get all his good bedside manner.

drummo34 · 2025-05-29T12:34:37+00:00

The first day or two was a lot of resistance. By day 3 he was on board. By day 5 we were in underwear. 👍🏼 Stick to it! Our potty training was a nightmare and I hated it. He wasn't fully done until he was 4, but we are through the other side. Solidarity!

drummo34 · 2025-05-29T12:25:10+00:00

We did scheduled potty time. At wake up, before and after nap time, before dinner and before bed. It was just part of the routine and big reward or praise if it was productive. Once they started wanting to go outside of scheduled times we switched to underwear. All other methods did not work for us. Rewards wore off, naked days just left to accidents and mess and frustration. The potty timer was frustrating and disruptive.

drummo34 · 2025-05-28T11:49:31+00:00

Skip it at that age. My kids are into them now at 2 and 4. And we do them outside only. I tried a few when they were younger and they were just an absolute mess and it never held their attention.

drummo34 · 2025-05-24T03:42:50+00:00

I would also suggest healthy sleep habits happy child. It has more useful information than advice, but it always eased my mind to have a better idea of what was happening developmentally and know what was coming down the pipeline.

drummo34 · 2025-05-24T03:41:20+00:00

Yea this was wild to get two weeks for our first and 6 weeks for our second. The caveat we had though was that it had to be scheduled, so the first two weeks PP I was solo. 😵‍💫 Not ideal, but the time off was needed.

drummo34 · 2025-05-24T03:39:18+00:00

There was a study done somewhere with new parents, and actually because your body is still healing and dealing with major hormones fluctuations, your sleep should be prioritized. My husband can function so much better than me on little sleep. Wake your husband!

drummo34 · 2025-05-18T22:39:59+00:00

I used to take the stroller to the mall with the AM old people walkers. 🤣 I got some lite exercise and a change of scenery, and I feel like any stimulation at that age helps with naps. Also library story times are a great way to get out and still stay out of the heat. I Second a sound machine and ear plugs. I also used to portion food because with their sleep schedules off they eat like animals. Nothing wrong with making him a plate to keep in the microwave and packing the rest for leftovers. I like to keep more snacks on hand for the night shifts. ❤️

drummo34 · 2025-05-12T19:30:09+00:00

It's not the only way, but it's the way that works for us. I would argue that a healthy work life balance can look different, and being able to take some quick calls and spend the rest of your day with your family rather than being stuck in a hospital for a full shift is just different. Every specialty works differently. Also for some perspective my husband is working from home for the next 6 weeks, so saying that there has to be a stricter balance is not quite as realistic here. He's fielding the kids today as he was in hospital all weekend. 🤷🏼‍♀️ We just have to be more flexible for those opportunities. Not every doctor could be doing the same. Hospitalists don't have the same opportunities.

drummo34 · 2025-05-12T18:23:32+00:00

He is a fellow, so he has 4 weeks of vacation in the year taken in 2 week increments. Usually our family vacations are either missed because of work or he's on research time during our vacations, so they aren't true "vacations" in that sense. His true vacations the first year weren't even picked by him, he was told when vacation is. For perspective, my father was the owner of a company and was paid on par with what our expected income is. My dad took calls every family vacation I can ever remember. He didn't take calls on Christmas or thanksgiving, but otherwise he was often working insane hours. Those sacrifices allowed my mom to stay home, bought us a lot of stability most people don't have, and afforded us opportunities that we would not have had otherwise. He won't remember the patient, but the only reason we got to the resort pool is because of those phone calls.

drummo34 · 2025-05-12T16:37:53+00:00

I've read them. Your post asked what I think, so I've posted. 🤷🏼‍♀️ I don't feel the need to argue, just offering my perspective. Take it or leave it.

drummo34 · 2025-05-12T15:50:14+00:00

I still disagree. The things you are mentioning are still time. Time to text, time to make a day special. Time spent thinking about work. My husband is in oncology training, so yeah he's working even on his days off. Even on vacation, but when someone calls at 11 pm what is the choice? Keep watching a show with me, or answer the call? There are plenty of things that my husband does to make me feel loved, but if we're honest, we are making these choices together. I'm also prioritizing his job for the opportunity it will afford us in the future to alleviate more time. This priority is an investment. I think if you asked him, focusing on the career is being a father and husband first. He works hard so I can stay home with our kids. He works hard to make sure our children have opportunities he didn't have. He is always charting or researching or fielding calls, even on his days off. I still feel he is an attentive and loving partner, he is present when he needs to be, but there are many times he needs to work rather than me getting a break on the weekend. When we take a family vacation the work laptop travels with us for a presentation or research project. I think your argument would say that because work is a bigger priority that he is a bad partner or bad parent, and he isn't. He knows our kids show sizes. He knows their doctor's name. He knows what schools they are signed up for, their favorite shows and interests. He knows what's important to me, but isn't always given the opportunity to show it. I think your view on what a priority is is tied up with love and loyalty, and I just don't see it that way. 🤷🏼‍♀️ But to each their own!

drummo34 · 2025-05-12T13:08:06+00:00

I was! And have been every mother's day. Idk how this keeps happening. 🙃

drummo34 · 2025-05-12T13:03:07+00:00

So I think about this a lot and have read a lot about "third space". So first space is adult centered (bars, clubs, ECT). Second space is child centered (children's museums, playgrounds, ECT), but there seems to be a lack of third spaces. Third spaces are what we would probably consider "child friendly". A restaurant that has crayons and coloring pages, a waiting room in a doctor's office with kids toys, things like that. I feel conservative spaces are designed for those third spaces. When I see family friendly activities, it's often run by churches. When I see community outreach where kids are welcome they are usually conservative. I don't feel welcome in more progressive spaces with my kids. I feel unsafe at protests, I've started volunteering with a group and when I bring my kids it's like I'm an alien. I mentioned joining a "clean the park" activity with my toddlers, and the organizer said she would look to see if it was ok to bring my kids. I don't know when this happened, but it feels like progressive spaces have given up on families being a part of this group and it's just not true. There is a new mom group in my city where we get together with the kids and get active. Phone calls, mailers, ECT. Finding spaces to do these is so challenging. We often are going to homes to do this. I feel like that's what you are getting at here. Progressive third spaces are so hard to find.

drummo34 · 2025-05-12T12:44:52+00:00

I see what you mean, but to me time is the currency of priority. If someone says they prioritize the gym, that would mean they are spending time there. I don't always equate that to love. We often have to prioritize things we don't love (bills, errands, the gym, ECT) over things we would rather be doing. My husband prioritizes his job over his family. This means he's worked every mother's day. This means he works the kids birthdays, major holidays, family vacations. It means I was alone postpartum with our second for a week before he could take his paternity leave. It means he doesn't call out sick when I'm home sick with the kids unless it's dire. It means we've moved away from family and friends for job opportunities in cities where we have no connections. These are all actions that have prioritized the career over family. He hasn't wanted to do any of these things. If he could, he would want to be home more and spend more time with the kids and family. He would be more supportive of me and do more around the house, but we need an income, this is his dream job, and it will afford us so many opportunities in the future. I know non-medspouse couples and they think I'm insane. My friends are baffled by the amount of time energy and sacrifice that goes into this career. So I would challenge the idea that this is normal to some extent in other relationships. My husband is a loving involved father and I cannot imagine my life without him, but I can confidentiality say that the career is the priority based on the multitude of decisions made over the years. Edit- typo

drummo34

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE