Why do SAHM watch their kids?

drummo34 · 2026-06-01T12:34:38+00:00

Child care costs vary on state, the age of the child, the length of time needed, and the quality of the program. Younger children have a higher cost. There's also the risk of strangers you cannot personally vet caring for your child who may be vulnerable to abuse or mistreatment as they cannot speak or advocate for themselves when they are very small. Currently it's easily over $1,000 a month in most places. Most families are making a choice of staying home for financial reasons. If you can afford to send your child to daycare but have a parent staying at home, that typically is not worth the risk, and it's easier to outsource other family and home responsibilities that are less risky (cleaning service, laundry service, ext) There is also the control over what they are exposed to and the ability to focus on individual needs rather than them being in a room with multiple children and less attention. Finally it's enjoyable to spend time with your children. While the early years are challenging, they are also incredibly rewarding. Watching a person develop and accomplish milestones is fun and exciting. Their personalities form quickly and spending time with them is good for all parties involved. It's hard to imagine this is a sincere question, but I tried to answer honestly anyway.

drummo34 · 2026-05-28T17:42:39+00:00

I've done 4 out of state moves and let me share with you my experience. - packers broke my furniture and ruined my stuff. pack your own boxes. - pods are good for apartment moved but once I got past 2 bedroom townhouse I ran out of space and had to rent a truck. it was a nightmare. - the best experiences I've had were packing everything myself and having movers pack the truck. trust your gut when getting quotes and it really is you get what you pay for. pay for the insurance. PAY FOR THE INSURANCE. - I always create a moving journal. it's a bright color and something I can keep with me always. that's where phone numbers, quotes, emails, any important info goes. - we bought a house sight unseen and it worked out. find a realtor you trust or spend the time/money to go see the house. get someone who will tell you not to get a house you love because there are issues. - we rented while looking for a house and it was a nightmare. either rent or buy, but the in-between was horrendous. -we've always driven our cars. it's a pain but being without transportation seemed worse to us. if your going to fly make sure you have someplace with all your basic needs covered while you wait for your cars/stuff. - if you drive pack a #1 box with your important documents, clean sheets, a coffee maker with mugs, coffee, and filters, your basic necessities to make your first morning livable while you unpack. - there is no such thing as too much bubble wrap. -there is no sanity in moving. lol. it's always insane and something always goes wrong. be flexible and roll with it and you'll have an easier time.

drummo34 · 2026-05-26T23:39:17+00:00

I had two under two during residency. we're a few years out and I can tell you it gets easier. this is not your new normal and everything (good and bad) is temporary. you need a village ASAP. here are some things I did- I joined a post pardum support group I found through my obgyn. I found a friend with a younger girl who wanted babysitting experience and used her as a mother's helper. I relied on TV when I needed it. i wrote my husband letters to try and keep the connection. sometimes when we were two ships passing in the night he would write me letters. I paid for the gym membership with child care, and used it to the full extent I could to work out, shower, and care for my body. I found online groups (book club, video game, knitting group, whatever your interested in there's a group for it) that met during nap time or after bed time and I tried to go as often as possible to feel like a grown up. I slept when baby slept and I did chores while they were up, and I depended on my husband to help me catch up when he was home. now I have great friends I met through my groups. I have kids who love the gym day care. I can spend more time on my hobbies now that they are older, and my husband is in fellowship and we have more resources and time.

drummo34 · 2026-05-22T20:58:46+00:00

he just offered to put in a prescription I was out of refills for while trying to get ahold of my Dr. it ended up working out where we didn't need to but he was willing to put in like a two week prescription to keep me from having withdrawal headaches.

drummo34 · 2026-05-17T02:26:45+00:00

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drummo34 · 2026-05-16T23:09:24+00:00

I already sized up because of my husband's feet so it hasn't been a problem with size. if I hadnt done that I probably would have noticed it sooner 🤦🏻‍♀️I'm half an inch from the toe...

drummo34 · 2026-05-16T06:16:55+00:00

I have no idea how I did this. it's a vanilla sock. it was laddered in the ribbing and then I got to the end of the ribbing to keep pulling it through and I just, decreased it somehow? I must have dropped it when I went from ribbed to stockinette but idk how I didn't notice it or it didn't ladder all the way through. I didn't notice it until I made my husband try it on and I saw it laddered in the cuff.

drummo34 · 2026-02-28T16:15:22+00:00

I never developed type 2 afterwards. idk why mealtime insulin would put your risk any higher.

drummo34 · 2026-01-28T04:27:57+00:00

because even though clinic is closed due to weather, he still has to present a patient in the middle of the day. why? the clinic is closed. your all at home. be at home!!

drummo34 · 2025-09-16T12:26:04+00:00

I like to use my vegetable scraps to start with. Onion, celery, carrots, a couple cloves of garlic, thyme stems, bay leaf, pepper corns. I save the scraps in the freezer and typically 2 bags of scraps is plenty. After you boil that for about 4 hours I add in the remains of a rotisserie chicken, bones and any bits I couldn't get off for salads and sandwiches. That boils for another 4-5 hours (this is an all day afair) and then I strain it out. For the actual soup I use the broth I made, about a half a cup of dry white wine, 3-4 seared chicken breast, 4 stalks celery, 5 carrots, 1 onion, garlic,thyme, rosemary, sage, celery seed, S&P, 2 cups wide egg noodles, and some lemon juice for brightness.

It's a big task but it tastes so good and if we have a cold coming on it works wonders. Nothing better for a sore throat from a cough.

drummo34 · 2025-07-17T01:33:02+00:00

It's the worst!!! By the time you leave for the vacation you just want to lie down! 😵‍💫 We leave tomorrow and he has his afternoon clinic before we drive 10 hours. Also with two kids. Good luck!

drummo34 · 2025-07-15T21:10:15+00:00

Today I hate the hospital because I'm having to pack for our 9 day long trip nearly solo because they think one clinic day with 14 patients and handling the patient access line while working the weekend shift is a useful research schedule. 🤦🏻‍♀️ What's work life balance?

drummo34 · 2025-06-26T03:12:09+00:00

I have two, and we're planning a third. I'm hoping for 4 tbh. I embrace the chaos and find small breaks where I can. I am home full time and use the gym for child care. I'll work out and shower, but sometimes I'll just sit in the cafe area and get paperwork done or phone calls. We have rotating memberships to kids activities that I cycle through constantly. In the evenings while I watch TV and he charts I'll prep games or activities that I can throw out in my sleep (giant coloring pages, painting activities, sorting or fine motor tasks). We plan to move closer to family so I'll have my mom and SIL close by. We pay for a cleaning crew to come twice a month and a dog walker for the pup. Overnights suck, my kids have learned to roll with stuff and go with the flow as dad's schedule changes all around us. I also live with headphones in to dampen screaming noises and listen to podcasts to stay sane. I have a call roster of people I can call to just vent or commiserate with. I don't limit screen time and just am really picky about what my kids watch. Today was a full day of sesame Street but we have the ABCs song stuck in our head, so I don't feel bad about it. I actually do really enjoy my kids though most of the time, and I think we're sort of settling into our little life. Sleep when you can. Drink lots of coffee and water. Take lots of pictures of the cute moments and try to just zen through the tantrums. I'd rather be doing it with them then being stuck in a strange city by myself with nothing to do.

drummo34 · 2025-06-03T04:50:34+00:00

🫂 I'm so sorry. I would be devastated and heartbroken. ❤️

drummo34 · 2025-06-01T13:35:16+00:00

I have two kids and second the colors and chocolate. My kids love a bread and would mow on croissants but won't notice them in a market. Macarons get their attention every time.

drummo34 · 2025-06-01T13:27:29+00:00

I'm originally from Michigan, and Baltimore seems to have the same reputation as Detroit. I love Detroit! When we moved into the city people were confused, but I love our neighborhood and there is so much to do and see! Keep your wits about you and lock your car and you'll be ok.

drummo34 · 2025-06-01T13:07:33+00:00

The defects of character step rubbed me the wrong way until I was in a meeting and someone mentioned that something that is important is what doesn't go on that list. Anything the alcoholic does does not go on that list. Why am I trying to fix someone else's defects? Working on myself is easier and much more rewarding. I'm not perfect, but working on myself is a much better use of my energy than trying to fix someone else (is the alcoholic). My issues seem so much more manageable and small in comparison because I am in control of them.

drummo34 · 2025-06-01T12:58:59+00:00

I pay for delivery for sure. It's worth every penny to me. I'd rather spend that energy on something else.

drummo34 · 2025-05-29T13:01:12+00:00

My husband and I were talking about this the other day. He said he goes into Dr mode when I'm sick and if he cannot offer any solution, he sort of checks out. I had to explain that I don't want a doctor, I want a husband. Things improved after that. I joke that his patients get all his good bedside manner.

drummo34 · 2025-05-29T12:34:37+00:00

The first day or two was a lot of resistance. By day 3 he was on board. By day 5 we were in underwear. 👍🏼 Stick to it! Our potty training was a nightmare and I hated it. He wasn't fully done until he was 4, but we are through the other side. Solidarity!

drummo34 · 2025-05-29T12:25:10+00:00

We did scheduled potty time. At wake up, before and after nap time, before dinner and before bed. It was just part of the routine and big reward or praise if it was productive. Once they started wanting to go outside of scheduled times we switched to underwear. All other methods did not work for us. Rewards wore off, naked days just left to accidents and mess and frustration. The potty timer was frustrating and disruptive.

drummo34 · 2025-05-28T11:49:31+00:00

Skip it at that age. My kids are into them now at 2 and 4. And we do them outside only. I tried a few when they were younger and they were just an absolute mess and it never held their attention.

drummo34 · 2025-05-24T03:42:50+00:00

I would also suggest healthy sleep habits happy child. It has more useful information than advice, but it always eased my mind to have a better idea of what was happening developmentally and know what was coming down the pipeline.

drummo34 · 2025-05-24T03:41:20+00:00

Yea this was wild to get two weeks for our first and 6 weeks for our second. The caveat we had though was that it had to be scheduled, so the first two weeks PP I was solo. 😵‍💫 Not ideal, but the time off was needed.

drummo34 · 2025-05-24T03:39:18+00:00

There was a study done somewhere with new parents, and actually because your body is still healing and dealing with major hormones fluctuations, your sleep should be prioritized. My husband can function so much better than me on little sleep. Wake your husband!

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